canadianchik

Idk I believe people can change :( I know it probably won’t ever happen tbh. But it’s the fantasy in my head.

Is it bad that I would take him back if everything became okay? I just wish we could talk about everything in person. I never got to, when we met, we didn’t and I am so mad about that. He should’ve done it. But he didn’t. He broke up and didn’t talk through anything. I just want him back :/ but I know reality. What kills ne now is the idea that I feel like I am not worth fighting for

I wish I could but

1. my parents wouldn’t let me
2. I have school rn
3. low funds

the urge to text him… but i know there is no point.

i dont know the intention, i just missed my old friends. theyre online tho

she said shes happier eh ;c i dont wanna know the answer i may get from him. i know hes hurting but fuck

The thought of another man disgusts me.

I just want him :/

I’m going to try to go out and get some sun today. I stayed in all day yesterday and today so far.. just been eating and wanting to sleep. I’m so tired. But I’m going to grab a book, some music, walk, and see what happens then.

I did something horrible too the past couple days. I added like two people back who I used to game with all the time (one I had a sexual past with). My loneliness got to me. I regret doing this because I see no point of it. But now I feel guilt :/ one person added me on Snapchat and I asked who they were to also find out they were someone I did something with. I didn’t remove them…why? Why do I do dumb stuff when I’m lonely. I would not go see a guy or do anything as of now or anytime soon tbh, I am not ready, but why did I add these people… I feel like a horrible person. They all reached out and hoped I’m doing okay. 2 of them know I had to remove them because I knew it was the right thing to do.

I’m fighting crazy urges to not text him.. the urge to ask him if he’s satisfied with the closure or not is killing me. I wanna see his face again in PERSON so fucking bad, I want to hug him, I want to play with his hair, I want to kiss his face 🥺 I want to just be with him, in his presence, even if it’s quiet.

And yep, these messages will be very different then than now.

You will and so will I, but we just won’t ever know how long it’ll take :| I can’t imagine myself falling for another guy to be honest. Went out the other day for my friends bday and her bf brought his friend so I don’t third wheel and I t made me miss him 100x more. Also saw someone who resembled him and tried to not cry on the street, I can’t have ruined her bday. But damn it hurt like a bitch.