Doesn't that go both ways though?
On one end you are programmed to accept gays,
On the other you are programmed to reject.
And before all that, you are programmed to understand the concept of gay.
It's all programming. Now that social programming happens so quickly and such large scale... Humans weren't meant to handle that much programming.
Now, some people, at some point, start to question all programming. Those are the most resilient to direct programming from others, and the most able to program themselves based on judgement of all the programming going on.
But for the rest it's just a frustrating mess of self inconsistencies.
Making something obviously shameful is to do so with reason. Telling people they are stupid and being manipulated is not people reacting by digging in, they are just responding to personal attacks. That falls to self-defense. Rational discussions about your own beliefs give others a chance to accept them. Trying to force them is just... Well... Facisim.