dandelion

this is such a great response, and thank you for all the work you do to create a safe space 🥰💞💖

What do you actually want to know, here? How we should approach or treat allies who aren't "fully" pro-trans? It might help to expand a little on ways they are imperfect allies, since context makes such a big difference.

For example, an ally that is "live and let live" but doesn't think trans women are really women is a different situation than an ally who believes trans women are women but who has "concerns" about minors having access to gender-affirming care like puberty blockers, and both of those are different than an ally who is not sure they understand non-binary identities or struggles with using they/them pronouns for someone but is trying anyway, and so on.

I think Ada's response was excellent, but was focused on justifying the Blahaj Zone's no tolerance moderation policy, and I'm not sure that's what you wanted to discuss or not.

This article might be a starting point:

https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/the-moderate-case-against-trans-youth

ok, but just so you know, I did not consent

also, pollen contains the male gametes - how is that not dimorphic? Plants vary in their sexual strategies, but I do think it's fair to think of pollen as containers of semen or sperm ... or at least that's always how it's been presented anyway 🤷‍♀️

haha

huh, scrolling through the comments I mostly see comments calling them out for being TERFs, I'm not really seeing any defense of the games themselves.

Excuse me if I'm a bit sensitive, though - I'm both gay and trans, so this group in particular is dangerous to me and I don't really care if the broken clock is right twice a day, I think it's best to call the clock broken.

We don't have any argument here, though - we agree that vile games are vile and it's good they're gone.

not sure anyone thinks the problem here is that these particular games are getting taken down, the larger context and efforts of this group are concerning as it etablishes precedent for them to take the next step in their anti-trans and anti-gay agenda ...

yes, I just don't think cis people will understand dypshoria, even as a trans person I barely understand it tbh - it's enough to just say it doesn't feel good to be misgendered, and anyone seems to be able to understand that

That makes sense. When I first transitioned I was pretty sure I wouldn't get a vaginoplasty, I could settle and live without that - I knew I needed to get an orchiectomy though. I ended up getting both - I got an orchi first and it was very much worth it. Either way, my point is that things can change quickly, I used to be extremely jealous of anyone who could pass as woman-shaped ... now I pass all the time, well beyond what I thought was possible.

Transition is hard everywhere, but as far as I understand it, the challenges in Germany are similar to other places in Europe in terms of very long wait times for heavily gatekept public services. On the other side, at least there are public services accessible for people who otherwise would never afford it, and in the meantime DIY HRT is a possibility.

I'm in the U.S. and the situation here is both worse and better in some ways. I happened to get a good enough insurance plan to cover my vaginoplasty, and had the resources to cover other expenses. Most trans folks don't have that kind of financial situation, and even people privileged enough to have insurance are often denied gender affirming care (I actually was at first too, I had to change insurance entirely when I transitioned). Even with that situation, I still had to face gatekeeping: no gender-affirming procedures would be covered by insurance unless I had been on supervised HRT for at least one year. I also had to get multiple letters from psychologists, one of which had to be "independent" (in my case my hospital had a psychiatric unit that was able to serve this purpose).

Because it's private healthcare in the U.S., the wait times are much better than Europe's public options (more like 6 - 12 months rather than 5 - 10 years).

Honestly, you might look at saving money and trying to go to Thailand for vaginoplasty, that might be the realistic alternative to the public option if that's ever a financial possibility.

Either way, just keep working towards your goals steadily - you might be surprised where you end up. :-)

I don't think you have to get people to understand dysphoria to understand the problem, just use the feminine to refer to a group and the men in the group will understand immediately how off it feels :-)

ebooks are more convenient, paper is more nostalgic