Aro/ace are valid and are LGBTIA+. What I mean is, "ally" implies straight, and I'm not.
Gender is a spectrum, and I consider myself cis, even if there are others more cis than me. Most of my troubles with gender come from me feeling society is at fault for treating me differently because of my sex. I think most educated women express such opinions, and that doesn't make us enbies.
The main problem, as I see it, is not that her literal statements if made policy would be the most extreme in today's overton window. The problem is that she's made herself the face of transphobia by putting herself in the center of it. She's taken her preexisting fame and used it to push her (admittedly not extreme) transphobia. When people say "name a transphobe," they think of her -- and this was her clear intention.
Because she has fame and power, she probably does the most direct damage to trans people overall. More than Jordan Peterson, etc.