Okay, this isn't about the BS arrest, but if you are taking 30+ minutes to unsuccessfully take a shit:
Get yourself a Fleet enema, it will make you shit like a horse in 10 minutes, guaranteed. You can find them in drugstores and it will leave you clean.
Two, you really should be eating at least 30g of chia seeds a day, they are high in fiber and will help avoid bowel-distending events before they start. Put them in a smoothie or on yogurt. Or take metamucil if you can stand the taste.
Three, you should talk to your doctor about distended bowels and profound constipation. If you aren't taking a shit for a few days to a week, you might be damaging your colon, which is bad on many levels.
A missed opportunity to paint herself painting herself while she painted herself. I love a bit of recursion :3