goose

It's difficult for me to articulate a thought about this because it has obliterated a large percentage of my neurons BUT I think what takes it from bad to "I hate this and the world that produced it" is the "TRUMP IS USING HITLER'S LANGUAGE" bit as if the people who made it thought "Hey we can use this as actual outreach to reinforce Biden's messaging" because why else would you put that in there, it's not a well known phrase or anything resembling even the most generously-defined contours of an attempt at humor

I think this might have been given thoughtfully and with good intentions. ("I'll give him a bonsai tree; it'll a way to get a quick, low-stakes win every day.") But it clearly missed the mark. That's just the way gift-giving goes sometimes.*

I'd thank him and either try the bonsai tree for a few days or dispose of it. Just don't keep it around for a long time out of a sense of obligation. The goal of giving a gift is to make the recipient happy, so if it doesn't make you happy, ditch it!

* and why gift-giving is incredibly stressful ahahahaha I hate it so much

"What happened? It must have been the endless shrimp!"

Meanwhile

A private equity firm bought the chain ten years ago from Darden Restaurants, which owns rivals Olive Garden and LongHorn Steakhouse. The firm, Golden Gate Capital, funded the deal partly by selling Red Lobster's real estate.

That meant the chain had to start paying rent. That's now a major financial factor in Red Lobster's bankruptcy filing, which asks the court to reject 108 leases, letting the company abandon those locations.

Actual governor and senator Rick Scott billed underneath Jack Prilosec and Lara Trump is funny. Gaetz is close to being relegated at the end of the season

These colors don’t bleed (except for red)

Time to rent out pineapples by the hour for portraits like we’re back in Victorian England

10,000 signature petition to have her navel exposed as god intended

Legislatures Hate This One Weird Trick

Don’t burn yourself out in the Hinterlands, move on to the next places. You can come back later

Sometimes I really fucking hate this place instead of just regular fucking hating it

Our family will still mask when we're indoors in public regardless of the laws around it

I can never quite bite through the sphere part of the avocado. Usually just swallow it whole

The answer to these questions is usually "the one you had when you were young and life was easiest". For me that's the SNES; I love everything about that console and even painted my office in its two-tone grey.

Despite that, the Switch is just the best. It's a home console that you can take on the go (or on the couch while someone else has control of the television). You can play with friends on a big screen or take it on the bus. It's had a long lifecycle that has seen some of the very best games ever made across all of Nintendo's franchises, plus tons of third-party and indie games.

The 3DS is in second place, mostly because it's the one portable-only system that Nintendo got right on the first try.