lapis

oh, you inject subQ into your thighs? is that fairly straightforward?

the nurse that trained me on self-injections said that lower abdomen was a better place to inject, but honestly I'm not liking injecting there (it's itchy for a bit after injecting, and oddly sore for a couple days), so I've been debating switching to thigh or ass (literally just for the meme of being able to say I'm injecting HRT straight into my ass).

on my 3rd injected dose of estradiol after switching from pills! I'm not sure if there's a noticeable difference yet, but I do feel that I'm more-or-less past the weird phase where the estradiol levels from the injections hadn't stacked enough to match the estradiol levels I had been getting from pills. and my 4th injection will be this Thursday!

on a related note, has anyone tried an autoinjector for E or T injections? I'm specifically considering this one from Union-Medico, as I've seen it recommended by trans people on reddit. I've noticed the hardest part of doing my own injections is getting past the fear of the initial jab, and this lil' device handily overcomes that by making it a simple button press – but for a whole $125, after conversion from EUR to USD, which is a bit steep.

and related to that, for my fellow transfems doing subcutaneous injections, do y'all jab at a 45º or 90º angle? and, if so, with what length of needle? I have 5/8" needles, and I'm wondering if those may be too long to go straight in at 90º...

Green Day gone WOKE

is that a motherfucking Dune reference?

what is it with randos dropping eagles right next to me no matter if they’re level 5 or 35? like my friends’ll do so occasionally, either by accident or as a joke, but my god it happens all the time with randos.

I feel that! a friend recently sent me some reels from somebody on instagram who’s so perfectly androgynous that I can’t tell if they’re AFAB or AMAB and it’s incredible, like that’s such goals.

oof, that’s somehow even worse; I’m sorry, comrade!

why does hair length even affect this, gender is a fucking psyop

I mean, for me in particular, it's partially loss of hair length and partially the fact I went for an aggressive side fade, which is either masc- or dyke-coded, depending how you look at it. but yeah it's bullshit that, like, long hair is feminine and short hair is masculine.

it's also worth noting that as an enby I don't particularly want to be read as a woman, but it's complicated bc, as a transfem enby, I'd absolutely rather be read as a woman than as a man. like if people are gonna misgender me I'd rather it be away from my AGAB, if that makes sense?

NNNNNOOOOOO BUT YOUR NATURAL HAIR IS SO PWETTY

yo literally same, comments since cut + dye have basically been a split between "yo that's fucking awesome" and "noooo your hair was so beautiful and full" – but like, the first option is mostly from fellow queers and the second is mostly from straights, which makes me feel vindicated as hell.

I listened to the first voice and I'm mostly happy with it. I definitely lost the instant femininity buff of mid-back-length hair, but also anyone reading my brightly colored hair and shullet as manly isn't worth my cares anyways.

plus it's pretty cool to have the haircut I picked as being fem-yet-dykish vindicated by Kristen Stewart having the same haircut in that new A24 lesbian movie, Love Lies Bleeding (which I'm definitely going to watch soon™).

but definitely do your own thing! sacrificing several years' growth for the sake of a crazy haircut is certainly a big choice; I just wanted to let you know it's possible to come out the other side and still feel pretty damn feminine.

Once the pieces started falling is when I slowly started to realize I was trans.

this is such a mood. what's funny is I thought I was bisexual and just weird about being a man for awhile, then I read the Gender Dysphoria Bible to try to understand my trans nephew better, and ended up muttering "oh, fuck me" about once or twice a paragraph as the realization that this shit applied to me was slowly dawning on me, and now I'm a non-binary transbian who's realized fae's not really interested in men at all.

But gods did my upbringing really fuck me up. I still have really bad thoughts that were kinda ingrained into my brain from my upbringing that I struggle to remove to this day. I shan’t repeat them here obviously, but I am very ashamed that they still exist.

if it makes you feel any better, you're absolutely not alone in this – it's not uncommon for me to have a profoundly incorrect dogma-addled negative internal reaction to something that's actually totally fine, or even good, and then have to put in effort to redirect my brain to not be a total asshole. it's a process, and I fucking hate it, but it's a process I'm glad to have undertaken rather than staying in the quagmire into which I was born and in which I could easily still be without kind people loving me and giving me space to figure out who I actually am.

y'all remember when pro gamers lost their shit over Aloy in HZD/HFW having fucking Vellus hair?

It also made me realize that a lot of my time spent before my egg cracked was influenced by the toxic masculinity that I grew up with.

this is so interesting, and something I've experienced as well, as an enby who very likely is on the autism spectrum. since the only way I knew to perform manhood was to emulate the men around me, and so many of them were toxically masculine and misogynistic, I would act toxically masculine and misogynistic in an effort to fit in as one of them. I'd actually say that unlearning the fake masculinity is part of what helped me come to terms with being cisn't, come to think of it.