moonlake

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.

literally me

except there's like two figs on my tree

the latest ep is a banger, they went to a rally

Google won't stop the psychological warfare until everybody is that guy from Black Mirror sitting in a cell surrounded by screens with unblockable ads

Yo can we get the :gigachadette: emoji

The Lord doesn't have a great policy track record tbh.

First he created all humans in his own image and then decided that he doesn't like them, which is a huge self-own. He then killed them in a huge flood which is basically the first genocide.

When people tried to unionize and build the tower of Babylon, he mixed up their languages so that they can't communicate with each other (common union busting tactic).

I don't think this guy should choose our philosopher-monarch

2.5 seconds is the limit for looking at people before it becomes harassment

pulling up the timer app every time somebody glances at me

It's already so hot outside

I fucking hate summer

indie folk heads stay winning

I like to have at least 3 layers of dissociation between myself and reality at all times

ooops wrong mega

The plot of the Mad Max video game is that you're just trying to reach a place called the Plains of Silence. You're not trying to save the world or anything, you're just a dude trying to run away from his feelings. 10/10 extremely relatable

I don't want to be mean to the computer