shittydwarf

It's been a few years since I worked in the field so the virtual three-way is a little bit more advanced than I'm used to. But yes I was suggesting a continuity test. One way to do it is that if the boxes are grounded you can test continuity to ground by touching the wire to the box on one side, and then using a meter check to see which wire has continuity to ground on the other side. Power off both circuits before grounding any conductors

It's a little hard to imagine without a diagram like the other poster mentioned. But what might be happening is that the 'travellers' (What you were calling the two neutrals) feeding each switch may have been mixed up. Try swapping two of them, or if you're confident using a meter check that the two travellers for each switch are attached to the corresponding switch on the other side

Wait until you find out what their leader was doing..

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