backalleycoyote

Truly, we misunderestimated him.

ICE is Paul Blart incompetence with Chauvin lethality. As brutal as US cops are, they still require some sort of qualification; smart enough to know how to escalate but avoid making it their fault, mind fuck interrogations, telling people their rights then weaseling their way around it without quite “violating” it, hierarchy and teamwork. ICE is the rabble of those who couldn’t even meet that standard and the ones who did but were so unhinged they became a liability.

Bilbo and the dwarves mistook the rock giants as fighting when it’s was just foreplay.

I hope so, but I haven’t seen it disproven yet. Dude in my neighborhood has one of a cartoon Trump at the beach surrounded by bikini girls that are not quite kids but definitely implied that says “Chillin’ Like a Felon”, so the sentiment exists and them grifting pro-pedo merch seems like the logical next step.

Deport them to another plane of existence. Think of it as expediting the Rapture, except after they’re gone there’s no Armageddon, just a big block party with tacos and beer for all.

When I was in high school our math teacher took us out to the corner of the school property to count cars for a real life statistics lesson. The lawn was covered in clover and she offered extra credit to anyone who found a four-leaf clover. That’s the day she discovered four-leaf clovers aren’t that uncommon.

I live in Idaho and guarantee this will be used by chucklefucks to not only harass trans people, but cis women who don’t fit their standard of beauty and effeminate cis men. Not that they don’t already, but now they can really fuck with someone by calling the cops and disrupting the person’s day rather than just snide comments.

I guess I’d always taken balls to be more like a bouncy ball than a ball of yarn, but TIL. Also added “my balls unraveling” to the list of lurking fears.

In high school I got one kicked back into my body by a wild kick in a soccer game, dude straight punted that thing into my guts. Then it swelled and refused to drop. Almost had to have surgery but it did descend on its own. I’ve had some other serious injuries in life but that, that was a level all its own.

Sing, drink, fight, and fuck (without discrimination). Bards are the punks of the fantasy world.

Her: “Babe, just use the map.”

Him: “I know what I’m doing!!!”

/proceeds to furiously grind her vulva into her pelvic bone