blight

Crushposting:

They recommended me one of their favorite books which I borrowed, and then they borrowed it from me while I was reading it because they were so hyped about it. Eventually we sat together with it and they showed me their favorite chapters.

While I would have loved to have sat like that for a couple more hours, I felt compelled, nay, duty-bound, to remind them that they indeed had more pressing matters to attend to, since I wouldn’t want to [checks notes] ruin their life.

I accompanied them a bit of the way home again, and got to play out the trite romantic fantasy of sheltering them with my umbrella, upon which they complimented my chivalry, and I claimed to be nothing of the sort, and I also pointed out that their jacket had a hood that they weren’t using, to which they mumbled some excuses about it being worn out (which might be true, they were indeed struggling with the zipper earlier).

Our loose plans about not-quite-hanging-out got turned into fixed plans, and I finally found the courage to ask to exchange phone numbers, which we did. (And I’m not stupid, I won’t abuse this newfound power.)

my internal monologue rn

i just meant i was soaking them, but holy shit you are really making beans from scratch

making beans

I wish America a very die

seasonal

you're saying Maurice ... slowed down ...

Crushposting:

I hadn’t really considered that if I tell my crush directly, they would 99% tell their friend anyways. In the end they will both find out. So if I talk to the friend first, I at least get to hear their advice before I talk to my crush, as well as the friend of course potentially giving me a clean out with my crush completely unbothered.

This is your brain on love, kids: unable to make the most basic logical connections for months on end. Don’t do drugs!

Crushposting:

I was obsessing the entire last night, thinking “I really need to make literally any progress” and then when I met their friend today, my thought was like “nah, they’re too busy with their own problems, I don’t want to bother them at this moment”. And it’s true that they indeed have their own problems right now, but everyone will always have some problems at any time, and I sure didn’t make literally any progress today, which means I will likely obsess the entirety of this night as well. Fun times!

Plus that other org member who was annoying towards my crush is creating new mostly unrelated drama, and I feel like either I’m the worst suited or the best suited to figuring out how to read that situation. Mostly they just have bad vibes, but I also can’t shake the feeling that they’re a bit ⚠️ aggressive and don’t respect boundaries ⚠️. I don’t have any proof and it’s all just vibes (but isn’t vibes all there is to go by until it’s too late!?) and I might be hypervigilant because of my own crush but that’s how the situation is and I hate it.

Toastify is awesome!

I see it this way: the bear website kept me relatively sane in my worst periods. If I only had reddit/twitter/fb/etc my brain would have turned to mush as I lost all hope in humans. It's only because I still have some sanity left that I am now able to make a tentative attempt at making irl friends.

warm