s0larfl4re

!russiandelight@sh.itjust.works

hi

hi

hi

!hihihi@sh.itjust.works

my ex, alex (21m) is constantly venting to me (22m). he's really depressed and refuses to do anything to get help or help himself and he's convinced nothing will help or get better and he doesn't care about anything anymore.

i'm gay and he and i are both in our early 20s. hes addicted to gaming and barely wanted to talk to me. he got mad and "didn't wanna talk to me every day or 24/7" but then he said he was sorry for saying that.

i recently broke up with him and i kind of miss him because in retrospect, our relationship may have actually been healthy. sure, we didn't have the same interests and such, and he wanted me to pay attention to his but rarely did to mine, but what if he was actually a really good boyfriend?

he did say he never loved me when we broke up, but he could have just been mad. he even apologized but i blocked him. i'm trying to get over him but i do wonder if he was actually a great guy and not just a great friend, but a great boyfriend too. we get mad sometimes, after all. all of us.

and i didn't text him 24/7 like he said nor every day but he would be playing games or leaving me on read anyway and barely speaking. once he said I could speak to him every day, I did, and he barely talked to me and said he didn't know what to talk about.

but he always had a good word for everyone, still does considering we just broke up :)

please, i'm going through a tough time so no criticism/attacking against me or anyone, i'm not in the mood or ready for it yet, i just need comfort.

i’m gonna try doing better now, he and i broke up after all of the stuff that went on. idk, he told me he never loved me when we broke up and that he “already moved on” but on his alt that i blocked he was all “wait im sorry!!”. i told him that it will take some time for me to move on and forgive his actions, if they need to be forgiven.

he never had anything to say when we talked and i always had to start the conversation. whenever we chatted and i liked something, we would just be like “cool”, “cool.” Or “K cool”

Not even “Cool!” Or “Cool :)” idk

he expected me to do stuff for him but would never wanna do stuff I wanted. he likes Fortnite, I don't. he wants me to play it. I like minecraft? so does he. he says he doesn't have time to play it, that's fine. he likes instagram? I'm fine with it, we send each other videos. he wants me to watch them but never wants to watch mine, or says he will later but doesn't (like procrastinating but I guess that was fine and a petty thing to be sad over)

anyway, he's my ex now

so I (22m) am a gay (possibly bi?) trans man. after a while of questioning my gender and being gender-fluid, I decided I was still gender-fluid but primarily transmasc/male.

at 17, I didn't really talk to my crush, but I really liked this dude Alex. I was a senior, and i graduated not really talking to him.

by the time i was 19(f), I contacted him again as I met him through a friend. i didn't tell him I liked him. besides, I liked someone else by then.

alex had a girlfriend already anyway.

he broke up with her about a year and a half ago, and while I started to catch feelings for him, I decided to give him some space. after about 6 months, he asked me out and I said yes.

now, some things put me off, like how Alex still identifies (identified?) as straight despite me now being male. he's working on it, though.

he showed a lack of interest in my hobbies but expected me to play games like Fortnite with him even when I told him I didn't like it.

we both like Minecraft, but he doesn't have time to play that, he says, and I respect that.

he expected me to look at his tiktoks and instagram reels but would say "I'll do it later" when I sent him some of mine.

but he's getting better.

he used to be a bit hurtful and dry when he was stressed, sometimes he would blame me for things or would just be plain dry. but we took a break, so that's good.

he also once said that straight people are "normal" and gay people are less normal but still "better" than lesbians, who are "boring". he is still coming to terms with liking me, a trans guy who recently came out as primarily masc. he apologized for the way he said it, though.

plus, even though I was hurt, we sometimes get stressed or depressed and hurt even the ones we love. I'm glad we could work things out. know that if you're going through similar stuff, you can work things out too if it's meant to be <3

when replying that way in any way, on text or actually just saying "cool". my friends say cool a lot and I really don't mind it and my partner says it too but some people have thought it was rude and I had a friend say "that's what I say when I don't give a damn".

“I like you but I don’t think I can deal with this anymore. I really don’t like talking to people and I can’t commit. I’m sorry. I’m not going to break up with you, I just don’t like talking. I like you, but you wear me out.”

But then he still says he loves me and that I’m the only one for him and that no one can take me away from him? i don’t get it?

he hurts me all the time, it’s like the song tainted love says “Sometimes I feel I've got to

Run away I've got to

Get away

From the pain you drive into the heart of me

The love we share

Seems to go nowhere

And I've lost my light

For I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night” and “i love you though you hurt me so”

I asked if my bf still had feelings for me and he answered with “sure lol”.

he has been pretty dry lately but says he doesn’t know why. just earlier i talked to him but he gave short responses, though he may be busy idk.

“how are you?”

“Busy.”

“oh ok, whatcha doing?”

“Was busy. Nothing.”

“are you available to talk?”

“Ok.”

“what’s wrong, you seem pretty dry.”

“Nothing.”

Update, my bf (21m) i (22m) talked to, and he just said “i dunno 🤷‍♂️” the whole time i spoke to him about our interests and such. and i told him i didn’t feel heard (he said ok) and “i dunno” every time i said anything he just said “i dunno”. and then i asked if he liked my interests and he didn’t know.

And then he said he seriously didn’t know and that he was sorry to make me feel that way, but that he was conflicted.

and i asked him if he wanted to hang out sometime and do our own thing and he said “idk maybe 🤷‍♂️”

i’m 22, gay trans man. my boyfriend is 21, cis man. he said women, specifically lesbians are boring and that he prefers men, specifically gay guys but not straight.

how are lesbians boring?? I don’t get it. is it because gay guys like men and lesbians don’t? i’m trying to understand, sorry 😭