lapis

Wild that your list is bookended by movies I still need to watch. Tokyo Godfathers is a yearly holiday rewatch for my partner and I, though, and Perfect Blue is excellent, of course.

~~I Wanna Be Your Girl comes to mind, although I have to admit it's still in my to-read list, so I can't personally vouch for its quality.~~

EDIT:

I'd love a link to that fic, if you ever come across it again.

I still remember how in the first days of federation

This is fair, I forget how... not good it was back then. But I think at this point it's reasonable to expect Hexbear users commenting outside Hexbear to realize pronoun display isn't a given.

And don't even get me started on the cesspool that's reddit.

I'm so, so glad I'm not there on the regular anymore – it's strictly for periodic research lookups nowadays, and I try to not even use it for that except when absolutely necessary.

It's honestly kinda mean to call it "ridiculous" when trans people in an environment like that overreact to something that, while unintended, is still objectively very hurtful from that person's perspective.

I think I'm just too compartmentalized to understand this. I don't really take psychic damage from people mis-assuming my gender, so long as they change tracks when I correct them. But will edit my phrasing to be less potentially-hurtful, my bad there.

I’ve literally seen both Hexbear and Blåhaj Lemmy users go straight to calling someone a transphobe because they didn’t see a user’s pronouns due to their Lemmy app or instance not showing pronouns by default (I actually only found one Lemmy app on iOS that even had a toggle for showing pronouns awhile back when I was picking a client, which is a shame).

Back when I was on reddit, I also saw a decent number of trans people complaining there about being referred to with they/them by somebody irl when their gendered pronouns had not been expressed in any way. Like I understand that degendering is a problem, and it’s harmful asf, but I don’t think it’s right to assume that anybody using a gender-neutral default pronoun set is degendering a person.

I generally default to they/them for anyone until they explicitly tell me their pronouns or somebody else who knows them uses specific pronouns for them. I personally think people shouldn't instantly jump to accusations of transphobia when another person defaults to gender neutral pronouns – the whole point is to not assume anyone’s gender until informed otherwise.

There isn't even a general gay community.

Honestly if we're talking about minorities having their own spaces it'd make more sense for Hexbear to have a c/straight.

Thanks! Your avi’s cute, too.

yes.