nimpnin

I elaborate in another comment. But I think psychedelics are not good for a certain percentage of the population, myself included. Of course set and setting affects the odds of a bad trip, they were bad in my case as well.

I just got so many panic attacks during my trip. Of course, I didn't understand what they were but thought I had lost my mind for good instead. Time stopped, I couldn't think straight, couldn't calm myself down, at times I couldn't parse other people's speech and everything was just damn scary the whole time. And felt like an eternity.

After the trip, I was afraid of anything I deemed "not normal" for months. I got scared by my vision going black when blinking, the occasinal weird joke someone would make, bird noises in the winter, awkward social situations, anything you could imagine being "not normal". Now after ten years, I occasionally get that when something peculiar happens, but it's not a constant thing as it used to be. Maybe once a day I get "half triggered" by something but usually I can calm myself down.

I think the whole bad trip was caused by me being generally prone to getting panic attacks (which I hadn't even realized yet), and bad set and setting. Dark outside, with friends that I didn't fully trust.

For me my bad trip basically gave me ptsd ten years ago. I was prone to getting panic attacks though.

Se että se on kaupan intresseissä ei tarkoita että a) ihmiset toimisivat sen mukaisesti b) data jolla automaattisesti toimivat algoritmit toimivat olisi vinoumatonta

When exactly?

Fuck the big three, it’s just big me

Try being a little less stupid then

All kinds of medical regulation, financing etc. could lead to differences like this.

Is your brain unable to comprehend what I mean by ”at the office”?

I am not unconvinved that you actually do spend an insane amount of time at the office.

I am also convinved that you could be 50%+ more efficient if you just cut corners where you needed to. And also, not on the brink of a mental breakdown.

90 hours a week math? Sounds unrealistic, reminds me of somebody at the faculty who said he would spend similar hours at the office during his phd. He also said it was out of guilt and the extra work didn’t really amount to anything due to fatigue.

To me it sounds like you should first address whatever mental issues you have going on.

How broadly do you dislike programming? Data science kinda stuff could work for you if the main focus is on modleing and understading data, even if that means actually implementing the models and the algorthms by programming.