alwaysconfused

Reading articles like these really makes me believe I am autistic. Fortunately I have a doctor appointment soon to see about a proper diagnosis.

I was terminated a year ago from my last job for speaking out against the abusive behaviour of management as well as all the hate and bigotry from the tradespeople working on the workshop floor. That didn't go over well so I went to corporate and was assisting them with an investigation into the abuse at my company. Unfortunately that investigation had to be halted as my company fired me conveniently after I made a call to the employee hotline about all the abusive behaviour. I was advised to call the hotline by corporate so they weren't too happy with my company. So unhappy that they refused to represent them at the labour board regarding my wrongful termination case.

I think what was interesting about the whole experience was that many of my coworkers could not comprehend that I did all this to help my fellow coworkers. I wanted change so we could all be treated with dignity. Even now with the lawyer involved, they think I'm in it for the payout. I do not care about the money. I want change. I want accountability. Fortunately I have a couple people in my life that understand that and are encouraging me to follow what I think is right. Everyone else thinks I'm an idiot and there are no words to describe how confusing that truly is.

!Terrariums@kbin.social would fit under hobbies.

I'm hoping in the future it can grow and expand to other communities like bioactive. It's one of the niche communities I miss from reddit.

I agree. And to add to this, you can usually find portfolios of an artist's work through their shop website and/or instagram page.

I spent about 4 hours looking up shops and their artist's portfolios before finding a style I thought best fits me.

Personally, I like to give a concept, idea, or a few elements for my artist to work with. She in return will tell me her perspective or understanding of what I said along with additional suggestions. She's been great so far so I haven't really had to ask for changes in her designs but the option is always there. Your skin, your body so the final design choice will be up to you.

I've also tried looking up tattoos using search engine and websites for generating ideas but it seems these days there are an over abundance of pictures, it gets overwhelming. I find it easier talking directly with the artists.

I said 'could' because written history of Australia wasn't really a thing before Europeans arrived and starting documenting their findings. At least as far as I understand.

However I watched this video which talks about aboriginal land management and references European perspectives of Australia when they first arrived. It seems it was often described as a "gentleman's park" or "a landlord's estate." This video also provides quite a few sources.

This paper talks about indigenous land management and how it was disrupted after the arrival of the British. However it's main focus is in Tasmania and not the main land but still shows the destructive nature of the British newcomers.

To me it seems like a lot of this greener Australia perspective comes from a book called The Biggest Estate on Earth: How Aborigines Made Australia which is referenced in the video I linked. This article briefly talks about the book and gives a little insight to aboriginal land management, European knowledge and their misconceptions.

In the end, I'm just some person on the internet and could be wrong about anything. I am basing my knowledge off my experiences and youtube videos. I did have the opportunity to live in Australia for two years and was able to speak with aboriginals and aboriginal supporters while living there. That alone gave me a new and meaningful perspective of the indigenous people of Canada, there place where I call home.

On a personal level, I believe over the course of relatively recent history that indigenous culture, history and knowledge has been irreplaceably destroyed by those who sought power and ownership. I wouldn't consider this unique to Europe and it's history with colonization. However, I can't speak more confidently about the treatment of indigenous people and their land from other parts of the world such as Russia, Asia (broadly speaking), or Africa for example, as I haven't come across much of that material.

A similar story could be said about Australia. It used to be lush and green because the indigenous people there had worked with the land to help make it that way. That all turned to the famous red desert outback after it was colonized. All the ancient knowledge of the land was destroyed and all that work had come undone.

QR code error correction

I was curious about this a while ago but there are a bunch of features including error correction for damaged or partial codes. If I remember correctly, it was created for automated manufacturing so it makes sense to have redundancies to minimize delays and downtime.

I spent a few years of my life backpacking in a few countries and learned how how to manage my stuff in order to live out of a 35 litre backpack. I had to be mindful of what I took with me with such limited space.

I've since carried that approach to my life at home and tend to be proactive in dealing with what I buy and own. One way I try to be proactive is to make a list of stuff I want or think I need instead of buying it as soon as possible. Most times something sits on the list for a long time and I'll just remove it. It's a good indicator that I don't need to buy it and it will only cause more clutter. This is sort of something I made up over time to work around my adhd impulsiveness so it may or may not help others.

'Show parent comment navigation buttons' under Look and feel should show/hide them

When covid arrived and the new safety requirements entered the workplace, management lost their minds and became controlling and abusive.

I told my fellow workers how to fight back but they chose to just be mad.

I initiated a fight back against management and showed them how easy it was to fight back, but still they chose to stay mad.

Because I was forced to fight alone for 10 months, I eventually got singled out and fired so my fellow workers stayed mad by redirecting their anger at me.

These people spent much of their day trying to prove just how much of a man they all were but all I ever heard from them was "Oppress me harder daddy!"

I'm free now but they are still there and still mad. Just like they want to be. So good for them! 🥰

The last few years after the arrival of covid, I've had a huge change of perspective about myself. I was working as an electrician for a large company. It is a male dominated industry and my place in particular had a lot of older workers. The majority of these men acted like 'men.' They made every attempt to show off their masculinity in any way possible. They would constantly one-up each other, crudely insult each other, make dick size jokes, talk about women in negative ways be it sublte or not, constant homophobia while at the same time making gay jokes with each other, belittle anyone below them (age, sex, hierarchy, apprentices, other trades), and expect others to blindly do as they say. There's probably so much more I can't even remember at the moment but that's a quick glimpse into their mindset.

I've always been a very quiet person content with observing the world and letting others chose to interact with me. I'm also very open and tend to not judge people. I'm also not someone who doesn't "look" or act like they belong in the trades. I have more of a lean body type and have a hard time gaining muscle mass. I never spoke about women in negative or sexual ways, don't own a car, didn't show off my money in material items, ummarried and childless. The amount of pressure on me to be more manly was annoying but tolerable in the beginning. Then it got old but I pushed through because I wanted an apprenticeship.

Then covid came and upended cultural norms overnight. People were told to do things for the safety of others. Part of being a 'man' is to not do what you are told (unless the boss is around!). Those who adapted to the new safety measures easily became targets. That meant I became an even bigger target. Suddenly every aspect of my life came under intense scrutiny. Riding a bicycle to work became a source of constant, daily bullying. Somehow covid reignited my marriage status and child free choices and that came under additional scrutiny by other 'men.' At one point someone kept insisting I take creatine pills in order to bulk up on muscle mass. It seemed like nothing about me was good enough for no sustantial reason at all.

As my mental health declined, my girlfriend at the time became distant and angry at me for being depressed. While she wouldn't outright say it to me, she seemed to expect me to "man up" and just deal with it. That really hurt considering she knew just how much individality and being myself was important to me. It also felt like feminism was for her and not for me as well. Suddenly she wanted me to buy a car so I can fit in and stop complaining. I also had a hard time talking about lgbt+ topics with her because her tone towards me subtly shifted. It was as if she thought I was a closeted gay. This combined with how I was treated at work was mentally devastating for me.

After reaching my lowest, I decided to be the most annoying person possible. Fortunately I didn't have to do much more since being me causes so much insecurity in people already. It also helps that I tend to appear emotionless so their words don't have an outward, immediate affect on me, even if that shit is actually crushing me internally. I did start showing more defiance towards hostile leadership by pointing out their flaws which eventually lead to me getting fired. Oh well.

Between reaching my lowest point to now, a year after being fired that I changed how I view myself and gender. Suddenly masculinity, and by extension, femininity made no fucking sense. Not that it did make much sense before but now the idea is dead to me. Besides a few more tattoos, nothing about my appearance has changed. For medical reasons, I'm still a male. I just don't care to identity as a man. While non-binary is a suitable term for myself, I still prefer to as simply a person. I feel it describes me as simple as possible. A being just like anyone else. Undivided by physical appearance, individuality or heirarchy. It feels more inclusive that way.

Maybe one day I'll adopt the non-binary term but I've always been one to use simple and vague language. Terms and labels have often created more divide than discussion from my personal experiences and I do not like unnecessary confrontation. I also just really hate labels in all forms because I can't remember the meaning of humanities' infinity growing list of labels and ideologies.

Quake was one of my earliest online gaming experiences. I still remember the first server I joined. It was the starting map of the single player campaign modified into a Capture The Flag map. The melee axe was also a grappling hook, people where zipping around, shooting and exploding into gibs. The chaos was instantly addicting.

I ended up spending many hours on quake and it's mods. I played a lot of CTF and deathmatches before finding Team Fortress. Then it was a whole new world of maps and mods for TF.

Each class had two grenades and abilities that added a lot of depth compared to the modern TF2 game. Maps sometimes came with destructible areas for the demonan's detonation pack. Scouts had caltrops for slowing people down. Spies had hallucination grenades that bounced you around as your view filled with random explosions and noises. Medics and scouts had concussion grenades that could be used on themselves to fly around the map (custom maps were also made around this). Rocket/pipe grenade/hand grenade jumping was also quite common with maps made around those too.

There were maps with 4 teams with 4 bases. Maps where you must protect the civilian VIP that's armed with only a crowbar. Or my favourite variation which was a "cross the border" map. One team were all civilians, another who protected half the map trying to prevent the civilians from reaching the safe point, and the last team had access to the whole map trying to escort all the civilians.

The whole modding scene was such a huge draw for me because it kept the game fresh and unique. It's why I ended up spending so much more time on Half-Life and all it's mods. In a way, I feel game mods have heavily influenced the way I view and use open source software today. There's freedom in that sort of creativity.

I also spent a lot of time in World of Warcraft. In the beginning when you had to work to get around, it made finding friends a fun experience. You struggled to move around the world and that struggle made the random encounters with people that much better of a bonding experience. As time went on and MMO's aimed to connect people as quickly as possible that bonding experience kind of diminished. People can come and go so quickly on online games now that I can't seem to form a decent connection with people these days. The games I play today are all fun but I do miss the type of community I felt in my past gaming days.

Whenever I hear news of Pierre attackjng Trudeau, I get flashbacks of that youtube video of him cosplaying a lunch date with Trudeau.

The only thought that follows after that is the old playground story of a bully who is so infatuated with someone but unable to express themselves so they continue to bully harder in hopes of being noticed. The absurdity of this individual is painful.