stinky

"I want x from you"

"No, I don't want to give you x"

"Argument"

The specifics of x (in this case, buying something for someone else) aren't relevant. Saying that the person who demands x is caring and the person who wants to keep it is belittling their good nature doesn't make any sense and I doubt I'll ever understand your quality of thinking but thanks for trying, I guess. 🫱

I don't get to act on presumed intent, I get to act on present behavior. We'd all be a mess if we were obligated to guess what everyone else wanted. And the behavior was, "I want to buy something for you" --> my agreement --> "that's not enough for me, give me more". Notice that waste never came into the discussion, even after the conversation ended with me cancelling the purchase of the products, which you could have intuited meant there would be no waste

Why "should" I have offered more detail, when I didn't care about the details? I was already caving and giving her something she wanted, something that directly conflicted with what I wanted. And I did it politely. I didn't "rant" until she asked for something more, after I already conceded. This isn't a gotcha. I'm asking for your input here. Why am I a jerk for not giving more, when I already caved?

I would disagree by saying that giving her what she wanted, even though I wanted the opposite, was kind. But thanks for your response.

I'm not lying and won't fall for your bait; you're trying to put me on the defensive and get me to offer more context by insulting me. Pound sand.

Thank you so much. People are so hurtful here. I appreciate the response, and I agree with you: "I'm helping" is an excuse that can be used to justify bad behavior, such as privacy violations (figuring out what someone else needs), forced compliance (give me something to make me happy or I'll argue at you) or short-term validation. It's a convenient flag to throw when someone gets hurt and you don't want to feel bad about it. I'm so tired.

I never said I was going to feed the item to my cat. I said I was giving my aunt an item so she would be satisfied. Does that make sense?

Why say yes? Because I didn't say what you would have said?

The reason I didn't say that was because she argued with me about both making separate trips. That's the disagreement. She was not satisfied with the idea of me "going later when I'm prepared" and fought me on it.

I didn't follow up because I was already pushed past my limit. My aunt and I disagreed because we both wanted a thing, and only one of us could have it. I caved and gave it to her, and she asked for more.

I got upset with a logical follow-up clarification question for the reason in my original post (lol): "I clearly don't care about those details; if I wanted something specific I would have told her that. The only reason I mentioned them was to appease her."

Goodness! That's a lot! Why do you think it's so severe?