Zero22xx

I'm sorry but I'm going to have to go with a double from this band. I'll try to keep the doubles at minimum though.

Spoiler: no one made it up to anyone in the year 2000 and the world is in fact worse than before.

Kinda in the mood to listen to some of my lighter stuff right now. This one definitely smells like childhood nostalgia but I still give Throwing Copper and Secret Samadhi a spin from time to time. Not too big into much of their other stuff though.

Hoping to get out the rut that I'm currently in with my own selection and thinking that if I get involved in a community like this, I'll start getting the energy to start exploring new music, and maybe some suggestions along the way. This seems like a good place for me to drop occasional tracks because sometimes it might be whatever genre this is, sometimes it might be punk, sometimes it might be melodic death metal.

I have listened to this track an unusual amount of times this week so far. Hope someone enjoys.

Been looking around this place properly today. And it's honestly looking pretty good right now with some nice theming options too. And considering that I've also been giving Bluesky a go, it's pretty cool that you can even link that account.

Just one though. Unless I'm dumb and I'm missing something, browsing groups doesn't seem that great at all. Like, unless you know specifically what you want to search for, it looks like your only option is to scroll through posts from groups until you find something that interests or is relevant to you.

I noticed that there's a directory for users, why not one for groups? Is something like this in the pipeline? I appreciate that a platform like this is a lot more feature heavy and complicated than something like Bluesky or even Lemmy. So I'm not making demands or anything. Just an idea that I think would make it Friendica an even more complete replacement for Facebook.

Personally what I'm looking for out of this is a space where I can crap out my own thoughts and post my stolen memes and shit on my own profile, plus have the community discussion too. On that note, it would also be nice if you could load Lemmy communities in the Friendica interface and 'Follow' them in the same manner.

And just for my questions. First, when it comes to your handle or url, what characters exactly are allowed? Because I tried a dash and a dot in my handle and it wouldn't accept it. Are you really just limited to letters and numbers?

Second question. About the language settings. Is it recommended to also have 'Undefined' selected there, in the same way as here? And why do I still see non English posts regardless? (on that note, a translation feature would be nice too)

Edit: Ok as far as languages go, I just found the language filter addon. Somehow missed it on my first round of going through the settings. Will be interesting to see how this works.

Firstly, my obligatory "I hope this kind of post is acceptable here". Now with that out of the way.

For the last few years, I have been finally starting to address a lot of things about myself that I pushed down or away for a long time. Among those things was gender. But I'm also likely ADHD at least, and have been pretty burnt out for years now, so I've become a lot worse at research and looking into things than I used to be.

So only about two years ago, I finally looked up "non-binary" on Wikipedia, and felt like I was reading about myself. And since then it's been quite a journey (all internally because I basically never tell anyone irl what I'm going through). From imposter syndrome or feeling like I might be a fraud, to half assurance that I'm on the right track but still not fully comfortable or satisfied in the answers so far, to feeling or registering dysphoria for the first time and regularly since and thinking I might possibly be transfem. But I've always preferred and got along better with women and am extra angry with men in general these days, which might be playing a big part in me wishing I was afab these days.

And putting together my personal journey over the last few years, with what I've awakened to with regards to both mental health and gender identity, I remembered something about the hidden curriculum. And how it was my history teacher in school (one of the only teachers that 'got' me and who I wasn't constantly fighting with) who brought it up and looking back, he clearly knew that I was different in a number of ways. When he brought up the hidden curriculum, one of the sentences that he specifically used and that I've remembered since, was how it "teaches boys to be boys and girls to be girls" (I was outraged by this and the whole idea of the hidden curriculum btw).

Which brings me to why I am agender. I literally never learnt how to be one gender or the other. And it's not because I wasn't taught, it's because I rejected it every step of the way, or just didn't even notice that it was a lesson. I was raised by my mother and two sisters, who acknowledged me as a 'man', but didn't exactly push me into sportsball and shit. I was very much raised by sisters in particular because my mother means well, but has always been kinda vacant. And in school, I was too busy resisting and fighting every step of the way to learn how to be a 'man' there.

So yeah, that's it. I wrote an essay just to say: I am agender! I finally found the exact label that makes me feel like it's been so obvious all along. And 100% confident in saying that I belong to. I am agender.

Thought I might post this here in case anyone has suggestions or whatever. I am looking for a gender neutral name to use somewhere. I was thinking about how Jane / John Doe is the name for someone unidentified, which is pretty cool. But considering that Jane and John are basically "girl" and "boy" - the names, it's a pity that there isn't a third neutral equivalent of those names.

Digging around I saw a suggestion of "Jay" elsewhere but I'm not sure if that feels right to me. Would that strike you as a gender neutral name if you came across it in the wild? Maybe I've just known too many Johns and Jasons.

Or does anyone maybe have any other cool suggestions if you feel so inclined? The problem I find personally with a lot of "gender neutral names lists" that I come across, is that a lot of the names seem a bit too Gen Z to feel right for me, personally. Names like Kai or River are pretty cool but also sound like names some of my friends might have named their kids.

Anyone know any cool gender neutral names that are maybe a bit more born in the late '80s millennial?

Edit: Just found an interesting one (for me). The Dutch for both Jane and John seems to be Jan, and is listed as a gender neutral name. Definitely a name I've heard for both men and women (although pronounced differently where I'm from).

Edit 2: I think my shortlist is now Jan, Jean and for an attractive outside of the John / Jane thing, I'm kinda liking Alex.

I think I might finally be on the road to getting some sort of diagnosis and learning how to live (although it's still talk right now and who knows if I don't just end up with an appointment 6 months from now). At this point I'm 90% sure it's autism or ADHD or some combination thereof. But I'm also aware of the possible folly of reading into things as far as self diagnosis goes. But I've been lurking and spending time in these sorts of communities for a couple of years now and feel like I've been learning more and more about myself. And I'm pretty sure now that I'm not just stupid and lazy and unreasonably defiant and depressed. I think I just haven't learnt how to function in a world that wasn't made for me.

I'm hoping to ask some advice on if I should do some homework or start making notes about my perceived reasons or symptoms before starting anything official and official. I started out terrible at doing homework and it's got worse as I got older but if there's any important literature that I should read, it would be awesome to know about it and I could push through reading it. And notes, should I start taking notes of things to speak about or bring up?

Thank you in advance. Might only start replying and stuff later became I'm feeling a little scrambled right now and only slept about 4 hours last night.

Watched this again yesterday and I think I liked it even more the second time. Honestly I've got Batman fatigue over all, especially grounded and 'realistic' Batman, but what makes this show particularly enjoyable is that it changes quite a few things up and leans harder into Golden Age Batman stuff than any other adaptation.

Not all episodes are 100% masterpieces but the overall storylines are especially awesome. I absolutely love this version of Harley Quinn and think it might actually be my favourite. And especially listening to the things she says in conversation leading up to her episode was awesome this time, knowing what's coming. A little disappointed that there's going to be a Joker in this universe after all but I hope that at least in this story, they flip it and make him a creation of Harley Quinn and not the other way around.

And the over all story of Harvey Dent of course is top tier. Also with the way it tied in with Jim and Barbara's ideological disagreement that ran throughout. And something that I didn't notice the first time but saw someone else point out, which is fucking cool, was that they flipped the evil and side of Two-Face here as well.

Harvey Dent wasn't really a good guy before the acid attack. He would just do or say whatever it takes to get more votes and get people to like him. He might've been good once but the life of shaking hands and smiling and kissing asses with no results clearly twisted him.So after the acid attack, whenever he's being apologetic and good, he turns and speaks with the side of his face that has been fucked up with acid. That's the personality that has learnt and is remorseful. But the 'evil' side of this Harvey Dent is the old Harvey Dent politician personality that has had it with this shit.

And just a quote that I felt especially hard this time from Batman: "You don't bend with the world when it goes bad. You push back."

Side note / suggestion: something I've always seen pro wrestling subs / communities do that works well, is having a general discussion thread pinned. Something that is still missing here vs Reddit, is a community for each show. It wouldn't make sense here right now because it would just make this place even quieter. But what was nice about them was having a place to post about them off season. I feel like a general discussion thread could work nicely for this kind of post.

I don't know where else to post this. Definitely not casual conversation. Off my chest seems more like a place for when you've got something to say to everyone else. And I'm not really necessarily looking for advice. Pretty personal and about mental health and shit though. So if there's somewhere better, let me know. I just need to dump this shit somewhere.

Just went without weed for around two weeks. One of the longest stretches I've gone without for most of my adult life so far. And this particular time, it has especially made me realise and come to terms with the fact that whenever I've called it "medicine", I've only been half joking.

Because I unravel more and more, then facepalm when I've finally had my medicine and start thinking about how I've been feeling and acting out. When I've gone without for just a couple of days in the past, I've called it an addiction but this time the insomnia and lack of appetite ended in a couple of days but my everything else got worse and worse.

I become completely dysfunctional in the real world, and a feeling that I think I've realised is a constant anxiety. Or bottled rage sometimes. And an inability to even sit for long enough to watch something or play a game. That's when I start learning into the endless scroll of the virtual world hard.

And there I start looking for outlets for all of my rage. Not picking my battles but standing on my hill(s) and calling all challengers. I fight for things that I believe in and not just aimlessly but at the same time, I feel aware that I'm also doing it selfishly, so that I've got something to do with all of the continuous anxiety and unease and general feeling like shit.

And now I'm here. I've had my medicine and now I feel like I've been unhinged (more than usual), howling under a full moon that lasted two weeks. And now I facepalm about it, not for what I've said but for how and why and when. Maybe even who.

I don't have the means to get diagnosed with anything at this present point, but I'm fairly convinced now that one reason it's taken me so long to realise that not everything is ok; is because my continuous weed use has not only been alleviating things for me on a chemical level, it also makes it easier for me to pretend that all systems are running normally or that my specs are the same as everyone I have to meet and talk to. That I don't actually feel like a stranger all the time, even if I've known you for years.