neudke

where's the beef

i just ate one normally actually i promise. i don't want people to think i'm a freak or something (about fruit)

alternating

happy birthday whitey ford

thank you for your service filling in the blanks excellent work. my neighbor handed me figs from over the fence today and it's just as you say. times are rough and i have physical needs

howdy

i can't wear socks to bed because they feel so constraining i also can't have covers over my feet for the same reason i never realized my toes are also rubbing up against each other all night and i am really grateful to this internet person for giving me the natural next step in having the ultimate stimulus-free sleep

i use a sippy cup now to avoid this problem altogether even though i'm still horny for hydration

my favorite is those cups with the glitter in them when you're taking a particularly aggressive sip from one and it cracks and spills into you and you now have sparkly lips and a few days later a rare poop