agreed, the app is not defensible, but a lot of men are enjoying and justifying the doxxing of the women users of the app as justice served, and I think that's abhorrent
one in three is only sexual and physical violence from an intimate partner, your one in nine stat includes sexual harassment, the stat is even higher for women if you include sexual harassment:
https://interactive.unwomen.org/multimedia/infographic/violenceagainstwomen/en/index.html
it's not clear to me the sexual violence one in nine men experience are primarily caused by women, either - LGBT+ men such as trans men are at much higher risk of domestic and sexual violence ...
are men concerned for their safety dating women? Has one in three men experienced sexual or physical violence at the hands of their female partners?
Every summer, the neighborhood throws its own smaller-scale LGBTQ+ Pride event separate from the city's main annual parade taking place this weekend.
It's just one of more than 200 Pride events taking place in Germany this year.
17 anti-LGBT protests against over 200 Pride events, in case anyone is looking for a "silver lining" to this story. 😊
Tea is marketed as a “dating safety tool” for women, and it pledges to donate ten percent of its revenue to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. ...
...
The app enables the photos to be run through a reverse image search, enabling them to run a basic background check, check against public sex offender databases, and check for photos that might get flagged as being used in “catfishing” — misrepresenting one’s identity online.
The app also features a “Tea Party Group Chat,” which allows users to directly share information about men, and has a rating function, which allows users to share their experiences with Yelp-style reviews, awarding men a “green flag” or a “red flag.”
https://www.cnn.com/2025/07/25/us/tea-app-dating-privacy-cec
+1 for Mullvad!
Villa, who was born in Russia and raised in the U.S. from a young age, moved to Moscow seeking refuge from American discrimination after an unsettling encounter with the police. She shared footage of her injuries after the attack, which she said was racially motivated. The assault adds cruel irony to her story, as she had previously lauded Russia as a racial haven compared to the U.S.
To be fair, she was born in Russia, so maybe that played a role? Either way, I agree - Russia is hardly progressive on racial politics let alone a safe place for ethnic minorities:
Racist attacks and killings of foreigners and ethnic minorities are reported with shocking regularity in Russia and, disturbingly, their frequency seems to be increasing. Victims whose cases have come to the attention of Amnesty International include students, asylum-seekers and refugees from Africa and Asia, as well as people from the south Caucasus, from South, Southeast and Central Asia, from the Middle East and from Latin America. However, citizens of the Russian Federation are no less at risk of physical attack. Anyone who does not look typically ethnic Russian, for example, individuals from ethnic groups of the North Caucasus, in particular Chechens, as well as members of the Jewish community, Roma and children of mixed parentage are at risk. Even ethnic Russians who are seen as sympathizing with foreigners or ethnic minority groups, for example, fans of rap or reggae music, members of other youth sub-cultures, and campaigners against racism, have also been targeted as they are perceived as “unpatriotic” or “traitors”. Attacks have been reported in towns and cities across the Russian Federation.
https://www.amnesty.org/en/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/eur460222006en.pdf
of course, the app has obvious problems, but I don't see that as justifying the gloating and sense of revenge enjoyment happening.
Instead I see a kind of discontent about women I find concerning, which seems ignorant of the widespread violence women experience or what it's like for women who take risks when dating men.
Men are not all equally problematic or privileged, but they are generally in a position of power relative to women and are acting like the victims here.
They should direct their discontent to patriarchy which creates the situation where violence against women is dismissed or accepted, and which motivates women to use apps to check if the person they are dating has a history of violent behavior.
Patriarchy which perpetuates the narrative that men are natural predators and women natural prey is what victimizes men here, not the women who rightfully fear and feel victimized by the minority of men who are violent.
The app enables the photos to be run through a reverse image search, enabling them to run a basic background check, check against public sex offender databases, and check for photos that might get flagged as being used in “catfishing” — misrepresenting one’s identity online.
The app also features a “Tea Party Group Chat,” which allows users to directly share information about men, and has a rating function, which allows users to share their experiences with Yelp-style reviews, awarding men a “green flag” or a “red flag.”
https://www.cnn.com/2025/07/25/us/tea-app-dating-privacy-cec
It's a bit like Rate My Professor, but for dating.
Honestly I cyncially expect this kind of app might inevitably exist for rating people of all genders (or that dating apps might incorporate this Uber-style rating system), but the reason this app exists has directly to do with the violence women face from intimate partners.
The point is that men who are enjoying the doxxing of women who have used this app are ignoring the context, or even have a warped sense of the context, as if this is narrowly about (legitimate) privacy concerns and the harms caused by the app.
Even if the concerns about the app are justified, the revenge enjoyment betrays a view much harder to defend, that all the women who used the app are equally cupable, or that doxxing women using the app is equivalent to women doxxing abusive men through the app.
Men are not all equally privileged, but there is a broad inequality both to how violence is distributed and how that plays out in dating situations. Women are not wrong to fear men. One in three women have experienced sexual or physical violence, most of that violence being perpetuated by men.
Since this is the context for the use of this app, it's not neutral to doxx its users or to claim it's fair because men feel (legitimate) concerns about the app's privacy violations.
fuck, I really need to stop going to this community - I don't have enough content to keep posting 😭
I accidentally clicked on /c/196 and now I have to post, uh - here's something Wednesday related
~~fleeing~~ leaving the South (in the US), worried I'll have to flee the US too