So, typically you use an rss reader of some sort, that fetches the content for you at a regular interval. I use LiFeRea, but there are other free ones. The websites are typically not free because they have to pay for all that bandwidth. I would look into Free/Open Source Software rss readers, you're likely to find something thats functional, free, and doesn't insert ads into your feed.
As I understand it, usernames are handled on a per-instance basis. Your full username is @spiffyhippo@lemmy.ml.
Do you have tls enabled? AFAIK it's mandatory for federation.
[edit] I'm dumb and didn't read your post. Ignore me.
You're probably best off submitting an issue on github, but note that depending on how you have SMTP configured and how you're sending mail- you may be having issues with your hosting provider, mine blocks the SMTP ports. I'm currently working to get mail set up, but its very difficult. I'll keep you posted.