protist

joined 2 years ago
[–] protist@mander.xyz 14 points 1 year ago (19 children)

But when I finally get someone to respond to me, my reaction is first a little bit of excitement, but then I get annoyed at having to chat with someone I just met all the time. So I unfortunately act like a dickhole by then ghosting them soon after. Even if I manage enough stamina to chat back and forth for a week or so, it always just ends up tiring and a bother to me.

I'm not one to tell somebody they shouldn't feel annoyed, or tired, or bothered, but it sounds like you're not satisfied with how things are going for you, and I've italicized three things above you should take a hard look at if you're interested in any kind of change.

Recognize that you don't have to feel annoyed. Feeling annoyed or bothered is often what we feel if we have fears, anxieties, or expectations that aren't being met, and you can actually learn to let all of that go and just be present in the moment, if you want to.

Also, you identified yourself that you "act like a dickhole," so stop it!

Try to meet people irl. There are lots and lots of people. Try to let your barriers down, meaning approach people with no expectations, no judgment, and unconditional positive regard. Ask people questions about themselves. You'll be flabbergasted how easily you can make connections if you do these things.

[–] protist@mander.xyz 1 points 1 year ago

People still totally meet and have success on dating sites. A friend of mine and his wife separated about a year ago, a few months ago he got on Bumble, went on some dates, and met someone he's now getting serious with.

[–] protist@mander.xyz 5 points 1 year ago

What you're describing is "interpersonal effectiveness." You may already be familiar with DBT, as it sounds like you've already been working on emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and mindfulness. Interpersonal effectiveness is the 4th core component of DBT, teaching skills around setting appropriate boundaries and assertive communication.

There are a ton of interpersonal effectiveness worksheets online if you're interested in self-study. Here's an example, including the famous "DEAR MAN" skill. You might also just go straight for Marsha Linehan's DBT skills book, which has all the official worksheets.

[–] protist@mander.xyz 35 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'd urge you to take a step back and recognize you're talking about 30 days that you postponed your transition, which is miniscule in the scope of a lifetime, and during those 30 days you did something incredibly productive that will positively impact the rest of your life. Be patient with yourself, and consider that this isn't an "either/or" scenario. You didn't trade studying for happiness, you can still find happiness.

Time that I spent preparing for exam now feels wasted because I didn't get any gender euphoria during that time.

Please don't set your expectations up to expect "gender euphoria." What you're working toward is not feeling dysphoric, or what we call in mental health "euthymia," aka "a normal, tranquil mental state or mood." Don't expect euphoria

[–] protist@mander.xyz 16 points 1 year ago

"We’re going to come after the people in the media who lied about American citizens who helped Joe Biden rig presidential elections,” Patel said in a recent interview with Steve Bannon, referring to the 2020 presidential election. “We’re going to come after you, whether it’s criminally or civilly. We’ll figure that out. But yeah, we’re putting you all on notice."

Lmao "we don't know what you did, or how you did it, or how we'll hold you accountable, but now you're on notice!!"

[–] protist@mander.xyz 15 points 1 year ago

That can be taken as he's against all that stuff

Is today opposite day?

In what reading could you possibly take this that way

[–] protist@mander.xyz 0 points 1 year ago

You think OP has a lot more power than they actually do if you're attributing their actions to perpetuating the Palestinian genocide...

[–] protist@mander.xyz 8 points 1 year ago

The real estate is cheaper in many parts of Florida because the demand to live there is much lower than whichever part of Oregon you're coming from. The desirable parts of Florida are much more expensive. Anyway, enjoy the sunshine and hurricanes.

[–] protist@mander.xyz 5 points 1 year ago

The numbers that guy cited include federal income taxes and Medicare/SS taxes

[–] protist@mander.xyz 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Again, you're saying you're going to save $1K a month in income taxes, but that doesn't account for the 6% sales tax you're going to be paying on everything you buy, or the higher property taxes.

The cost of living in FL is going to vary dramatically depending on where you go, there are many areas that are even more expensive than anywhere in Oregon. Also, you're going to struggle to find homeowners insurance and will be at high risk of catastrophic weather, which costs money to repair/replace your home and vehicle. And honestly the culture is awful in many of the parts of FL I've been to

[–] protist@mander.xyz 10 points 1 year ago (5 children)

The map I shared is the total average state and local tax burden by state, accounting for all forms of taxes. My point is the total tax burdens in Florida and Texas are only marginally lower than Oregon, so if you move to Florida, you're going to discover you really aren't going to save much money in the end, because you're not Jeff Bezos liquidating $50 million in stock on a whim

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