bubbalu

https://hexbear.net/post/1581113?scrollToComments=false

There has always been two levels of copycat recursion since forever. There was a movie based on a play (english) based on a play (fr*nch) all the way bac to the 30s

No. Blowing up Suleimani with a predator drone was not an assassination. No. Blowing up Saleh al-Arouri with a drone was not an assassination.

Assassination requires a scheme or subterfuge. It's creeping up on someone or setting up for the perfect moment. An entire military department directing a distance strike at a convenient moment is not an assassination, it is an act of war.

Assassination is ALSO generally an act of war but the method and context is different.

(down by sites, comments)

For instance, a lot of posts the top comment receives 2/3s the upvotes as the post itself. That means a lot of people are reading the comments!

I know I usually read them for news posts because the conversation is usually insightful.

From the worst comment of the year shared by @

E: why everyone is talking about 'Red Hot Chilis Peppers' below?
EE: plz stop pepperposting

cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/1472978

And I like mezcal, I like compari (that's why I could even make it!) but this is just one of the most fetid unpleasant drinks I have ever made. The bite of the mezcal is too cut by the compari, and the herbal notes lose their top notes and just leave you with the dry feeling on the back of your tongue. All the goodness is lost. No joy remains.

Give this to your curious teen and they will gladly stay sober until the day they move out. Jesus.

And I like mezcal, I like compari (that's why I could even make it!) but this is just one of the most fetid unpleasant drinks I have ever made. The bite of the mezcal is too cut by the compari, and the herbal notes lose their top notes and just leave you with the dry feeling on the back of your tongue. All the goodness is lost. No joy remains.

Give this to your curious teen and they will gladly stay sober until the day they move out. Jesus.

Introduction
Kill the cop in your head! Seek to understand for yourself why you do what you do. Redefine what is necessary behavior. So with masking, I reflected and realized I did it to feel safe and acceptable in 4 spheres: 1) the occupational sphere, 2) the general public (i.e. the store, about town), 3) with friends, 4) with myself. After a lot of reflection and with support from my partner, I was able to realize that I was extending the constraints of the most limiting sphere (#1) to all of the others. That is to say, I was more regulated than necessary to meet my desire for safety. To be more straightforward, I was able to see I could still feel safe and accepted when I unmasked. For me, that was the precondition.

Why Unmask
Extended metaphors and schema work really well for me. So I need to explain mine to explain why I unmasked. Your language or conception might differ, but I think the motivation is generally applicable. Overall I view my energy as bandwidth that is allocated to different thought processes, stressors, and the like. Certain things passively consume bandwidth. For instance, I have a physical disability that occupies about 5% of my bandwidth at all times, and more when I am managing it poorly. Or when i have many upcoming obligations but no calendar, I use bandwidth trying to keep my schedule in mind. Bandwidth not used passively is what is available for productive work, hobbies, interests, spirituality, presence and immediacy, creativity. Too much passive use creates a stress response in my body—this also uses up bandwidth and is a positive feedback loop. Consequently, I seek to minimize my passive bandwidth usage.

And masking uses up a lot of passive bandwidth! I joke and call it 'my affect chip'. Like I have different voices and personas for different settings. Some of them are even fun to inhabit. However, I do not need to be using that bandwidth up all of the damn time, especially when I am alone, with lovers, with friends. Letting go of masking in certain spheres has made my life overall more manageable, more pleasant, and has allowed me to be more present. Like there is a positive feedback loop with my overwhelm response, there has been a positive feedback loop with unmasking. Since I have more energy with myself, I am more present with myself and better able to handle disruptions and challenges; i.e. I am more resillient. It also leads to cute moments like last night where I woke up to get some water, walked into my clean kitchen, got excited that it was finally clean, and didn't repress myself from stimming like I did as a child when I was excited! I noticed what I was doing and that I felt very little shame about it, and that made me feel even better.

How to Unmask/How I Unmasked

1. Determine why you mask, what need or desire is fulfilled by masking. For instance: safety (avoiding bullying), ability to meet expectations of employment context (still a safety need since capitalism necessitates work for survival), aesthetics, beauty standards, etc.
2. Determine if the same need is present in all spheres in which you mask. For instance: Work, General Public, Family, Political Org, Distant Friends/Group Settings, Close Friends, Intimates, Self.
3. Determine whether or what degree of masking is actually necessary to fulfill your needs. If you found multiple needs, especially if needs that necessitate masking are different between contexts, it is necessary to find the degree of masking you feel is necessary for each need-context pair.
4. Determine what your masking behaviors are. Determine what needs they address or may be intended to address. Note: this will probably occur organically throughout this whole reflection. This step may be placed prior to step 3, too, depending on what feels constructive.
5. Determine what masking behaviors are actually necessary in each context, and be liberated from the ones that are not. Most of the progress will come from this step, but the others are necessary for it to be effective.

Conclusion
Even if fully unmasking feels unsafe and unacceptable, we can normalize and embrace our beautiful selves for ourselves. Shame and guilt are the least useful feelings that exist. Thank them for pointing to an incorrect attitude or behavior and Let Them Go! Kill the cop in your head and liberate your mind!

Very happy silly little moment. I could not stop laughing when I got this notification from an older comrade.