milicent_bystandr

Hi gamers of Lemmy. Lemm.ee is ending, and perhaps I'll start a new account on another server, but I wanted to write this before I go - as a sort of Swan Song, as it were.

I'm a fairly long time gamer, right back from Repton and Chuckie Egg, through Civ, Lemmings, Myst, Age of Empires, Wesnoth, Skyrim, Endless Sky and, most recently, Baldur's Gate 3. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome - not as badly as some, but nightmare enough, and sprinkled with some measure of ADHD and Autism: so, besides being a lot of fun, the games have helped me as the way I can switch off, zone out from the pain of my body and the restlessness of life, and actually get some rest... of sorts.

But the last year or so I've been realising they're causing me problem too. Not something I wanted to admit! So this is the story of me ending my gaming addiction. The concept will be unpopular here I guess, but I hope it will help some. It was, after all, many posts (mostly on Reddit) from people coming off other addictions that really helped me see parallels with how games are to me.

So as not to be too boring, let me retell in bullet points.

• Games are essential for getting... I call it 'emotional energy' back. And physical energy too, else I might just be pacing and thinking, unable to stop.
• But, especially as I got a bit older, tiring on my eyes, and mentally. Also more physically tiring than if I could (if ever I could!) just lie back and rest.
• I've discovered that more of the 'rejuvenation' I'd get is an illusion too. The gaming blots out the stress (yet sometimes makes its own far worse!) but really I'd be more restless after, than if I'd managed to let go without the games.
• But again, I can't let go without the games! So I gave up trying - until realising how much my 'need' for games follows the addictive patterns, so (uncomfortably) I started to wonder...

I also realise I'm giving a lot of time to games that, if only I could manage my time better I could give to much more worthwhile things, like helping people out in the world. So a month ago a few life circumstances came together, and I've signed up for a new education course. Rather than cope with all the new stresses of that at the same time as possible gaming withdrawal symptoms, I figured I'd give up the games completely, a month early. (And doomscrolling too, but that's proving harder... proving it's also addictive to me more than I wanted to admit!)

• I weaned off for a few weeks, unintentionally, and just recently started fully.
• Sometimes it's awful not being able to relax with a game (or five... or ten... or even one) after a particularly hard few days. But even then I might be making life harder out the other side, besides interrupting the detox.
• I've found I have more energy. I'm a kinder, more helpful person, especially partner and father, because though I'm still so tired, there's time opening up where I didn't think I had energy, but without the games soaking up the dregs there's some left.
• In fact, I can apply more energy than I thought I had, without burning out, though it hurts sometimes. Turns out the games frequently exacerbated burn out before relieving it.
• And I'm more emotionally reliable. Just on occasion, boy am I grumpy if I needed a rest but I'm interrupted from a game, especially if I was losing! Now I'm safer to approach. (I'd like not to be interrupted even so! But especially I'd like not to snap at people if I am.)

I really don't want to be against games. Especially when I was blamed so much - unjustly, I think; explicitly and implicitly - when I was younger for gaming. But having had this experience, which looks set to be a key part of a huge changearound in my life, I hope for some of you it might help too.

To close, my greatest trick.

• I lie back in my bed, and tell myself, "I don't need the dopamine hit."
• Often enough now, it works. I relax. Quite often I even fall asleep, which I almost never used to be able to do in the daytime. Dull, I know. But afterwards it means I can do the things that really matter to me.
• The compulsion lets go. My head physically relaxes. Somehow, I don't really want the game any more - which I find quite disappointing, but I remind myself it's for something better. Either I sleep or, in a bit, I get up, and I do some work - when otherwise I'd have gamed a while, then found I need another rest, and finally decided that's enough work for one day and I'll try again tomorrow. (Chronic Fatigue is a beast! It still is.)

And (to double-close?) I find a similar mind-trick is helping me get going with work. (At least it feels similar in my head.) Somehow I can start a bit of work that I can't face; but I can sit down and relax and try, and it works much more than I'd have dared expected in the past.

• But not, I may add, with such reliable results if I've just had that one game first before getting started. Oh, I wish! But that's how it is

... for me. YMMV.

Regards,

An Innocent Bystander

Oh no, they don't seem to like each other any more...

I suppose this was to be expected after the divorce.

I came across a Reddit thread about someone using a neighbour's WiFi, and the (unknown) neighbour later changed the ssid to the user's gaming handle.

Lots of comments saying that public WiFi can be a trap, and a malicious actor can see all your packets, sniff your passwords, spoof login pages.... And not one refuting it with SSL.

Am I missing something?! Is a WiFi/LAN actually that dangerous? I thought pretty much every site and service uses SSL these days, and signed certificates so (unless you have a particular Lenovo or Dell model) DNS spoofing won't work.

And aren't most ports on your own computer closed by default now? Unless you've opened ssh or a samba share with a poor password or something?

I realise packets can still be sniffed, website use can be tracked (but not the data, not things like passwords). With more work, that could be correlated to, for instance, what time a user logs on to a discord server.

Have I missed something big? Is someone else's WiFi or LAN actually dangerous?

After first joining the Earth nation, then in the second episode allying with the Water nation, in this third episode of Avatar, Sully (no relation to the Monsters Inc hero) is under attack from the Fire nation.

The Sully family "are really put through the ringer" in the new film, Cameron said ... "They face not only the human invaders, but new adversaries - the Ash people,"

A long time ago, (on a server far, far away), I uploaded the Spring screenshot of my completed farm. It took me a long time to get round to the Summer, Autumn and Winter screenshots, even delaying updating to 1.6 to not change anything!

I'm very pleased with Ambridges farm. It's my first and only completed playthrough, and the final farm layout started life as a show of fish ponds, and developed to include just about everything that can be on the farm.

I'll put a few more notes in the comments.

Well, with the new .ee community, now seems a good time to get up an post my farm, all four seasons! I hope you like it :-)

(Edit: I just saw that files on Catbox can't be reached from a bunch of countries. Not sure if the Lemm.ee proxying gets around that? If someone could let me know, then I can try and find somewhere else to upload the images. Any suggestions for a good image host?)

I've been playing around with self hosting for file sharing, backups, and a handful of other ideas I might one day get round to. I like the idea of a mesh VPN and being able to, for example, connect a travelling laptop to a 'host' laptop nearby, though my only public ip is a VPS in another country.

Of all the options I found, I liked the look of Nebula most. Fiddly in some places, but it's working nicely for me, and I appreciate some of the simplicity of design.

I'm wondering if people here have much experience of it, though? My biggest concern is over its future. With,

1. The Defined Networking site focusing on making money off it, and
2. The Android app doesn't allow full configuration (including the firewall, so I can't host a website from a phone) but - I heard - does if you use Defined Networking's paid service for configuration,

makes me worry they might be essentially trying to deprecate viable FOSS Nebula in favour of a paid or controlled service.

Any thoughts? Insight?

So, I updated Tumbleweed, and the updates to KDE caused my Plasma/Wayland session to restart, breaking the updates part way through. I wasn't watching at the time so took some while to debug!

Spent some time learning how to use nm-cli, because new half-upgraded KDE wouldn't load the network widget. It looks like something else may have changed and mucked up in the half-update (and of course I rebooted like a wise-man/dummy/i-dont-know-but-at-least-it-didnt-make-it-work) but iterations of trying things in nmcli eventually worked!

Finally tried zypper dup again and saw the session restart, so finished the job from the virtual terminal! At last, I seem to have a working computer again, and I might just brave updating my main laptop. (I cancelled the update while it was still downloading packages, after seeing the breakage on the other laptop!)

I finally watched Frozen 2 on the plane a few days ago. Did somebody pay Disney to shill for homeopathy?

Hi I've been gradually finishing my first and only-main farm, and wanted to share :-) It started as the central plaza and fish ponds (since I came to love fishing!) and grew from there. I was going to get all-seasons screenshots and post together, but that's going soo slowly; and, hey, content!

Hope you like it! I think there's a little bit of just about everything there, and if you look closely you can see me sitting on a bench enjoying the flower garden. It's been single player until right at the end I added the 'guest lodges' to share with family and friends. I love how well they fit in places I hadn't planned!