confusedpuppy

It's hard watching the people around me make the same mistakes they always make and complain about the same mistakes they always make.

It's hard watching large organizations and states make the same mistakes they always make and blame everyone else for the mistakes they always make. Even when history proves them wrong.

I can never understand why people argue for 8+ billion people on this planet when we collectively refuse to learn from mistakes.

I'm tired...

I'm pretty sure I had my mid-life crisis at 25. I let myself get fired from my job. Then I donated everything I owned and lived out of a 34 liter backpack for a few years while I travelled and lived abroad.

My entire life is still a constant crisis but that's just background noise ringing like tinnitus.

This weekend I got to see the baby chicks from the Mourning Doves that are nesting in a planter on our backyard's deck railing.

They are so tiny and fuzzy but I think they'll soon be too big for the parents to sit on anymore.

I love that they always come back every summer to nest there. I get to see fuzzy little babies each year.

Yeah, I tried listening and I wasn't sure if I heard a low hum or not. If there was any noise it was too quiet for me to hear.

They are still sitting on the chicks but I have a feeling that won't be for much longer now.

I'll usually hear the other dove throughout the day calling from the neighbours rooftop but the nesting dove never makes a noise.

I usually play some chill music when I'm out there but my shuffle played some punk music and the nesting dove was extremely curious. Tried playing a bunch of different genres after that but punk seems to get the the genre that gets it curious and moving around a bit. Definitely wasn't feeling it for anything metal though.

It wasn't until my first job at a grocery store during Christmas time that I learned it was "Feliz Navidad" being sung.

Before that, I couldn't figure out why the cheerful song that only appeared around Christmas time was saying "Police shot my dad"

Being forced to read between the lines because other people are afraid of being honest with themselves is exhausting, frustrating and confusing.

Often that dishonesty comes in the form of manipulation. They want me to continue treating them the way that I do while offering nothing in return except to tear me down for treating everyone else the same way I treat them.

At least that's my perspective from my experiences.

The only people I want to be around these days are those that can embrace being honest with themselves and the people they surround themselves with. I no longer tolerate being forced to read subtle cues that conflict with what they say and do.

One of the many reasons I quit the trades so dramatically was because I couldn't stand all the unasked advice coming from older men.

If I wanted to be old, miserable, full of hate for my wife and children, full of hate at other people for expressing themselves, full of hate for myself and own a giant savings account full of money I can't enjoy because my body is too broken, then sure I'll listen to what you will say. But I don't want that. I want to be happy with all the nothing I own.

I even went and tattooed both my arms full just to signal that I am dedicated to my mistakes. I'd rather be broke and myself than to live the shallow, object filled existence that they want to live. Where these old miserable men see mistakes, I see experiences and the chance to learn.

Fuck 'em.

I was burying veggie scraps under the snow and leaves during the winter so it likely came from that, but I'll keep that in mind when it comes time to harvest them :)

I didn't add compost to this garden bed this year. I did throw all the household's veggie scraps into that bed during the winter so it likely came from there.

My new compost pile is even lazier this summer as I just throw layers of veggie scraps with layers of greens from my garden cuttings. I'm pretty sure there's more seeds in that pile somewhere.

Whatever happens, happens. Surprises are fun :)

Awesome, I had terrible luck starting seeds this year. At least I have something to harvest this year other than cucumbers, tomatoes and red mustard leaves.

My chaos garden is full of surprises this year

Ah, it sounds similar to how I want to set up my headerless Raspberry Pi 5. I've been slowly learning tmux as well but it's nice to have detached sessions. I'll eventually add WeeChat as a sort of IRC bouncer for myself.

Right now it's just hosting a simple file server and a copy of Wikipedia. I've also been looking at BashWrite and Bash Static Site Generator as a simple command line blog to host for myself.

I quite enjoy the text only work environment. It's far less distracting :)

Sounds good, I'll check them out and see where I go from there :)