I guess I’m not being very helpful and just rambling because I have a different mindset. I’ve given up hope on my desire to be anything unique or special after entering college. I realized everyone else is smarter and better at whatever I wanted to do, so I no longer see a point in striving for any of that. I just strive to do something until it’s over.
I've made a lot of my philosophy by looking at people who are exceptional to me and seeing them look at their particular field of expertise. When they go "goddamn, I'm good, but I couldn't put in as much as THAT person." A preponderance of moments like that have highlighted to me the single path to mastery is that one track mindedness that keeps you in the "gym" eat, sleep, breathing the thing that you like. When I ask myself whether I want to live like that, I feel confident that I don't. I think too many things are cool to forsake them for greatness in a particular pursuit.
I've always said my primary talent/blessings is luck and the rest is secondary to it. I take away from this that the definitions I use for special and the metrics I use to measure it can be arbitrary. Not everything is a 100m dash or a UFC fight - or a competition to be the best, frankly. That's worth sparing a thought for