overview for destase

first injection!! in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[–] destase@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I didn’t realize how pretty the sky was until I started HRT. Looked it up and apparently perception of blue is especially sensitive to hormones

Bottom dysphoria changing after HRT - why? in c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

[–] destase@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Thanks for the response! I agree with your first paragraph - I’m not trying to find an identity, I’m not trying to figure out pronouns, I’m trying to figure out hormones and surgeries. That’s it.

The choice I’m facing is to continue with an extremely difficult transition and maybe emerge much happier on the other end (and maybe not emerge at all), or continue doing whatever I’ve been doing for the past 10 years which apparently evaporated while I wasn’t paying attention.

I imagine there must be comfort in knowing “I am a woman, I must transition” or “I am a man, I must not”. I don’t have that, I’m just lost. Starting therapy tomorrow to hopefully work on that

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Bottom dysphoria changing after HRT - why? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by destase@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

13 comments fedilink

I’ve been on HRT for about 6 weeks now and I’m pretty sure I’m at female levels. Got a late start at 29 and I still strongly doubt that I’m even trans and should be doing this (seriously, my story is a weird one I think). I would quite welcome being cis because that would mean I don’t have to upend my life and essentially start over under 10x more difficult conditions. I considered myself agender for a long time and maybe I am.

Before HRT I considered myself very much vers. I do understand that severe bottom dysphoria is not needed to be trans, and I intended to do maintenance to retain my ability to top. Now that I’m actually into it, my feelings have changed.

I’ve read that a full erection once a day is needed to reliably retain full function, but that sounds quite unpleasant to me now? I just don’t want to do it, and I don’t really care if I never use my genitals to top again. I’m also finding myself more welcoming to the idea of SRS.

Is it due to the nature of HRT and changing sex drive? I mean, duh, estrogen
Is it due to repression breaking? Was I masking dysphoria before?
Is it because I have read and internalized that this is how I should feel, in some people’s opinion, and I am conforming to that?

I don’t think it’s really the last one - I also understand I have more sexual/dating prospects if I’m vers, and I think I kinda care about that more than some fringe viewpoints about validity