too_high_for_this

What? .42% BAC = 4.2% promille, over five times the legal limit and potentially fatal.

Fitting

WHARRGARBL

Oh shit, we need an Uncle Jokes community

I recently came into a lot of money.

The bank wouldn't take it, said I'd have to rinse it off first

Do you think JD understands

I'mma stop you right there and say no

Feeble? But I think you meant futile? Idk.

I was curious about the author so I googled him and his story is wild.

Arrested for armed robbery at 18. Did ten years in state prison where he started writing for a prisoners' rights newsletter. After release in 1999, he became a prominent activist, even advising the Bernie Sanders campaign in 2015.

Then he was caught breaking in to a prison that was under construction and hiding guns and tools in the walls, doing $250,000 worth of damage. He claims they were for his own use, to prevent being raped if he is sent to prison again. Cops also found assault rifles, body armor, and a grenade launcher in his home.

So now he's doing 40 years for felony vandalism.

Oh, and he has articles about throwing poop and farting etiquette

That's absolutely not true. It's a clever backronym, but not the origin of the term.

That's only 70~~0~~ hats. Multiply by 100.

FTFY

You could do crawfish, they're just tiny little lobsters

https://www.msnbc.com/deadline-white-house/deadline-legal-blog/vance-boelter-second-degree-murder-charges-first-degree-rcna213216

On Monday, the Hennepin County Attorney’s Office in Minnesota said it will seek first-degree murder charges against Vance Boelter, noting that it is common practice for the office to initially charge second-degree murder to secure a warrant as quickly as possible, as it did in this case.