madamarie

Im male born, but i dont feel particularly "male" so to speak: currently im non-binary bc i dont feel i belong to gender categories. Its just like im mentally in a gender-limbo and i think ive been in it my whole life, but its not concrete, as in sometimes i wish i was a girl (this happened also when i was a kid) but at the same time i feel like the categories of binary gender arent fit for me. Im just confused as in what i am. From the outside i think im generally seen as male but inside it's kinda like i don't care but i don't like to be in the gender binary but i wish i was more "girly". Can anyone relate?

i cant wrap my head around it

hello, funny image unrelated

12TET (12 tone equal temprament) is a system which divides the octave (eg. C3-C4) in 12 equal parts and it's the system used on many instruments, especially in western music. Maybe I'm getting bored of it bc of the fact that I've probably heard every possible combination of notes in this system. The thing i hate about it is how limiting it is, because in between even a semitone there's a world of possibilities and i wanna study and use microtones. The thing is guitars are caged in a 12 tone system, as many western instruments are. My point? I WANT A FRETLESS GUITAR/INSTRUMENT I WANNA DISCOVER MICROTONAL CHORD CHANGES bit of a rant

i think that'd be cool

yesterday i went to a concert of a friend of mine, then with some friends we went to his house for an afterparty. I had probably one of the most fun nights in my life (also bc we were all kinda ND). Then I went home, and all of it came crashing down: i was back in the place where i feel unwelcome, where im forced to live with my parents, who i came to hate throughout my life bc of how they give conditional love, have had many outbursts against me, fueled my meltdowns and punished me for them. Some days ago they found some weed in my room and my mom literally started talking to me as if i wasnt human, calling me a junkie and stuff. They never listen to me, when i talk about my feelings they always manage to either give useless advice or turn it personal and start a fight. For instance I've completely lost interest in uni bc they kept pushing me on the topic when i had major difficulties with it, and I'm considering dropping out bc i can't take it anymore. I can't move out bc I'm broke, if i don't finish uni I'll never be able to sustain myself outside of this fascist shithole called Italy, and i can't handle a job, let alone with uni. I feel trapped, and all i want to do is hibernate myself and forget about this world. I feel like I'm a mistake on this planet

i want to make alterations to a default seed minecraft world on a large scale (eliminating land, extend rivers, make mountain ranges, ecc...) for a mc world I've been working on for the last few years. In short, i want to make it a big island with mountains, valleys from an already generated world. Is there any mod or program that could make something like this? (i already have world edit but it's not enough for what i have in mind)

I didnt get hospitalized, though I saw my psychiatrist. She reccomended a therapy catered to my needs as a neurodivergent person (probably with the same who diagnosed me, hopefully). I cant say im happy but a little relieved by not having to be hospitalized

im fed up with everything. I decided to hospitalize myself bc i cant take it no more, im extremely exhausted from life. Im a burden to everyone, i deserve no other outcome

is there anyone particularly familiar with minecraft mods or map editing softwares. Im trying to customize a seed generated map to be an island and to modify certain details. Feel free to dm me as this post is not very in-theme with the community but i couldnt find a specific community for that which im looking for. Thanks in advance