drbollocks

i know that everyone with cluster b personality disorders are different and obviously not everyone with cluster b/npd is abusive/a bully. this person just happened to be abusive with untreated npd.

she clearly needs help, and happens to have anger issues as well, taking her anger out on most everyone.

often she tried to isolate me from other people, since “no one understands you like i do, people actually hate you for your disability and see you as an animal. i know best and i know what they really think.”

she also seems to adhere to rules and gets mad when people don’t strictly follow them.

she expects people be identical to her and strictly fit into her mold, and constantly excludes people like me but then acts sweet when she needs something again.

she genuinely lacks empathy and doesn’t care about social rights for minorities nor animal rights, and seems to view other people as tools to help HER gain success, everyone else be damned. (she can have basic empathy, such as “oh I’m sorry that happened”, or care about social rights when it makes her look good.)

if, for example, someone doesn’t let her win a sort of game, she will call them some sort of insult or slur. she called my black friend the n word for not letting her cheat in a game and also not going easy on her to let her win.

she also is convinced everyone’s out to get her, that everyone is cheating if they win, that no one is better than she is, or that people are deliberately attacking her for not letting her win/not interacting with her.

she cannot take accountability, and thinks that everything bad happening to her is undeserved, as she is “the best”.

i’m sorry if i sound mean. i acknowledge that not everyone with a cluster b personality disorder is like this as i said, i just know she is and seems to show traits of an untreated cluster b personality disorder from what i’ve heard of, and have specifically been told it SOUNDS like npd (untreated).

i’m also a little upset/done because she’s been treating me and others badly for years 😓

i don’t mean this to say that people with mental health conditions are all abusive, nor do i take your comments as a diagnosis, i’m more or less just curious. after all, only a professional could help the specific person.

i have been emotionally abused by someone. they can never accept their own faults or mistakes. telling them they made a mistake will set them off and cause outbursts of anger. they strictly adhere to rules and try to control people to follow a rigid set of them.

will often prey on weaknesses to make you stay with them because “no one understands you, just me”. discards you but comes back after a while and the cycle repeats.

often makes others feel bad about themselves, that they are the best/only good person and they should be the reliable one to come to when something’s wrong. in their eyes, you are worthless no matter what you do to change it.

for example, when i go to lemmy.world, i see downvotes, but here, there are none. i find that pretty cool :)

i want to be able to post genuine things without being downvoted to hell, even though they shouldn’t matter to me in the end.

(im going to say that im a lesbian, first off, and maybe i just feel this way about relationships with men because i’m in a bad spot, or in other words, pissed.)

part of the reason i broke up with my boyfriend of almost 3 years was because i figured out im a lesbian and couldn’t see myself dating nor attracted to a man.

the other part? he wasn’t there for me as of recent.

he was pansexual and i was a gay/bi trans guy. i met him through a friend, and he lost contact with the friend sometime after he met me and only we talked (our only mutual friend after that was some VERY controversial guy from tiktok but due to said controversy, we stopped being in contact with him and he blocked us).

a lot of the new friends we made on his discord server started to make silly jokes about us, like “get a room you two!” or “are you sure you guys aren’t dating?” it was very casual, i had feelings for him so i was just like “ if he wants to 🤷‍♀️” and he replied with “yeah ok why not :)”

so after that, we were a couple. we talked a lot as friends, we talked a lot as boyfriends. then i got a girlfriend (the deal was that we could date if we knew about the people, and he knew about my gf). we broke up the first time and she acted really cruel (saying i abused/assaulted her, either acted this way because i was a guy or because i was trans. maybe both). this made me feel terrible for MONTHS due to having bad-ish attachment issues.

i detransitioned after that, since the very thought of being a man reminded me of our relationship/breakup.

he, however, was there for me during it. at least, when he could be.

there would be periods that would last several weeks where i would hear nothing from him. even when i would see he read my messages and posted on social media, he would not respond to my messages. ever.

then he would be like, “sorry, i was at work” or “sorry, i was staying at someone’s house for a while”. i was quite forgiving and was honestly just worried about him.

then, it happened more frequently, again and again. he would hardly say he loved me or show any affection. my “friend” told me this was normal in relationships and thought i was crazy for thinking otherwise.

sometimes, he would say he loved me and actually be there for me, but he recently started leaving me on read again. i broke up with him and decided i was a lesbian since i kind of lost feelings and couldn’t see myself with a man or even attracted to one.

[so, im still kind of pissed at him, confused about my attraction a little, and at a rocky relationship with my “friend” and girlfriend.]

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/22098369

(found this community more fitting because im a lesbian, also because I see people get downvoted a lot in advice communities despite being made for advice)

she’s just not a very active person online. when she is, shes only active in group chats with her friends.

usually, she talks about video games, and is actually offline because she plays video games almost all the time.

is there any way to salvage the relationship? she’s too focused on her interests to be interested in mine, and like I said, is almost always playing games so we barely talk aside from: “hi ❤️” “Hi sweetie ❤️” “hru??” “Good, just playing games, you?” “good :)) im listening to music” and then the conversation ends because she doesn’t message first and is busy with the other stuff.

(i have tried talking to her and she says she’s usually busy. shes either genuinely busy, busy with games, or in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like talking [sad/tired])

she either types “oh!” “…/.” or “erm what 😨” when i say smth

also, shes quite dry around me, often giving like one word responses and only being super energetic around her friends and when posting about video games.

idk if she’s actually just busy or making excuses, since shes usually talking to her friends or other partner (open relationships)

she’s just not a very active person online. when she is, shes only active in group chats with her friends.

usually, she talks about video games, and is actually offline because she plays video games almost all the time.

is there any way to salvage the relationship? she’s too focused on her interests to be interested in mine, and like I said, is almost always playing games so we barely talk aside from: “hi ❤️” “Hi sweetie ❤️” “hru??” “Good, just playing games, you?” “good :)) im listening to music” and then the conversation ends because she doesn’t message first and is busy with the other stuff.

(i have tried talking to her and she says she’s usually busy. shes either genuinely busy, busy with games, or in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like talking [sad/tired])

I created !Crushes@lemmy.blahaj.zone for the people who have crushes

!crushes@lemmy.blahaj.zone

anyone who’s attracted to someone can post here :)

I’ve seen adults with crushes so…