gon

My parents arrived today. I'm very happy :D I love my parents.

My mom is giving me some weight loss tips. She's on a similar journey to me, though for slightly different reasons. I find it a bit frustrating when she gives advice, because I get the impression she thinks she knows way more than she does... Then again, I don't think there's anything wrong with listening to what my mom has to say. I think what I'm doing has been working fine, though.

Shadow Slave has turned into a shoujo novel.

I wonder if I'm good at dealing with change. I feel that I'm not, frankly, but at the same time I feel that I am.

Of course, there are small changes and there are big changes; there are things that really matter, and things that only matter as far as you can throw them - they're very heavy, hypothetically, and therefore hard to throw.

Recently, as I've been reading Shadow Slave, I've noticed some changes. The themes are changing, the characters were changing and getting a little flanderized, the writing style was changing... Compared to 1000 chapters ago, Shadow Slave is a completely different experience. On one hand, this sounds great, right? I mean, reading the same thing for 2000 chapters sounds like a bore... However, there are certain aspects of the work that I was taking for granted. For instance, Shadow Slave very rarely changed perspectives. Very, very rarely. In the first, I don't know, 1400 chapters, maybe 5 of those were written from the perspective of characters other than the MC. Maybe 10. But in the latest 200 chapters, maybe half of them were as such. Weird.

Partially, I think this is because the world has grown so much. One thing about Shadow Slave is that there's world, and there's building, and the building is being done to the world. Extensively, might I add. Maybe because of that, the author has felt the need to shift between different characters that are in different places in the world to better show the reader what's happening overall in the story, instead of keeping us in abject ignorance and then leaving that feeling of Deus ex Machina when somehow something on the other side of the cosmos saves the MC - though of course, he knew it all along! If we see what's happening on the other side of the cosmos, that feeling goes away. It's frustrating, though, because, quite frankly, I'm mostly interested in certain aspects of the story and not so much in others. It's not that I don't care, just that I prefer some POVs to others.

I get the point, I'm just not sure I like it.

Also, the romance seems to be picking up. A little. Maybe. However, the way it's being developed is cringe, at best, and borderline infantile, at worst. Shadow Slave isn't a particularly adult webnovel, mind you, but COME THE FUCK ON MAN! These people are supposed to be older than me and they're acting like little children. A fake relationship, really? That's how low we're going with this? Alright.

Look, I love romance as much as the next shoujo-obsessed maniac, but - just like a shoujo-obsessed maniac - I know bait when I see it. Or read it. And this is bait. The baitiest most bait shit I've ever fucking read, in fact. It's just... Disastrous. Now, I believe in the author's ability to redeem himself, so I shall and have continued to read. However, I am, at the current moment, disappointed in the way the story's been developing, in that particular regard.

There are things I've been very much enjoying from the change in perspective - there's one POV in particular that I really love - and I also appreciate how the author has managed to grace us with both never-ending action, complex interpersonal relationships, and political intrigue, all at the same time. I also love that, some-fucking-how, the world keeps growing. More and more things keep being introduced, our knowledge of the complexities of reality in the Shadow Slave universe keeps being advanced and it somehow never feels particularly contrived. I did feel, occasionally, like the author was writing something cool, then didn't find a way to justify it, so he just waved it away. Some bullshit excuse and then moved on. Honestly? I appreciate that. I don't think there's a need to endlessly attempt to justify bad shit. Just leave it as a plot hole, don't make it a plot contrivance. That's my hot take, for the day.

I was trying to weave a mention of pants into this post, but didn't find a way to do it. Here it is.

Shadow Slave plot twist omggggg!!!!

Not really. Quite frankly, I don't think this qualifies as a plot twist at all, but I think it's a very unexpected - and welcome - change of pace! It's super cool, I love what's happening right now, in the story.

In other news, we're hosting my brother's friend's aunt. Annoying, but hey, what can you do. She's a nice enough lady, I just didn't want another person in this freaking apartment. That's life, though. I can deal with this fine.

I wore the same shorts today, but two different items. The same model. I thought that was kind of cool, though mostly irrelevant, of course.

I was thinking that short people should take less time to shower. Of course, very fat short people that have folds upon folds or something might take longer, relatively, but generally speaking - rule of thumb - the shorter you are, the less area your body has, the shorter your showers. However, I find that that's not really the case. Interesting. My conclusion, naturally, is that short people are a waste of water. Water-wasters.

If you're short, shorten your showers.

i was at house eating dorito when phone ring

"Lemm.ee is kil"

"no"

That's right. Lemm.ee is being shut down at the end of the month. A shame, a huge shame, but I suppose that's the nature of the Fediverse. Small independent and self-subsidized communities - possibly user-funded, to some extent - are bound to outgrow their means if the platforms keep growing and eventually shut down.

I really don't want to go back to .world, so I made an account on db0's instance.

The end of an era, for sure.

On a completely unrelated note, today I weighted in at 70.5 kg. Alright, I'm almost under 70, holy crap. Holy crap! My parents get here in 3 days, so I should be able to get there by the time they're here. That would be so awesome... Also, I replenished my beauty stack (Uriage products I use because my skin is as dry as Dave Chappelle's new material). I don't find him funny any more... A shame... I remember watching his stand-up on repeat as a kid.

I wore some very sporty shorts, today. They're really a bit long. I want my shorts... Short! Not too short, I don't want to wear booty shorts, but just a little shorter. I'd say, I want them comfortably above the knee, how about that. I feel like that's reasonable.

I woke up with a sore throat and have been coughing my lungs out for a bit now... Fuck... I hope I'm healthy enough to go get sushi when my parents get here...

I wonder how many job postings are just data harvesting tools. My guess? Quite a lot. I assume quite a lot are also just fake or at least handled pretty incompetently, which is a little sad.

Whatever.

Today, my little brother woke up at 1 PM. Insane! I had to be in my pyjamas shorts for, well, most of the day, really, because I couldn't go in the room to get my regular shorts for fear of waking him up, but at that point I just had to say something. Very frustrating... But whatever. I'm glad he's getting his rest in. He's a little sick, and I do believe he's been doing some studying for his exams so, it's fine.

Ate some veggies today. It was, surprisingly, not that much. I really hoped to eat more than the portion allocated... So I supplemented my lunch with a banana. It was very tasty. I also ate an apple this morning, which was very tasty too. A Fuji apple. I don't think I like it as much as the ones I was having before, but it's OK. I was hungry anyway.

Listened to some music, today, but not as much as I wished I had.

Today felt very thin. Uneventful and unremarkable. Nothing ever happens, as they say. Only wore shorts, today, as I didn't go outside (yet).

I didn't have breakfast because I woke up at 11, and lunch was also a little on the unsatisfying end of the gastronomic spectrum... But I feel relatively fine, all things considered. Drank a lot of water, today, which is nice. I love cold water... I mean, I love sodas and other drinks too, but quite honestly I feel like simple cold water is amazing. I mean, sure, coke is nice, but it gets old eventually. Water is that eternal staple that always hits the spot.

I remember hearing people say that they don't like water. To me, that sounds beyond absurd. Unthinkable, even. It's like people saying they don't like olives. How do you not like olives? Do you also not like olive oil? I've never met someone that doesn't like olive oil. Is it the texture, I wonder... I think olives have a very reasonable and unremarkable texture... But not a bad one, by any means. And they taste like olive, I mean... They're freaking olives! Admittedly, I love olives, so I totally understand that I might feel strongly about this particular delicacy, but someone genuinely disliking olives is nearly unfathomable. Mushrooms is one thing - I love mushrooms, too - because of their admittedly odd texture and appearance, but olives? How can you just dislike olives, period? That doesn't even make sense. Green olives and black olives taste very different.

Whatever!

I find that, whenever I talk to people, I end up wishing that I hadn't talked to people. The only exception, pretty much, is my family. I'm sure I've enjoyed talking to people, before - I remember instances of that, actually... OK, scratch that previous sentence. What I meant to say is that I haven't had any satisfying human interaction outside of my family in a very long time, relatively speaking, and I think that's playing into my misanthropy a little bit.

I bought bigger apples, too, which I didn't get to experience today... How unfortunate. Tomorrow, for sure!

I got to wear jeans again, today. It was a little colder than it has been, so I put on some warmer pants. Oh boy how I've missed them... They're so freaking good, jeans. I love them! This day has really put into perspective all the other jean-less days that I've lived.

Also, went to have lunch with my granny, today. It was nice! The food was just OK, really, but it's fine. We got soup!

Unrelated, but I kind of felt like writing, so I did. I think it's really bad and cringy, but hey!

Death can be loud and boisterous, at times, but it can also be sudden and quiet; Violent or peaceful; but it is always gruesome. The stomping out of the light of life – either by natural means or by the hand of Man – is always horrific.

Some people, however, are born with that particular circuit misaligned. Maybe because all the little parts that make them up aren’t meant to go together, or maybe because their mother coughed at the wrong time while they were in the womb. Regardless of the reason, that kind of person doesn’t care about life. They don’t see it as valuable – or rather, they don’t see it as any more valuable than any other thing.

That kind of person is dangerous. They’re like a wolf raised as a sheep. They know the value of a life, in a theoretical sense, but they don’t have an instinctual understanding of it. They don’t get it. There’s no reason to be scared of someone like that – at least not by their nature – but they’re dangerous when put in the position to disregard their conditioning. Or, of course, if they weren’t raised by sheep and were never taught proper behaviour.

Then, there’s that other kind of person: the sheep raised as a wolf. Someone that feels all the love, the empathy, the pain of others. A child that feels their own skin ablaze when they see their dad get burned by a splash of hot oil; the teenager that has to go to their happy place when a classmate’s presentation isn’t going well; the adult that walks around with headphones on to avoid hearing an awkward conversation. Well, if raised by a sheep, anyway, that’s how that kind of person turns out. However, if raised by wolves, if they’re shaped and forged by a mother that doesn’t value a life at all and by a father that values a life by how much money it can put in his pocket, then that sheep... It turns into something else.

The wolves are dangerous, but the sheep are deadly.

They don’t fake their kindness, they don’t need to act or deceive. They don’t need to be forced to ignore their programming or their nurture. That kind of person knows exactly what they’re doing. They know the pain they’re inflicting – and they feel it – and they do it anyway. They’re not mindless beasts or ruthless predators concerned only with their next meal. They’re hunters. Persistent, unrelenting. Body after body; they paint their walls red with their prey not because they’re hungry or because it is their nature to slaughter, but with a deeper purpose, a reason that only they know and truly understand. They’re calculating, cunning, resourceful, and most of all, deadly.

A street gang is a pack of wolves, but an empire is a herd.

In Shadow Slave, a few chapters ago, the MC gave this really terrible speech. It was incredibly cringe and self-important. Then, that speech was immortalized in his inventory. As such, I've decided to immortalize the above slosh in this post. It was supposed to be an intro to something else I felt like writing, but then it got a little out of hand and doesn't really work any more, I don't think so. Whatever!

I went to have some sushi, today. It was nice, but less nice than usual. Quite frankly, I wasn't that engaged with the meal, if that makes sense. I liked it, don't get me wrong, but I just felt like something was missing, maybe. Well, one aspect of it is almost certainly how obnoxiously hot it is - I'm freaking boiling out here... And it's really dry, as well, so I'm really thirsty as well. Another thing, though, is that I missed some variety. I ate my fill - a bit more than my fill, quite frankly - but I wish I could've tried more kinds of sushi! What I ate was delicious, but I wanted to eat other stuff too. There are a few other sushi places that we occasionally go to, so maybe next time we should go there. Next time will be with my parents, anyway, and they prefer to go to those other places, so I guess that's probably a solved issue, for now - or for then, I suppose.

My little cousin had his birthday today. It was nice to see him since I hadn't in a long while. I also got to speak with my aunt and my other cousin, which was nice as well. Overall, I'm happy!

Also, managed to fix my internet! It had gotten "fixed" already, but it was slow and janky, but a couple of resets and whatnots set it straight.

I wonder what counts as a city. I've never lived in a city center, but I've certainly lived in cities - I live in a city right now! However, when I look at what a city looks like online or in the movies or shows, they don't look like what I see looking out of my window. I see the tall buildings, the highway, the cables and the thousands of cars... But I also see trees, so many trees, and I see sheep and cows too. Really, looking outside I see a sea of green sprinkled with concrete scars. The city center is much closer to my idea of a city with the buildings upon buildings, crowded streets, and eternal construction projects; sure, but where do I live, then? I guess I don't live in a city, then. But then, is a city just like... What, a few streets? Maybe. Maybe cities are just different, here. I guess that could be the case, or not.

Regardless, I like what I see when I look outside my window. I miss the ocean, a little, but I go down to the beach every day for my daily walks, so it's fine.

Actually, today I thought about cardinal directions. Oftentimes in Shadow Slave, the MC references cardinal directions - that's just how he ends up orienting himself. I do that too, actually. I always know where North is, I keep it in mind. Well, I keep West in mind and go from there, I suppose, lol. Of course, I know that many places are referred to as the "North side" and such, so surely many people do this, but it's one of those things that I feel like is not often talked about, for some reason. I remember hearing something about how some tribe somewhere or something always had a perfect idea of where North is on the island, something like that. I mean, living on an island, I also always knew where North was... I just looked around and had points of reference that told me where the directions were! So... That's not really that special, is it? I don't know, maybe they just don't need to think about it at all, they just know it? I guess.

Whatever!

I managed to get the bluetooth on my mouse to work with my laptop! Ever since I switched to Linux, it wasn't working, for some reason. I could still use it with the little USB attachment it also came with, but I had been used to the bluetooth, plus bluetooth is just way more convenient than having to plug one of your ports. Not sure what changed, not sure what I did differently this time, but I just felt like trying to get the bluetooth working again, and it did! Nice.

This morning, my little brother was shocked that I had clothes on. Mind you, I usually have clothes on, but he was expecting me to be in my pyjamas. He was like, "how do you have shorts on?," which was really funny. He sounded genuinely bewildered. Admittedly, he's a little sick and had just woken up, so I guess his brain simply hadn't gotten up to speed with wandering reality. My clothes are in his room, but I just put on what I had on the previous day, which were my "inside clothes."

There was a post going "viral" - nothing really goes viral on Lemmy, but it was getting some traction - that said that the last time all humans were on Earth was sometime in October of 2000. I thought that was really interesting. October 31st, turns out. That's cool and interesting, especially because I was born after October 31st of 2000. Now, here's what I'm thinking about: time really does keep going. It's funny, really. My parents were my age, once, and there was a time before me when things were different. There was a time that I remember when things were different. That's just really cool, I guess. Not really anything ground breaking in this post, but I wanted to mention it.

I'm kind of feeling the need to get a coin pouch. I've been thinking about this for a while, actually... I have a Ridge wallet, so I carry a few cards and a single note. That's fine, but if I ever spend that note, I might get - I probably will get - coins as change. Annoying, since I don't have anywhere to store coins! As such, the obvious solution is to have some sort of attachment to the backside of the Ridge wallet where I can store my coins. Something like a coin pouch. A leather coin pouch. I can see it, in my mind. I wonder if I can make it... I think so. I think I can make it, or at least I can make a concept of it, and then I might be able to get it made somewhere.

That would be cool. I did find a coin pouch hanging around here, not in use, so I can probably mangle it and resew it. Repurpose it! That would be awesome, I think. I'll get on it, eventually.

My little brother is sick.

Yesterday, we had to cut our walk a bit short on account of that. It was a little annoying, but I didn't want to push him and risk getting him sicker, especially since he really didn't seem to be feeling too good. I doubt that, today, we will go on a walk at all. I will, of course, but I suspect he'll elect to stay home. He didn't even get out of his pyjamas, as a matter of fact. I, myself, did get out of my jammies and put on some very nice shorts by Jack & Jones. I think that the length is actually pretty good on these ones, though I still have some serious criticisms regarding the string and the waistband... Unfortunate, really, that I've lost weight and now these rather large shorts don't really fit me very well anymore around the waist.

My headphones' earpads have started to peel. Very unfortunate. I can't feel it, so it's a strictly visual issue, for now, but it is still annoying. As such, I've done some searching regarding what the best headphones and, well, I guess audio-listening-ear-devices out there are, and I've come up with a few results. Not that I'm thinking of buying new ones any time soon, but still, it's nice to have a list ready beforehand.

Actually, today I put on a shirt that I vividly remember avoiding for a long time because it felt extremely tight on me. Now, it doesn't. I think it fits me perfectly! It feels good to feel the progress in such a tangible way.

I've been listening to a lot of music, these days.

It's amazing. I feel like it's one of those things that I don't remember to miss, but feel the absence when I get back into it. Mostly, I've been listening to random mixes/playlists that show up on YT, recommended. They're really not that good, mostly, but there's a certain magic to them. I like it, what can I say...

Yesterday, my little brother spoke to me extensively about a fanfic he was reading set in the Vampire Diaries universe. I thought it was really interesting. It got me thinking about how, describing fiction - and really, most things, I'd say - makes it sound really silly, but if you let yourself dive into the story, it becomes really interesting. Or can become that way, I guess; obviously, there are stories that aren't that compelling, or people that don't vibe with certain stories.

Something I've been really loving about Shadow Slave, really, is the commentary on the real world. I mean, sure, it's awesome action with cool powers; blood, strategy, cool shit, right? But it's the in-betweens that really keep you hooked. Really, if I were to just say what it's about, it would sound pretty boring and cliché, I think. It's good, though.

I wore all black today: black shorts, black shirt, black slippers. My socks are blue though, matching my boxers. Truly, I'm a master of colour combination. Bow!

There wasn't enough of the fried rice I'd made yesterday for a full bowl, so I added some veggie mix. It was a fantastic idea. It was totally super delish~ I love veggies and there were some pretty decently sized pieces of fish left in the rice too, so it was a very satisfying meal. That's not something I can say about my menial breakfast, though. See, the apple was great and nice, but the chocomilk was mediocre. I don't know... I think my brother might've converted me to his almond milk... I should give it a try.

Speaking of my brother, today he mentioned that, this Saturday, we're gonna go for sushi again, with our granny! Poggers! :D My weight is on track, and I don't really feel the need to "cheat" on my "diet," anyway, but it's also nice to look forward to a day when you get to just eat a bunch of something you really love and not think about losing or gaining weight. It's a weight off your mind, you could say. Bazinga.

I'm starting to like the weird little things my mom has strewn around the apartment. Age is catching up with me.

No wifi since yesterday... Painful! Have plenty of data, but still...

I'll be hosting some technicians tomorrow... Maybe I should put on nice pants, look presentable. On the other hand, I don't care. Shorts it is.

We have hot water back and it's glorious.

Ate some fried rice, today. It was yummy, but only like okay-levels of yummy... Maybe I should add cheese, or lentils. Or beans. I do also have some veggie mix... I should add that, too! I shall.

Excited for tomorrow's meals. I didn't have breakfast today, actually, because I ended up waking up rather late. Tomorrow promises great things.