Just get a simple $30 bum-gun. The handheld sprayer that you hang on the side of the toilet.
Its variable pressure, so be careful. Talk about surprise enema. A vigorous one at that.
But its just quick and efficient, can't imagine life without it now.
Sooo... they are 99% certain it has slowed by 4% in 40 years of measuring?
This article seems off. Very off.