dandelion

joined 1 year ago
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[โ€“] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 2 days ago (3 children)

yes, I'm somewhat reiterating a view you were originally criticizing - though I'm doing that because you pointed it out, not sure a "yes, actually" is really a "called it" moment, but sure - let's go with that anyway, it's almost Friday ๐Ÿ˜„

[โ€“] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 2 days ago (5 children)

ah, didn't realize you meant "racism" as meaning anti-white. To be honest I do think the relevant aspect of what makes something racist is the direction of the flow of power.

When a marginalized group is persecuted or oppressed by a dominant group, it's the oppression and power difference that is relevant even more than the narrow sense in which group categories are used to make decisions. This is why affirmative action is not racist, for example.

[โ€“] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (7 children)

you mentioned it would be bold for a Black-only community to try to exist IRL, and that's accurate - those communities even when just majority Black without exclusion policies have historically been oppressed and met with physical violence... Same with indigenous communities and so on, turns out white settler-colonial culture is intolerant and violent.

[โ€“] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 days ago (9 children)

angry white people have been attacking communities of color for a long time in this country

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cicero_race_riot_of_1951

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulsa_race_massacre

[โ€“] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

most gay folks are cis ...

cooked my first meal after moving into my new place!

oh, you mean trans women? Since men get their testes removed from cancer and other reasons, it's the misogyny and homophobia that seems to motivate the anti-trans sentiment, at least it seems.

[โ€“] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[โ€“] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)
  1. Talk to your local trans community, find multiple people who have actually had surgeries and who like their results, figure out who their surgeon was (they may have traveled to get the surgery, it's not uncommon to have to travel).
  2. checkout reviews online of surgeons in your area or region, you could start here for example: https://old.reddit.com/r/TransSurgeriesWiki/wiki/srs/usa-west#wiki_arizona
  3. If the above two options don't work, and you have a trans healthcare provider (like an endo overseeing your HRT), they will sometimes have a list of referrals to people in urology who accept trans patients.

I recommend seeing someone experienced in performing gender-affirming surgeries for trans patients, and who has a strong track record of good results.

I would even recommend going with a surgeon who performs vaginoplasties and who will know how to perform the orchi in a way that preserves the scrotum so you could use it for a skin graft in the future.

Sometimes surgeons don't know to prioritize the scrotal skin for later surgeries (or just have particular methods and preferences that could conflict with future surgeons), so having a skillful surgeon who routinely performs orchiectomies before vaginoplasties on the same patients will hopefully know how to preserve and treat that area better than a generic urology surgeon who performs orchi's on men or outside the context of trans healthcare.

Also, if you later use the same surgeon for the vaginoplasty, having had an orchi from them before creates more trust and confidence they will be able to use the scrotum as a skin graft, etc.

thank you!! ๐Ÿซถ

51
any vaginoplasty advice? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
 

Things I should bring, or shouldn't bring?

What I should do before and after, or not do?

What are your experiences and sage advice (or just gripes or personal experiences you want to share)?

EDIT:

Related previous posts:

 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/29789039

Theresa Garnett (1888 - 1966)

Thu May 17, 1888

Image


Theresa Garnett, born on this day in 1888, was a militant British suffragette whose acts of feminist rebellion included assaulting Winston Churchill with a whip, shouting "Take that in the name of the insulted women of England!"

Garnett was born in Leeds on May 17th, 1888. In 1907, she joined the Women's Social and Political Union (WSPU) after being inspired by a speech given by the feminist and later co-founder of the Australian Communist Party Adela Pankhurst.

The WSPU fought for women's suffrage in the United Kingdom and was noted for its use of direct action. Its members heckled politicians, held demonstrations and marches, broke the law to force arrests, broke windows in prominent buildings, set fire to post boxes, committed night-time arson of unoccupied houses and churches, and, when imprisoned, went on hunger strike and endured physically traumatizing force-feeding.

Garnett participated in several of these actions as a young adult, chaining herself in 1909, along with four other activists, to a statue in Parliament in protest of a law meant to prohibit disorderly conduct while Parliament was in session.

On November 14th, 1909, Garnett assaulted Winston Churchill, who instituted policies of force feeding suffragettes in prison, with a whip, striking him several times while shouting "Take that in the name of the insulted women of England!"


 

If my account is on Blahaj and the community I moderate is on another instance like lemmy.world, and the user is from an instance we defederate from like hexbear, I won't see the hexbear user's comments (or even their user if I search for it) from my Blahaj instance, and so I don't see a way I can moderate their comments on the lemmy.world instance I moderate.

Does this seem right? Is there any workaround?

(I guess I could make an account on the same instance as the community I moderate just for moderating that instance?)

 
164
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone
 

EDIT: there are a lot of questions being asked that would be clarified by being silly enough to end up in grippysockjail yourself ๐Ÿ˜

 

Considered to be some of the earliest feminist writings, her work includes novels, poetry, and biography, and she also penned literary, historical, philosophical, political, and religious reviews and analyses.

...

Her activism has also drawn the fascination of modern feminists. Simone de Beauvoir wrote in 1949 that ร‰pรฎtre au Dieu d'Amour was "the first time we see a woman take up her pen in defence of her sex".

I would like to read some of her work, but haven't yet.

34
sidebar rule rule (infosec.pub)
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/onehundredninetysix@lemmy.blahaj.zone
 

fucked up question, I know - but ultimately it's a question about suffering and experience of personhood - did "you" really experience the torture for an hour if you don't remember it later?

What about the hour where you were awake and present, before the memory is wiped? How much does that suffering matter? Does the fact that after the torture you won't remember override the suffering you will experience in the present during the torture, relative to suffering you will remember the rest of your life?

 

I love this space and I keep wanting to share photos of outfits I have put together, but I don't know how to do that in a way that protects my privacy ... It seems like a lot of effort to use software to edit the photos to make them safe to share, for example.

I was wanting to check with the community and see how women solve this problem generally, and maybe brainstorm a list of ideas of ways to safely share selfies / photos, here were some ideas I had:

  • take photos with neutral backgrounds that don't disclose private information (e.g. location)
  • use something like an emoji to cover up face
  • find a way to share the photo in a password protected way (with what service?), and only distribute the password to users you trust (unclear on the logistics here)
  • share the photo with an expiration feature, e.g. allowing only a certain number of times to view it (Signal has a feature like this) or that expires after some amount of time

Was wondering how you all find online spaces for women where it's safe to share outfits.

I know on Reddit, some of the subreddits for finding a good bra make every post a spoiler, making it harder for prurient men to easily browse and preview photos, etc.

 

Someone at work that used to be my direct manager had a meeting with me to introduce themselves. They didn't recognize me at all and I didn't want to out myself by disclosing who I was, so I went along with it.

I don't like lying, and when they asked about my work history I was honest even though it created immediate suspicion (how could we have not worked together given when I started working and my job experience?), and I just shrugged. It's obviously a kind of deception to not out myself, and I don't like that - but my instincts say it's better in this context to not out myself.

Probably relevant to the context is that the boss is male, older, conservative, and an immigrant from a non-Western culture that is not open minded about these things.

I am pretty sure based on things they have said in the past that they wouldn't be tolerant of a trans person.

Anyway, to my trans elders: how have you handled situations like this?

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