unknownuserunknownlocation

joined 1 day ago

No, no one is saying it's the same as rape itself. That's a strawman. And look at her post:

It was three years ago now when my daughter who was 19 at the time was arrested.

Let's just forget for a moment that it's pretty easy to figure out if something is AI-generated. AI wasn't creating photorealistic pornography three years ago. And she was arrested three years ago. Means, there was an investigation before that. And usually people don't get caught right at the beginning, so we can assume this whole thing started well over three years ago. Also, OP never even mentioned pedophilia, so that's just another strawman.

[–] unknownuserunknownlocation@kbin.earth 6 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

So if someone is raped and the whole thing is filmed, it's completely OK to just pass that footage around, so long as you didn't rape the person yourself? The victim of said rape has no say in that?

Definitely. And honestly, don't wait. I don't know where you live, but it can often take forever to get mental healthcare if it's not an "urgent case" (a fairly high bar to pass), so get started now. When I was in a very difficult situation I wish I had gotten help earlier (even though I can't really blame myself, but that's a whole other can of worms).

"Finally, are you sure she was never a victim of abuse?"

Yes, she wasn't particularly active in her younger years. I monitored everyone she spoke to online and she never had any boyfriends/girlfriends.

That honestly doesn't mean much. Abuse can come from many sources. In many cases, the abuse comes from a family member. It also doesn't have to be sexual abuse, it could also be physical or mental abuse. And the person not being particularly active doesn't change much. In fact, it could make it easier for the abuser to keep things under wraps.

That being said, an abusive past is not an excuse for what she did, but more of something that can help understand the situation from a therapeutic perspective and help preventative efforts.

die Trennung von Infrastruktur und Betrieb zur Sicherung fairer und diskriminierungsfreier Zugänge zum Netz,

🎶_Ich glaub es geht schon wieder los..._🎶 Sorry, aber ich kann diese Forderung nicht mehr hören. Bin selber bei der Bahn, und ja, es ist gerade alles echt beschissen, für alle. Wenn man es aber auf die Ursachen zurückführt, gibt es prinzipiell 3 Probleme:

  • Es werden ständig Strukturen und Ziele umgeändert - meistens nicht um die Situation zu verbessern, sondern um die Willkür der Politik nachzukommen, und man kommt einfach nicht mehr hinterher
  • wir haben massive Strukturen aufgebaut, damit uns ja nicht vorgeworfen wird, dass wir diskriminieren würden. Wie dürfen an viele Stellen nicht oder nur mit riesigen Umwegen miteinander reden und man wundert sich, dass die Produktivität im Eimer sind
  • uns fehlt einfach eine zuverlässige Geldquelle. Die Bauindustrie kann nicht aufrüsten weil sie nicht weiß, ob sich das langfristig lohnt oder gleich im nächsten Moment irgendein Dussel aus der Politik meint, wir würden zu viel ausgeben und es muss alles gestrichen werden.

Also noch einfacher gesagt, die Politik grätscht schon jetzt viel zu viel dazwischen. Diese Petition fordert noch mehr davon.

No, it's not a success for the abused, that's for sure. For the abuser though, they often feed on their victim in a way. The abuser generally uses their victim to regulate their own emotions. So for the abuser, it's a success, even though everyone else loses.

[–] unknownuserunknownlocation@kbin.earth 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's what I was trying to get at with saying I'm not referring to manipulative jerks - the kind you find on r/niceguys. Because they aren't nice. Yeah, that's not how life works. And that's fucked up, which is my point, and goes to show that yes, nice guys often do finish last, even though that statement has been given a bad reputation by places like r/niceguys. Being nice, carrying and loving is an inherently good quality, that we want to see in people. So when it gives you a disadvantage while dating, giving the advantage to the abusive asshole, then you start wondering what the hell is wrong with the world (among many other things). I try to be my best self - regardless of the whole dating thing - because I find it important to be someone with a strong moral compass, who cares for people. We already have enough selfish assholes on this planet and I refuse to be one, even if that does negatively affect other parts of my life. But man, does it get frustrating. And how does that mean "I'm doing it wrong"? I've lived abuse. I know how horrific it is. Why would it not be being my best self to help other abuse victims get out of their abusive situations and help them improve their lives when I can?

 

Trigger warning: abuse, suicide First off, I'm not taking about guys who call themselves nice and act like manipulative jerks. I'm talking about people who are legitimately nice, caring and loving. As such, this doesn't only apply to men. Storytime: a good number of years ago, I got to know someone who I not too long after started a relationship with. She was loving, kind, and caring - really, what I look for when it comes to relationship material. Except... She still lived at home, and her "mother" was horrifically abusive. Unfortunately, also very intelligent, so that she was always a couple of steps ahead of you. Well, she also got abusive towards me very quickly but was such a master of manipulation and Gaslighting that I had no clue what the fuck was going on. I also didn't know how abuse worked, so I was ripe for the picking. A year and a horrific half later, I got "kicked out" (in other words, my then girlfriend was gaslit into projecting all of the faults of her own mother onto me leading to a messy breakup) because I started asking too many questions and didn't simply accept what I was being told, including that I allegedly had memory problems (which turned out to be pure and utter bullshit to gaslight me). So, I finished last, I lost the person who I thought was going to be the love of my life and I was ready to marry eventually. You know who also finished last? The women who would have liked to been with her father, who is a great guy. The likelihood that any one of them could have been worse than her is exceedingly small. You have to achieve that kind of evil first. My ex? Still living at her parents' place. Word made it around that my ex's and her father's cars at some point regularly had nails and screws under their tires, which mysteriously stopped when one of the father's friends told him "you know exactly who did that if you're honest with yourself". Well, I did a shit ton of reading on psychology and abuse to understand what the hell I went through. And also in the hopes of helping them, but as mentioned, it didn't work. But the fact that I know so much about it, have experienced it myself and tend to try and listen to people when they tell me about their situations means that I seem to be a magnet for victims of abuse. I always try to help. I know how awful my situation was and if I can help someone out of a similar situation, I will do what I can. But it's often frustrating. But I actually was able to help someone out of an abusive situation. After a suicide attempt due to the effects of the abuse I landed in the hospital, and got to know someone there fairly well. She was also in an abusive situation. And I actually was able to help her out of it! Mind you, it was after I had lost count of her suicide attempts, but hey, you take the victories you get. So hey, at least in that situation it wasn't as bad... But fast forward to the last few months. A colleague I've known for a little over a year and a half tells me more and more about her friend with benefits. She tells me almost right from the start, that it's a toxic relationship. I hoped it's not that bad. After a couple of tell tale signs too many, yup, it's abuse. Long story short, we also started developing feelings for each other and were hoping to help each other through what we were dealing with. Well, the fwb made sure to fuck it up. She even said, otherwise, she's an afterthought for him (even though he expects to be at the top of her priority list), but in a case where he might lose her, he will fight for her. When I asked how, she described exactly what he did in my case. But still doesn't see that he did it in my case. And now the feelings she told me about apparently weren't feelings but something else, and he's suddenly not as bad and besides the constant manipulation and if you ask me rapey behavior, he's actually quite OK... Like don't get me wrong, my primary concern is that she gets out of that situation, which doesn't look particularly likely at the moment, but to get back to the topic, yet another case of the nice guy finished last. Rant over. TL;DR: fuck abusers and the people who enable them. And why the fuck are they often more successful than the people who don't abuse people.