While this is all of course incredibly stupid and incredibly reprehensible, I also have to point out the author's disrespect:
one of the greatest basketball players in history
One of? Jordan is the undisputed greatest of all time and Kareem is the only one who's even near his level, but it's not really arguable between them.
Also it isn't funny. Not in the "boo hoo that's NOT FUNNY!" crybaby sense, but in the "99.999% of all standup comedy" sense. I've heard that in Foreign Lands you can't pull a prank once the clock strikes noon, or else you are the April fool and presumably get put in a stock and pillory till sundown.
V is easily the weakest TOS movie but it at least still has interesting ideas attempted in it, unlike the completely null achievements of the Next Gen movies. It's the sixth-best Star Trek movie by a country mile.
"And they're almost all brown, right? Can we do better than just 1.2?"
Who wouldn't want to spend money on a physical reminder of Star Trek's equivalent of The Phantom Menace?
Inb4 people come here to defend their self-righteousness. No, nephews. You made a stupid choice for stupid reasons, and it's time to accept your core values are obnoxious and self-centered, and then shape up.
Which is really reprehensible, because if you're going to kill someone, you need to look them in the eye as you dart past the swing of their knife and plunge your own into their chest behind the truck stop where my greyhound was refueling on that rainy night in 1991
Fake news. The rover stumbled upon a Martian bathhouse and the government is censoring all of the gay alien (or gaylien, if you will) sex. Each black rectangle is covering up the truth about Mars: that there is life there, that it's intelligent life, that they live in a harmony beyond our understanding with what we ignorantly call a barren planet, that their thighs are quivering, that their buttholes are gaped, and that their cocks are hard and pulsating. There are rivers of jizz that we're being cut off from for no good reason.
You need to understand that from now on, every time you see a black rectangle in an offworld photograph, there is penetration, and there is an actively progressing prostate orgasm happening as a result. You need to think about this every single time. It matters.
I just wanted to let you know I got it right away without trying, but I'm also a highly exceptional person, so there's still no telling. I have nothing more to add.
That's grinding on hard cocks, not waking up at 4:00 AM to run your dropshipping business and deadlift.
Are they trying to look scared shitless to undermine the whole farce, or do they actively want to create a martyr? Those are the only two options that don't require a room temperature IQ.