dandelion

Learned of Macy Rodman from s01e01 of Fantasmas, her voice tripped my trans radar.

Her musical and artistic style is a bit rough around the edges for my tastes, but I thought this song was too on the nose not to share 😄

does a book count as a meme? 🤔

I socially transitioned before I started hormones, and when I went out in public wearing women's clothes, people would look at me frequently, and some people would stare at me. It was obvious I didn't pass from these kinds of responses, but I also got somewhat used to that treatment.

Over time, with hormone therapy, I get fewer and fewer instances of this. I haven't been stared at in a long time, and I think people look at me less.

At one point I would describe my experience as being a "woman shaped object" - in people's peripheral vision I looked like a normal woman, but if someone interacted with me they could tell I was trans.

I went out yesterday and got my nails done, went shopping, went out for dinner, etc. and interactions with people made me think they couldn't tell I was trans, but I just don't know whether they can actually tell or not.

While waiting in line to buy some clothes, a woman wanted to chat about how long the line was taking, and she interacted with me as though I were a normal woman - there wasn't a hint of stigma, curiosity, etc.

Anyway - this just makes me wonder: what are others' experiences with passing and not-passing, what are little clues that you aren't passing or when you are?

I assume you just can't actually tell when people are being polite vs not knowing, but maybe there are little hints.

Thanks!

Link to poll: https://www.dataforprogress.org/blog/2024/10/23/voters-prefer-candidates-who-are-supportive-of-transgender-rights-think-recent-political-ads-have-gotten-mean-spirited-and-out-of-hand

When voters are asked whether they are more inclined to support a candidate who backs transgender rights or one who opposes them, voters overwhelmingly choose the candidate in favor of transgender rights, by a margin of 21 points. This trend holds true among Independents, with a 19-point preference. Even 22% of Republicans indicate they are more likely to support a candidate who favors trans rights—a significantly higher percentage than the share of Democrats who would back a candidate opposing them.

Furthermore, voters showed frustration with the wave of anti-trans advertisements. When asked if they thought political attack ads against the transgender community have gotten mean spirited and out of hand, far more voters agree than disagree (+28 points). This finding holds true for independents (+23 points) as well, with even 31% of Republicans finding that there were too many political attack ads.

Just wondering for those who have seen it, what your thoughts are about the recent documentary Will & Harper.

Musk announced the $1 million giveaway at an event in Harrisburg, Pa., on Saturday. The event was part of a tour supporting Trump.

“I have a surprise for you," Musk said shortly before bringing out a giant check. "We are going to be awarding $1 million to people who have signed the petition — every day, from now until the election.”

"If you look at the conditions, you must be a registered voter," Hasen said. "And so this is essentially a lottery that's open only to people who register to vote. So it’s either an incentive for someone to vote or it’s a reward. And either way, it violates federal law."

He calls Musk's actions "clearly illegal" because it violates statute 52 U.S.C. 10307(c) and the Department of Justice’s election manual.

Hasen said willful violation of statute 52 U.S.C. 10307(c) comes with a $10,000 fine and up to five years in prison.

"I don't think it would be likely that he would suffer such a serious fine," Hasen said of Musk. "Although, if he was warned that this is illegal activity and continued to do it, I think that would create a different kind of situation."

I can't seem to shake imposter syndrome or doubts about whether I'm "trans" or whether I'm a woman, etc.

Just wondering what you all do when you feel that way, if you have any recommendations?

It makes me feel awful, there is so much commitment to a transition it feels like you have to be certain, but I just don't have constant certainty.

Sometimes I'll sit down and try to analyze it objectively, basically considering the "null hypothecis" - if I am not trans, then I would be cis, if I were cis then a certain set of things would be true (like, estrogen would probably not feel so great, testosterone would not make me depressed, etc.).

Just wanted to put it on your radar in case you didn't know about the show (I only found out about it by accident). I think it's available on Netflix.

The show was written by an enby and the cast includes a trans man and Suzy Eddie Izzard.

Hello, I was wondering if anyone has recommendations for tools to help with digital detox / digital minimalism.

I struggle with mild impulsivity. Whenever I open my computer I almost automatically open a browser and check social media.

It used to be a problem primarily with Reddit and news sites, but since joining Lemmy my behavior has switched to regularly checking Lemmy.

I'm looking for any tools or advice, whether cognitive-behavioral or technical like browser extensions.

In the past I used the Firefox extension called Redirector to redirect myself from certain subreddits like /r/all to something more benign (I like /r/sewing or /r/books for example), and this intervention helped break up automatic behavior and was a kind of harm reduction: still feeding the impulsivity, but with healthier content.

I was wondering if there is something like Redirector that redirects randomly with some probability (like 20% of the time it redirects to the target you specify).

Hi, just wondering if anyone else has a similar struggle as me.

Sometimes when I'm thinking in my mind, I have a voice (I know not everyone experiences this, but it sounds common enough) and this "inner" narrative voice has habituated to a masculine sounding voice.

I have noticed when I'm feeling connected with my gender and it's easier to stick with a feminized voice when speaking aloud (i.e. to others, not internal), my internal voice is likewise easier to be subconsciously feminine as well.

Some days I have a really good gender day and I wake up the next morning and my mind has reverted back to that masculine-sounding voice in my head. This isn't necessarily inherently distressing as much as it can feel invalidating or make me feel doubt and cognitive dissonance, like I am not a valid woman because my unconscious has this masculine voice, or the internal masculine voice makes it harder to feel authentic using my feminine voice. Some mornings I try to consciously make it sound more feminine and that is helpful, but some mornings it can feel overwhelming or difficult to constantly correct that masculine voice, and the practice becomes a bit like when I try to use my feminine voice with others - an exercise that makes me feel inauthentic, fake, performative, and anxious.

So far the only real solution I have to these dual problems of habituation (for inner voice and outer) is to just keep trying and persist. I have a tendency towards perfectionism, which makes me feel constantly like I am failing, and this can lead me to feel less motivated to keep trying. However, I am continuing to make an effort. I find having a weekly speech therapy appointment keeps me engaged in that process, and from letting it drop due to other pressures. It also usually makes me feel extremely affirmed, as my therapist is much happier with my progress than I am, and this usually results in finding using my femme voice easy and natural (though usually this only lasts the rest of the day, again, sleeping seems to reset everything and the next morning I wake up with a masculine voice again).

Was wondering if anyone else has habituated their inner narrative voice, how long it took for them to do that (or if they just stopped noticing or it became less relevant?), and if anyone has tips for overcoming the anxiety of using your voice in everyday situations.

I feel like forcing myself over and over into the situations has been effective in reducing how anxious I feel. Over time it has gone from feeling like I almost physically couldn't do it and a rising panic sensation to now it just feels like a bit of performance anxiety right before and I usually slip into it without too much issue - though sustaining it over a long period when speaking a lot can be challenging, and how anxious I feel seems connected to how confident I feel in my gender.

So to summarize, things that have worked for me:

• noticing masculine inner narrative voice and willfully feminizing it in my head when I notice
• persisting in forcing myself to feminize my voice at work and in public full-time, even when it is terrifying and just continuing to get regular exposure and ignoring the anxiety that is there
• building confidence in my gender with styling my hair, wearing jewelry, putting on makeup, wearing feminine clothes, etc. help a little with getting on-board with using a feminine voice (I think of it as I have to pass to myself before I feel like I can try to pass with others, so finding ways to look more like your gender to yourself to build confidence will help with using your voice)

Wondering if anyone else has experiences to share or advice.

Thank you!

Hi!

tl;dr after injecting the same amount of estradiol valerate (subq) for a month or so, I started to experience more dysphoria and signs of testosterone (esp. mental) started to come back. Any reason this might be?

Longer version / details:

I injected 5 mg (0.25 mL) of estradiol valerate subq into my thighs every four days for a while, and for a couple weeks I started injecting into my abdomen instead to avoid blood supplies.

This dose seemed like more than enough. In the past 3.4 mg every 3 days gave me blood estradiol levels of ~350 pg/mL at trough. Recent labs showed 5 mg every 4 days had ~300 pg/mL at trough for me, which was lower than I expected.

It's a good level, but I was having weird dysphoric experiences that commonly happen when my hormones are out of wack (usually when I'm taking too little estrogen). Things like really doubting my gender identity, depression (lack of motivation, lethargic), anhedonia (little pleasure, flat affect, often leads to craving short-term reward behaviors). Physiological signs of T were not as evident in this case, and the dysphoria was not as severe as in the past when my estrogen was too low. Still, it seemed a lot like my estrogen was too low.

I increased my dose to 5.4 mg and the dysphoria went away within a day and I felt amazing and continued to feel amazing. I intended to switch to 5.4 mg / 4 days instead, but on day 3 I could feel my hormones coming down and trusting my experience I injected 5 mg a day early with the intention of trying 5 mg / 3 days (which is a lot more than I have taken before in terms of what this should do to my overall levels). Still not sure what I will do next. Part of me wants to stick with a 4 day cycle to keep lower peaks and to minimize overall levels (out of principle, I know injecting is not as risky as oral routes).

I'm trying to figure out why a stable dose that seems so high and was for the most part effective would suddenly not be "enough" (assuming that's indeed what's happening).

For context I'm close to 4 months on HRT, I took bicalutamide for a bit but stopped because I don't think it helped my mental symptoms and that's the most important therapeutic goal for me with taking HRT. I switched to monotherapy after 2 months which is when I started the 5 mg / 4 days.

I've heard sometimes the body can go through phases as it adjusts to estrogen early in HRT, so maybe this is just one of those lurches or adjustments?

Anyway here are some guesses I came up with:

• I gained some weight (like 15 lbs), some maybe I need a little more EV than before?
• injecting into abdomen depots the oil differently than the thigh, so maybe I am seeing a slower or lower circulation of EV (or alternatively a much faster circulation that is causing a crash earlier?)
• maybe the estrogen receptors are downregulating due to taking too high of a dose too regularly? (I see lots of debate about whether this is a thing, mostly people on Reddit rejecting the idea that this has any clinical relevance.)

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has suggestions.

Thanks so much!