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Is... Is that a garbage bag vest?

You might have some luck with Bubblejail or Firejail. Alternatively, you might want to give one of the Universal Blue images a try. They're Fedora based but immutable. Almost all installations are purposely done in a container using flatpak or distrobox.

It was right there.

Always has bean

I found out about OpenLinkHub recently and it works great with my Corsair AIO cooler that OpenRGB doesn't support.

Is there supposed to be a link?

And you can tie in AI ✨! So you can make an LLM categorize the stuff that you'll never look at again.

The switches reset into a neutral position, so you can't tell if they're on or off except for the LED.

The dimmers don't make a noticeable sound but the switches make an slight audible click when turning on or off.

Worth noting mine are a few years old and they may have changed some things.

Are you looking for scene support (double, triple, etc click events) or just being able to remotely control the light?

Worth noting several brands have cheaper "add-on" switches to use in 3-way scenarios. You would only need one smart switch and add-ons for the remaining switches.

I personally have a bunch of Enbrighten dimmers/switches and add-ons that work like dumb switches when disconnected from the hub. I too was concerned with the WAF (wife approval factor).

If you like the idea of asdf, I would recommend looking at mise. It does all the same things (and more) and is much more performant in my experience.

I set up a notify group for each of us. I use notify.me and add/remove the devices as needed.

notify:
- name: me
  platform: group
  services:
   # - service: mobile_app_pixel_2_xl
    - service: mobile_app_pixel_6

- name: her
  platform: group
  services:
    - service: mobile_app_iphone

Then you can use it like any other service:

service: notify.me
data:
  message: Test
  title: Alert!

It's probably a bit late for a new ESP32, but if not I'm a fan of the M5Stack Atom Lite. It's a solid little device and comes in its own case.