crosswind

joined 2 years ago
[–] crosswind@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Exploring and understanding yourself is an important part of transitioning. It's frustrating and can feel like nothing when you want to be making externally visible changes, but it is real progress, and it matters.

Good luck finding ways to make what changes you can. There's no schedule you have to keep except what you set for yourself.

[–] crosswind@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

You’re talking about opposing racist pieces of shit. For that, absolutely, use bullying, punches, bullets, whatever works. But there you’re not trying to make them better people, the goal is to stop them from saying and doing racist shit.

My issue is when this gets applied to trying to get an okay to change their beliefs. It’s not going to work, and you can talk yourself into doing some fucked up stuff that way.

Not bullying someone doesn’t mean being nice and holding their hand, it means not trying to make their life hell. You can still be harsh, blunt, and forceful when calling things out. That’s different from bullying.

I think we should be aware of when it’s an appropriate tool to use, and not treat any criticism of bullying like it’s a call to give a klansman a hug.

[–] crosswind@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I think this is where the problem is. You can't bully someone into having better beliefs. You can bully them into shutting up and being scared to say their shitty opinions out loud. There's a lot of people where achieving that would be great, and for them "bullying works". But believing that "bullying works" to actually change people for the better leads to some awful behavior, and it's an issue that a lot of people on this site accept it.

[–] crosswind@hexbear.net 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Remember when people called mike bloomberg an oligarch, and others were defending him by citing webster’s dictionary or whatever to say that an oligarch can only be from russia by definition.

An american billionaire has to be a sparkling entrepreneur.

[–] crosswind@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago

Friends have been using my pronouns. My family stopped using any pronouns for me. I'll take that as a win.

[–] crosswind@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Either keep your compound words to a reasonable length, or get rid of spaces entirely and have one word per paragraph.

[–] crosswind@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's crazy how variable pronoun usage of any kind is once you start paying attention to it. Like, you'd think a fairly consistent percentage of the words of any conversation would be pronouns, but a lot of the time it's either a drought or a downpour.

Anyway for like a month my friends have just naturally not used my pronouns, and my family has been misgendering me like crazy, and I am gritting my teeth waiting for it to start swinging the other way.

[–] crosswind@hexbear.net 83 points 1 year ago (1 children)

People criticized Obama for performatively pretending to drink water, and now here's Biden actually drinking water. Sometimes we just need to maturely accept incremental progress and not let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

[–] crosswind@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago

I can't imagine why we have this emoji other than for this exact moment.

[–] crosswind@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Like when you wrap a rubber band around something, but it's too loose so you twist it and wrap it around again. If you do that, there's always a twist somewhere in the length of the rubber band, but if you wrap it a third time, you can get rid of the twist. I tried it and I got it to do the same thing with five wraps, but I had to be careful about which directions I made the twists. Then I manged to take the rubber band off while keeping its shape, and got it to sit as a stack of five loops.

[–] crosswind@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

Ah! I needn’t worry

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