cosecantphi

joined 5 years ago
[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Damn, did the bot accounts finally block this comm or something? I suppose we will need to manually serve as our own bump bots from now on

 

Still stuck in the inhumanity of job searching with autism and no drivers license, and if not for the solidarity of comrades on Hexbear these past few months I'd have been absolutely screwed.

I'm looking for 30 to 40 dollars so I can run to the store and stock up for the week, but any amount would be extremely helpful and appreciated. My cashapp and venmo accounts are both under the handle cosecantphi

EDIT: Goal reached! Thanks so much to our dedicated comrade bumpers and generous comrade donors here on c/mutual_aid. I eagerly await the day my situation is stabilized so I can pay it forward. heart-sickle

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 0 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Yeah the guy goes through a very well written radicalization arc. Starts the show being an insufferable liberal, ends it supporting the revolution he fought against. Don't expect any kind of real leftist theory from this anime, but it at least wears genuine anti-imperialism on its sleeve.

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

Thanks comrade, they really can be the worst.

She seems to have some kind of stigma for making edibles. I have no idea why. When she initially found out I was making edibles, she said she prefer if I just smoke weed in the backyard at night when no one is home, or if I'd just buy prepared edibles.

I don't enjoy smoking very much, and edibles are too expensive to just buy them. I think my initial refusal to follow her exact orders and my following refusal to move out after breaking her ultimatum, plus my dads refusal to help her kick me out made her feel powerless over the situation, because that's when she called armed men to confront me over this.

 

She regularly uses cannabis vape pods.

I had no idea she would explode on me about this because I had already previously told her I was using cannabis, that I was paying for it, and that it greatly helped me with my social anxiety and depression. It also was greatly aiding me in my weight loss, and I'm currently the healthiest I've ever felt in my life. So yesterday I started making my edibles like it was no big deal because I thought the heart to heart I had with her about it patched things up. I legitimately thought she'd be happy for me. Well the moment she smelled it in the oven, she stormed into the kitchen, suddenly she threatened to kick me out, threatened to stop paying for all medical care I'm currently receiving, and when I didn't give in, she started begging my elderly father to intervene, nearly gave my dad a heart attack the way she reacted to me consuming this plant like it was bloody murder. I had been open about this with him for months and he doesn't have a problem with it.

I was making edibles with preground weed because it's so much cheaper to buy, I picked up a couple eighths for $10. Apparently though my mom had never heard of the concept of baking weed in the oven to decarb it, and started screaming at me like I was insane. I'm thinking she thought that maybe smelling it might mean she's also smoking it, that's my speculation on why she reacted like this, anyway. I currently don't use any other drugs on a daily basis not prescribed to me by a doctor. Though seven years ago I had a problem with opiates that I've since solved with Buprenorphine maintenance, for context. Once I realized this might be about the smell I turned off the oven and put away the foil pouch of weed, but that wasn't enough.

She gave my dad an ultimatum to kick me out or she'd be calling the cops. I refused to stop using weed, I told her I'll avoid using cannabis when she's home like I had been doing previously, but I would not be sacrificing my mental health at her arbitrary whim. My dad started having a panic attack, got in his car, and drove away. The cops arrived, explained this wasn't their responsibility, and they left. I am very glad my dogs and I are still alive. I have autism and thought this might be the end of me.

My dad returned a few hours later. It is now the next day and no one has breathed a word of this since my little brother returned from work.

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I think it's interesting and like thinking about it.

EDIT: To expand upon that, in all of the psychoactive substance taking I've done in all of my life, I have never managed to quite reach the point of death, thankfully. But I have pushed my brain into some very weird states that make me question whether the default state is actually privileged in some way. That no matter how far you push things, there might still be an experience there. The only times which I've lacked an experience to recount are with drugs that interrupt memory formation. In those cases I can't be quite sure to what degree my subjective experienced was distorted, or even whether it existed at all. That kind of makes it personal and interesting to me even if it's not really a scientific conversation.

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

thanks, i appreciate it!

 

I see this discussion come up a lot and it always results in arguments that I think maybe come about as a result of a lack of agreed upon definitions for certain terms, so I'll start there. Here are some definitions that make sense to me surrounding the hard problem of consciousness, would love to hear if anyone else has had the same thoughts:

Subjective experience:
Essentially the range of qualia that I can say exists because I experience them. It's the information you receive from your senses that is not quantifiable. For example, a description of the color red, no matter how detailed and scientifically accurate, will ever allow a person who has never experienced sight to understand what the color red looks like.

The mind and body:
The physical apparatus through which animals like us interact with the world. From the body we receive the necessary sensory information and nourishment to exert our will on the world. With the mind we interpret all sensory information gathered from the world.

Vast neural networks read, interpret, alter and conduct data received from the body's various sensory organs. Our brains begin this process with inherited patterns of basic cognition. Certain neural pathways calcify from repeated activity, forming memories: a catalogue of previous experiences we attribute importance to. Memories, guided by our upbringing, form a scaffold with which personality forms around, totally unique to the circumstances of any individual. But at no point in this fundamentally material process do we see the necessity for qualia, subjective experience. Theoretically, would a fully accurate computer simulated brain not also experience qualia if we know for a fact that we do?

The ongoing process described above is how most people would describe consciousness. We find that messing with certain parts of the brain can interrupt consciousness, and therefore memory formation, but how can we be sure that some fundamental sensation never ends, totally divorced from the body and mind?

People who get too drunk may not remember it later, but they were certainly conscious at the time. If there exists some feeling before conception and after death, no one can know because the dead can't speak and the living don't remember it.

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Thought the tilde were minus signs for a second. That'd be more line with expectations, like who the fuck uses twitter still?

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

oh god thanks so much, if you could send a few cents extra as a buffer that'd be great

 

God I just really need a break right now, things haven't been going my way lately, to say the least.

My venmo and cashapp are both under cosecantphi, DM for paypal info

Thanks, c/mutual aid.

EDIT: Thanks!

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Honestly, I'm not sure if the Republicans would settle for just pushing to end the electoral college like the Democratic base already does. Especially considering this chain of events would result in Democrats suddenly vigorously supporting the electoral college.

Like, I'd expect another Jan 6 but bigger. That said, it remains to be seen whether "Jan 6 but bigger" is anything but "Jan 6 but funnier"

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In 2020, Biden's eyeball exploded and filled up with blood during a primary debate, and he called Bernie Mr. President multiple times. No one gave a shit but chuds and Bernie supporters. It seems like the lib media was just willfully ignorant about this shit until now, Biden must be even worse off behind closed doors, otherwise I'm not sure why the debate would change things quite this much.

 

I really thought I had a job lined up. I was supposed to show up to sign papers and make things official last week and simply never heard back. I tried calling the stupid place and can't get anyone on the phone who knows what the hell I'm talking about, so it looks like I'm in limbo again.

Getting ghosted in your personal life is sad, but getting ghosted by supposed professionals while looking for work is both infuriating and sad.

Looking for about $30 today, but any amount is very helpful. My venmo and cashapp are both under the handle cosecantphi. DM me for paypal info.

I appreciate you, donors and bumpers of c/mutual_aid. The one place on the internet that cares about people who are struggling.

EDIT: Reached my goal for today, thanks so much to the two donors who helped out!

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

By far the scariest things humans have ever made on purpose. Can you imagine a world history where somehow nukes are easier to make and invented far sooner?

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Anyone remember that movie Elysium where Matt Damon is this working class dude on future Earth (which is basically Palestine but they speak Spanish) and all the rich people are on this giant spinning ring space station called Elysium but is actually Israel?

Well anyway this made me think of that scene where he's working at the robot factory and the door to an industrial robot radiation sanitizing oven is blocked by cargo. His asshole manager makes him go in the oven to dislodge the door against safety protocol. The moment he gets the door unstuck it snaps shut, the oven door locks, and the radiation alarm sounds as the oven floods the chamber and Matt Damon with ionizing radiation. His coworkers desperately try to pry the door open to no avail.

He wakes up later in a hospital bed, fired from his job. An automated robot doctor prescribes him anti-emetics for nausea and tells him he's been exposed to a lethal dose of radiation and has weeks to live. Then he's discharged from the hospital. That's it, no help, assistance or care from that point forward. He must illegally use a robotic exoskeleton to smuggle himself onto Elysium to try to gain access to one of their magic healing pods.

[–] cosecantphi@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Oh shit, great idea. I'd like to merge r/pharmacy and r/medicine with r/ADHD and r/ChronicPain. Just for the legendary dunkings the latter two would wrought on the former two.

 

RIP to my old Minecraft world from 2019 on this 2.5 inch HDD I now use as a mirror for shaving

 

Still a couple weeks out from finally having a source of income again and I really appreciate having this place to fall back on for small things like this. I can't tell you how much it helps my anxiety that paying for food and other daily necessities is not constantly at at the forefront of my mind. Thank you for that Hexbear, any amount no matter how small is very helpful!

DM me for paypal information, my cashapp and venmo are under the same username I use here.

EDIT: Goal reached! Thank you!

 

(Initially posted in c/drugs but thought it would get more engagement here)

I was thinking about the way cannabis is increasingly legal in the US, and I'm starting to see it as a symptom of balkanization in this country that might start to become the model for the legalization of other drugs.

To explain: In most places in the US it is either legal or de facto legal despite the fact that until this year it was federally considered a schedule I controlled substance alongside Heroin, LSD, and many other widely known recreational drugs. For decades the federal government considered cannabis to be wholly unsuitable for all medical use and too dangerous for scientists to even research. They dedicated vast resources into destroying cannabis farms and putting cannabis users, dealers, and growers into prison. It was in a legal category more severe than fentanyl and many of its analogues.

Without even changing those laws, we got to a place where most states decided to just hand out licenses to businesses to grow and sell it, and allow anyone over the age of 21 to buy it.

I think the research chemical scene has by now made it clear that recreational drugs are not a finite group. New drugs are invented all the time. In the same way, new plants containing psychoactive compounds are either discovered or popularized all the time. They do not necessarily start their lives in the public consciousness with stigma, and they can be just as benign or deadly, euphoric or dysphoric, sedating or stimulating, psychedelic or inebriating as any classic, widely known drug.

The way the federal government categorized drugs and the way the DEA enforced drug law was never rational when you approach it from the goal of reducing the harm drugs cause socially. In actuality it was always about maintaining a legal and socially acceptable avenue for continuing this country's legacy of racism and slavery.

What this means is that which new drugs are to be banned, which are to be ignored, and which are to be accepted is an entirely local matter determined by which marginalized communities can be connected to each drug for purpose of stigmatization. With increasing social disunity across the states, we might begin to see certain drugs became wide spread and tolerated in certain states but treated with extreme hostility elsewhere. A situation like this would paralyze the ability of the DEA to gain enough cooperation from local law enforcement to curtail production and distribution, leading to decrease in stigmatization and eventually the relaxation in attitudes even in places where the stigmatization began.

 

I can't believe I got another offer so soon after turning down the scab job a couple weeks ago. I thought I'd be in limbo for months after that.

Still, I'm unlikely to see a paycheck until mid July at this rate, so I need some money to get by until then. I think about $50 should cover me for now. Any amount helps, handle is cosecantphi on cashapp and venmo. DM me for paypal info.

EDIT: Thanks to the two people who donated ten dollars each! That's a great help! Just need $30 more now to cover my expenses for the next week. Though I only need $10 more to make sure I don't accidentally overdraft my account later today.

 

About a month ago I got ghosted by my first real job just a couple months in, and it happened at a real inconvenient stage in my life. I didn't qualify for unemployment, so I was just kinda fucked and had to deal with it entirely on my own. I did manage to save some money during those two months, but now I'm running out and finding another job has been more challenging than I thought it would be.

My mother works at a grocery store, and she told me she'd talk to her manager about getting me hired there too. Couple dollars more than local min wage, night stocking shelves, which I actually enjoy doing so long as I'm not pushed into working at a ridiculous pace. So she set me up with an interview with her manager, and here's where I find out it's a temporary position opening up because her union is about to go on strike. The manager is telling me I might have to cross a picket line. My own mother set me up to scab at her workplace, and she didn't tell me.

Needless to say, I felt betrayed. She also feels betrayed at me for not taking the job. Lots of feelings of betrayal going around. So I'm back at square one, running out of money.

I need help paying for my Buprenorphine prescription this month and the next, and have no where to turn right now but Hexbear. It's 60 dollars with GoodRX, so I need to raise $120. I saw some other comrades in bad situations have actually been receiving judgement free aid here, and that's honestly fucking amazing.

If any comrade in a better position can help, here's my cashapp details: (removed payment link as per new rules) EDIT: I now have a Venmo account set up. (removed payment link as per new rules)

EDIT2: So far you've all raised $70! That's very helpful, I appreciate it so much. Just need another $50. EDIT3: Total donations at $90, only 30 more to go!

EDIT4: Thanks to all of you I've now hit my goal of $120. It'll be so nice for my mental health to not have to worry about this stuff for a little while. I want you all to know I appreciate this so much, and I hope to pay it forward when my situation becomes stable.

EDIT5: Removed payment links as per new rules.

 

For purpose of discussion, assume that due to bad luck, this asteroid has evaded the detection of all amateur and professional astronomers until about six months from impact. The asteroid is too large to deflect with humanity's current spacefaring capabilities, and the general scientific consensus is that the impact will end all multicellular life on Earth.

What do those six months look like?

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