stigsbandit34z

joined 5 years ago
[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

First off, I recognize that I’m super privileged and so many have it much worse than me

With that out of the way, I am absolutely miserable living in the United States and wish deeply that I could work a job that contributes something to the world and not one of many corporations competing with one another. It gets super fun when people just tell me “if I don’t like it here, I can just leave.” LMAO I fucking wish it was that easy

My hottest take possible, but perhaps the “developing world” is still developing for a reason. You know how dogs and cats live like 20 years max if they’re lucky? Maybe our obsession with endless growth and development is contrary to how humans were meant to live. People say I shouldn’t complain because life expectancy is at an all time high or whatever but what fucking good is that when the majority struggles to fucking live.

Since corporations are people now, we are witnessing what would’ve happened had the Russian Revolution never happened. For the longest time I thought, “Sure, I’m just extremely online. If I go outside things will be different/better.” But as it turns out, most of us are online to distract from the horrors of the outside world. Everything, be it structures or people, has been completely captured by capital. And how does it continue to get worse? Because with infinite growth comes infinite problems

[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Mental health and material conditions go hand in hand comrade

[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Instagram is a close second

[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This probably sounds obscene, but there is this one 9-5 influencer who I would truly like to see be forced to do hard labor

And yeah, 9-5 influencer is a fucking thing now

[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

Fun fact: My chronic illness medication originally cost 6000 dollars. They had a co-pay assistance program which ended when a generic version of that same medication.

Aaaaand the generic medication was 2000 as opposed to 6000.

amerikkka

[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

No longer can anyone question how people could have allowed the third reich to exist

[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

An instagram account that reveals the Maoism in me

https://www.instagram.com/corporatedudes

[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

God he was so right about the Industrial Revolution though. I see it more and more every day

[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

God fucking damnit

Apparently there’s a streamer making waves right now who is clearly neurodivergent, but telling everyone he’s just playing a character (my brother in Christ that is called masking). Now people are like “phew he’s normal, I thought he was weird”

From the bottom of my heart, fuck this guy so much. Way to continue the cycle of bigotry you piece of shit

[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

Sounds like a godawful algorithm. lol no wonder they want to ban tik tok so bad

[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just recently logged in after like 5 years probably and I’m getting all kinds of unsettling AI shit I didn’t even follow. Did my account get hacked?

[–] stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net 37 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

a-guy you fascist rotting piece of shit why couldn’t you have not been a belligerent racist and xenophobe

 

I call myself “ostensibly cishet” because I look very much like a straight man, but I certainly don’t feel like a man and live in an area where my life would be destroyed if I referred to myself as something else

My use of language in the above sucks, but as a kid, I would always hang out at “the girls table” or in “the girls section” because the guys would always pick on me. It’s made life super difficult because when I meet a friend who is a woman now and ask them to hangout, their assumption is always that I want a partnership.

I literally only have one female friend who isn’t like this. It’s gotta be the fucking patriarchy right

Anyways, it’s so fucking lonely.

Why are apps only for people looking to fuck/get into relationships :/

 

I’ve said for the longest time that it’s like being a prisoner in my own head because I have so much emotional retention. Only now am I beginning to discover that is because of years of being afraid to express how some of that stuff made me feel. Because most “men” or whatever would toughen up and not let it bother them. So I can’t tell if it’s toxic masculinity which traumatized me or autism. Maybe a little of column A and a little of column B

But as an adult, I am inherently people-pleasing, struggle with decisions, have extremely low self-confidence and act like I don’t even exist, etc

 

I recuse myself from any epistemological claims about any super human entities controlling the universe, but Jesus has been wielded as as tool of the ruling class. When you use Jesus and behave exactly like the devil, the word Jesus is going to win out every time

I’m sure the same applies to every prophet ever. Again, claim what you want about a God, but that’s personally a question I’d worry about after dealing with how to allocate resources in what we know as the natural world.

Like, damn. Haven’t there been a lot of Jesuses throughout history? This seems almost too obvious to point out, but back in my edgy atheist era, I noticed how most people were just as focused on getting people to not believe in something as religious people are to convert people

Quick aside-I’m getting older and whatever and it seems like I’m noticing more stuff, and centrists are the equivalent of my stance on the non-physical world but for everything causing detriment to people in the real world. Silly billy stuff if you ask me

 

Lmao it’s so fucking ironic agony-shivering

This exact same situation I’m facing is one which is source of everything

I tried to share what I’ve discovered with a family member, they say I’m overreacting and “not that special.” Then I share something with someone (historically the only other irl person I know) to establish the slightest sense of trust as a last resort , they thank me for sharing it with them and we continue to talk about it a bit more. And then I feel like shit because I may have unintentionally traumatized them and they’re too nice to admit it. Goes back to the lifelong idea of not knowing “how much to share.” So you shut yourself away, ending in the most precarious feedback loop imaginable

I’m literally Charlie from flowers for algernon. “You mean I get to decide?” I have no idea how Daniel Keyes so brilliantly captured the essence of and gave meaning to all of the thoughts in all of my adolescent notebooks, but fucking bravo to him.

 

1.) Upon deep reflection, many of the words defined one way in the dictionary mean something entirely different in real life

2.) The DSM criteria for autism is fucking shit and should be rewritten

3.) I’m usually silent in whatever social situation I’m in or stick to very “safe” words because there are sooooooo many ways to express the same thing and my brain can’t decide which details to focus on

4.) I’m learning it’s OK to have needs even if they’re quirky and jumping from thing to thing to thing is what I do sometimes (even to momentarily distract myself from something scary which I need to work on).

5.) Emotion words are very hard and something I will probably be working on for the rest of my life

Maybe this’ll help someone :)

 

Godamn it pains me. I’m convinced that all of my irl friendships/relationships always fizzle out because I’m stale beyond words and am just so fucking dry. I have some friends who I’ve only heard laugh a handful of times, and it probably wasn’t even because of me. And if it was, it was surely because I did something awkward/socially taboo

 

Haven’t been diagnosed with anything, probs autistic or something considering how much I resonate with this comm BUT I can very easily get myself in and out of “the zone” with enough mental energy. As a result, kinda makes it hard to determine what my actual interests are. Ofc there’s a people pleaser angle to it all, but there’s also the the side where I just like learning new shit, keeping it in my brain for a few seconds and moving on to the next thing 🥴

 

When mine gets really bad, it’ll feel like a slow buildup of tension that is quickly released without my control. Almost like an attack. In the past, it’s actually felt like a shock as well.

But it sounds like NT people I’ve talked with don’t see it like that 🤔 and frankly neither does the internet at large 🥴

 

Have any of y’all ever had the experience where you once went on dates and felt something but now you can’t look at anyone in a romantic way? Is it just emotional unavailability or something similar?

It almost scares me because I can’t make sense of it and it makes me felt super left out. Godamn I’m so bad with describing feelings

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submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by stigsbandit34z@hexbear.net to c/videos@hexbear.net
 

Y’all this is super good especially if you were one of the weirdos on the ytp side of YouTube in the mid 2000s

 

Let me first say that I recognize the fact that this sounds super privileged and I am speaking from my own experiences with the all of the tools I have at my disposal in mind.

I don’t have many real life friends, but when I do hang out with them, it seems like all of our conversations eventually come back to some societal critique (often at the most granular level). Sorta like never ending, conversations popular in academia without really understanding the minutia of said conversations. Comes off “pretentious” to a lot of people unfortunately :/ we all hate hate hate our 9-5s (like everyone I suppose) but I think I’m personally reaching a critical point where I’m starting to value something other than the salary. And the nail in the fucking coffin is that I think that this makes up the majority of my anxiety.

Lol my good friends and I will usually clear out a room by boring ostensibly neurotypical people with our very silly little conversations, but I feel like academia would be where the people who wouldn’t leave would congregate. And this probably sounds a little hyperbolic because we certainly talk about other shit too (lol we can’t not at times), but this is certainly our sports if we’re comparing popular topics of discussion

 

Ngl, I kinda hate when people say “online is not real life.” I mean, technically that’s correct, but liberals said that to argue against Bernie’s popularity in 2016/2020 while conveniently ignoring that the reasons for his non-election stemmed from an electoral system designed to protect against the will of the people.

But am I incorrect in assuming that since the ubiquitous internet is fairly new, we don’t have enough information to determine whether normalizing bigotry and the most horrific shit imaginable under the guise of free speech, we probably shouldn’t run that risk? Obviously people don’t say this shit irl because they’d get clapped (and they do).

But what do y’all think? Is this like a super niche field of sociology? It’s fascinating to me, I’m curious if the medium changes that in any noticeable way

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