ada

Which brings me to my conundrum. Is it wrong to identify with a label if there is no way of achieving it? Like if there is no surgical possibility of transitioning to the body that I want, am I still trans?

I can not say this loudly enough, but fuck yes you are!

You don't have to use the label if it doesn't feel right for you, but if it does, it's yours for the taking. Being trans is about who you are, not what you do. Being trans or gender diverse is about saying "This whole sex and gender thing you've assigned me, yeah, it's not working for me". And that's you. What you do with your experiences is up to you, but the experiences are there and they're real, no matter what your external circumstances.

All the trans women I've known and loved have hated their og anatomy, and I felt like it would be insulting to say that was what I wanted for my body when they fought so hard to get rid of it.

Not at all! What they wanted was bodily autonomy! And that's what you want!

And again, to bring a personal experience in to this, the person who helped me understand who I am, and accept who I am is a trans guy. He was the first trans person I'd ever spoken to, and what struck me was that despite his experience being the "opposite" of mine, he was also the first person I'd ever spoken to who understood what I was saying, who I didn't have to explain myself to. He just got it.

Which is to say, in the gender diverse community, the stuff we have is common is far greater than the differences. The experience of each gender diverse person is unique, but at the same time, just like so many others before them!

I'll avoid it anyway as I'd be scared of feeling like I'm insulting their masculinity by wanting something for myself that the surgery just isn't advanced enough yet to provide for actual men like them.

Yeah, that is something you need to be careful of. Not yucking on other peoples yum. But you can still talk about it. You can talk about your own hesitations, and you can ask them how they feel about the same things you're concerned about. Rather than "I don't want to do it because it's not perfect", you can ask them to talk about their own relationship with bottom surgery, given that it's not perfect. You can talk about your own concerns and anxiety, without positioning your experience as the one true perspective. They know it's not perfect. But they do it anyway. And honestly, it sounds like hearing the perspective of someone in that position would be really helpful to you!

The truth is, no one can tell you, except for you, and often we ourselves don't know. There is no single label used to describe what you're talking about. It can be a form of non binary experience, but that involves your experience of gender, it isn't just about the physical. There's "altersex", which doesn't speak to gender at all, but it's not widely understood, and is also popular with transmedicalists who try and gatekeep other folks validity, so it can carry some unwanted assumptions in people who do recognise it.

And honestly, there is the possibility that it's not "just about genitals". There could be more to this than you're willing to admit, even to yourself.

I was similar to you. I'm a trans woman, and I spent so much of my earlier life literally wishing that I was trans specifically so I could access bottom surgery. If I could have had surgery than magically changed me down stairs, but changed nothing else, I'd have jumped at it. But, of course, there was more to it than that, I was just deep in denial... That's not to say your experience will be the same as mine. I just want to raise it as a possibility for you to think about.

It's a lot of words, but honestly, my advice is to just use whatever feels right, but without getting attached to the specific label. Use it as long as it feels right, but if it stops feeling right, give yourself permission to change it. And that's true even if the label you end up with is "cis woman who wants a dick". As long as the label is working for you, rather than against you, it's the right label

I'd be in one in a heart beat if they were reasonably available!

As I understand it, there is no way of getting a remote users RSS feed. However, there are a couple of options, depending on exactly what you're trying to achieve...

PieFed has the ability to send you a notification whenever a user posts. But that would involve having your account on our PieFed instance (or on someone elses's)

Otherwise, if you're ok with editing the URL like you mentioned, or if you can modify it with regex in your app, and point it at lemmyverse.link. So https://lemmy.world/comment/17893041 becomes https://lemmyverse.link/lemmy.world/comment/17893041, which when followed, will take you to whatever you set your home instance as. So you could click on that link to be taken to l.b.z.

I had this discussion with a previous blahaj user who commented that they saw their own transition as "just a medical issue" and "something in their history" because she's cis passing, in a straight relationship and transitioned long ago.

I pointed out to her though that it's not "just a medical issue" because it only takes one person outing her in the wrong circumstance, and she's just at risk as any other trans person. Yeah, in an ideal world, for those who want it to be, transition would be a medical footnote. But we aren't in that world. We're in a world where even cis women face transphobia, because they don't perform gender "correctly". No trans person is safe from that, even though some are at less risk.

Trans folk that position themselves as different from and distinct to the more visible and out there gender diverse folk aren't protecting themselves, they're just putting themselves lower on the bigots priority lists. And yeah, sometimes, that's what you've got to do for safety, but "safer" is not the same thing as "safe"

Why the fuck are people trying to justify misgendering trans women?

Transphobia. It's really that simple.

Not everyone. We have them turned off for a reason!

In the day, nothing matters!

What you're looking for is an informed consent healthcare provider. (https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/1/viewer?mid=1DxyOTw8dI8n96BHFF2JVUMK7bXsRKtzA&ll=26.199827571693177%2C-113.38234069999999&z=3)

I started it, and enjoyed (but didn't love) the first two seasons. But then we hit season 3... And I am trying to force myself to continue watching, but I'm not sure I can...

I love time travel stories too, but I absolutely can't stand time travel stories that create infinite worlds, or branching timelines etc, because all they do is reduce the actions and events of the story to irrelevancy. So, for the first two season, I really enjoyed how the show was a time travel story, but it never really let you know what was happening as a result of the actions in the show. Was the future changed? Or was everything we were seeing how it had always played out?

And then we get to season 3... And suddenly, we have a split timeline the old world is destroyed, and literally everyone those characters knew and cared about is gone, and the future she had been fighting to return to is erased. And none of them really care about that. The sheer trauma of losing an entire universe is brushed over like its nothing. And I just know that now they've done one timeline divergence, there are more of them waiting either in this season or the next...

I was so close to giving up on it, until I read some spoilers in the comments that mentions she joins liber8, and I think that will keep me going, because after all of this, it will be good to see here finally click...

Fair, but the person who submitted this isn't just a random user, they're flaired as part of the packaging team