amethyst

Here is some previous discussion on whether to defederate from them due to worries about their moderation capacity (and how it leads to spam/etc): https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/1671319

So far, it seems that most of the spam etc isn’t making it through to people, which is great! It means we can keep things going as they are without it impacting people too much. Please use this thread to let me know if that changes though

This is such a shitty way to frame it.

I think folk should default to neutral pronouns, especially in trans safe spaces. But phrasing a failure to do so it as "misgendering trans people" is jumping straight to the most absolute bad-faith interpretation.

Then further, saying that anyone who does it is "a transphobe" is way off base. (It reminds me of Contrapoint's bit about essentialism)

It's also notable to me that you're not asking for e.g. any change of policy here. You're not trying to improve the way this instance is run to discourage folk from using masculine defaults.

You're using this incident only to wage war against someone you were already in conflict with, and assuming that anyone who steps in and criticizes your behavior is taking sides in that conflict.

Agreeing with WontonSoup here:

Compartmentalize things so they all handle one thing individually and then you call those things from a main class is generally the way you’d do it.

OP, one common approach here is that code for calling to an external dependency should be split out into its own module that's called from some central place. That's a fairly natural way to organize code that tends to provide a good separation of concerns -- a lot of the times there's some sort of messy logic about calling an api or pulling something from the database, and its nice to have all that set aside from the core logic of what your app is actually doing.

As an app grows more complicated, you often end up wanting to add some additional layer. The result is a three-fold division at a high level: One "outer" layer dealing with the triggering context (e.g. an incoming http request), one core layer that handles any business/domain logic, and a third layer for handling all external dependencies. Then in each layer, you'd split things into specific files/modules based on grouped functionality.

There are a lot of specific ways of implementing this arrangement (and a lot of ways it can break down!), but the main point is to prevent certain types of complexity from creeping into places its not necessary. You want a structure that's easy to test, easy to reason about and navigate, and is easy to modify going forward.

In your case it sounds like you could start pretty simply:

1. An outer module/file for dealing with the triggering condition and its environment (which could be handling an http request, an executable invocation, a messaging bus signal, a scheduled job trigger, however you've set this up to run once/hour!)
2. A core module that orchestrates the details of the process.
3. One file/module each per type of external dependency.

Likely #2 could be folded into #1 for a simple project like you have in mind. It is still a good idea to at least separate it into its own method. :) You'll inevitably want to run it on demand (whether testing manually, or writing some sort of unit/integration test.)

I can't think of anything less trans-friendly than mandatory pronoun marking.

I quite liked this quote from Isabel Fall (more about identity than pronouns specifically, but still related!)

“We make boxes that seem to enclose a satisfying number of human experiences, and then we put labels on those and argue about them instead,” she says. “The boxes change over time, according to a process which is governed by, as far as I can tell, cycles of human suffering: We realize that forcing people into the last set of boxes was painful and wrong, we wring our hands, we fold up some new boxes and assure ourselves that this time we got it right, or at least right enough for now. Because we need the boxes to argue over. I do not want to be in a box. I want to sift through your fingers, to vanish, to be unseen.”

This doesn't seem to be normal, but I found laser maybe two order of magnitude more painful than electrolysis

From reading other's accounts, I find laser more painful than typical, and electro less painful. I once even came close to falling asleep during an electrolysis session.

I had a mix of dark+white hair when I started. Laser did get a bit more bearable over time, but I think that's just because there was almost no dark hair left to zap.

Other than the pain, laser was better on most other dimenions (My skin recovered faster, the sessions are shorter and less often, you don't have to skip shaving for a couple of days, etc.)

I think it's a weirdly over-the-top response to the situation described here: https://www.polygon.com/23823516/dnd-dungeons-dragons-wizards-ai-art-controversy-bigby-presents-glory-of-the-giants

I guess I'm kind of confused -- by "on here" do you mean in this community, on blahaj.zone, or just on lemmy in general?

(I have not run into transphobia in any of those places, but I stick to a pretty small set of communities)

They've said they're paying out of pocket, though the only stat I've seen is that it's "significantly" more than $20 a month (which... could be basically anything lol.)

There's a thread here with that info: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/1106021

They've merged a fix for an additional cause of this now, PR#3428

The issue fixed there is that posts older than 1 week weren't getting their scores recalculated except on startup. I'm not entirely clear on whether that would explain all the instances of this I've seen on blahaj, but I guess in time we'll see?

r/egg_irl had pretty strong rules about that too -- probably because you also have to deal with people uploading photos of others, and its way easier (given the focus of the place) to just ban them completely.

From what little I've looked into, it matters how much you keep down there if you later want a vaginoplasty (because it changes what they have to work with.)

What sometimes helped me with these things is to visualize doing them first -- to kind of run through what's going to happen in your head. You could even kind of write out a short script of what you're going to say, and practice it in your head!

Also, don't stress it too much if you back out a few times. I think I even got as far as starting to dial the number once before getting too anxious and abandoning it once. Because it's something you want to do, you just have to keep trying and eventually you'll be ok! :)