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I'm sorry for your loss 😢 it sounds like you have wonderful memories of her.

This album has been on my discogs wishlist for aaaaages. How can you tell when it's a crappy bootleg?

There's a difference between glorifying unhealthy features in dog breeds like the squished snout of a pug, and going "aww" at a picture of a dog in a cute costume.

Such a great album. The songwriting is insanely good.

That's a very interesting point. I didn't interpret the album in this way, but even doing so I'm still put off. That's purely a personal thing, and I'm in not suggesting this is a bad album because the sentiment in it (whether personally felt by the lyricist or just an invention from the perspective of a flawed character) is something I don't share.

My reaction to lyrics has become uncomfortable to the point where I no longer enjoy the album, and so I guess I'm grieving the loss of my love for this album.

Thanks for this response, it was thought-provoking and I wanted to take the time to reply to you properly.

First, I'm glad The Outsider holds meaning for you. My discomfort with the song, and the album in general, is down to the way those words resonate with me, and that's based on my experiences. If you've been in a place where you've experienced someone you care about self-destructing, then I'm sorry you went through that. It's horrible. Processing that is very personal and there isn't a wrong way to do it.

I picked The Outsider as an example in my original post because it's a clear representation of the theme of disdain I feel is present in the entire album. Again, I understand this is a concept album and I shouldn't jump to the conclusion that this represents Maynard's real opinions, but I have a hard time separating him as a person from the narrator in this album because this isn't the only place Maynard has expressed such opinions. I remember interviews he gave around the time Thirteenth Step came out where he went into the meaning behind some of the songs, and he was very direct about them being about his disappointment in other people. Whether the subjects of these songs are real or imagined, I don't know, but either way it doesn't sit right with me.

It's not just on this album: a lot of Maynard's lyrics have similar themes. For example, I love the music in Passive, but the lyrics again are written from the perspective of someone angry and frustrated that other people don't meet up to their standards. Aenema is pretty misanthropic in general. In Hooker With a Penis he pushes back against his critics with "all you know about me is what I sold you", but all he's selling me is a contrarian provocateur. Whether there's a deeper self-reflection hidden between the lines of his words almost feels irrelevant: I'm believing who he's showing me, and it puts me off.

Definitely. And I'll always love the music.

Yeah. Remember when he found out his wine was vegan, so he posted a picture of himself dangling bacon over one of the wine vats?

It's like he never grew out of being an edgy teenager.

A lot of the lyrics on Thirteenth Step feel like they come from a place of judgement and cynicism at an addict's recovery. I get it's a concept album, and this is Maynard's take on the issue as he experiences it. But the more I listen to it the more I realise I don't relate to it at all. So I feel like I'm saying goodbye to an album that I used to enjoy musically.

Chapter 2: Numquam is available on Bandcamp.

If you haven't listened to Chapter 3 yet, I can thoroughly recommend it. Head's up though: it's a very difficult album to listen to.

Same this week. Evoken consistently blow me away.

Ah nice!