VampiresOfDecay

Neurodivergence only becomes a disability in context of the society you live.

I'm going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

Whilst I agree that society adds a ton of extra barriers for us neurodivergent people, there are still a lot of people who would genuinely still struggle to function in a perfect society. E.g. high support needs autistic folks.

Even without society, I would still have debilitating interoception issues, executive dysfunction etc.

Yeah, same here. I don't take meds to fit into society's idea of a functional human. I take meds because I can't function even when by myself-

Only monthly??? I'd love to visit a rage room daily haha (although there's no way I'd have the spoons for that lol)

The pain clinic literally only offered me antidepressants for my chronic pain and I'm already on antidepressants and they don't help.

Tldr: Start the diagnosis process now, diagnosis can help your kid access support and understand themselves better and it can take a long time to get diagnosed.

I've added some strategies that have helped me at the bottom of my reply.

(Sorry in advance that this is kind of all over the place, I wanted to respond but I'm not the best at organising thoughts.)

For context, I was diagnosed as Autistic as a child but not diagnosed with ADHD until I was as an adult. I'm not sure what country you're from but I'm going to be talking about UK services here because that's what I'm most familiar with.

I wish I were diagnosed and started on medication earlier because all my life my executive dysfunction was labelled as depression which led to years of being sent round mental health professionals and crisis services who didn't understand why the antidepressants and cbt they were giving me wasn't helping, but when I finally got diagnosed and started on meds after years of fighting for a diagnosis, I realised a lot of the issues I was having were actually related to ADHD, not depression. It would have saved a lot of time and trauma to get that ADHD diagnosis earlier.

Getting a diagnosis can unlock the chance to access more support in education, such as an EHCP or reasonable adjustments in class and exams. (Although, it's often an uphill battle to get these even with a diagnosis)

Also, if your kid does get diagnosed with ADHD, take the time to talk to him about it. Someone I know who got diagnosed well into adulthood told me about how they felt alienated growing up because they were always perceived as weird and naughty but didn't know why; but looking back once they knew they were neurodivergent, they realised it wasn't their fault, and that closure was incredibly helpful and something they wish they knew earlier.

Also, if he does get diagnosed, don't just medicate, also learn strategies for managing the many aspects of ADHD.

I don't have many strategies for getting daily tasks done but a few I can think of off the top of my head which I find helpful are:

• Rewarding myself before I start (it sounds silly but it helps me with getting the dopamine I need to do to start the task)
• Setting timers and scheduling movement breaks when doing work at a desk (also, keeping that space out of the room you sleep in if possible)
• Putting on a playlist of music which is a specific length and using that as a timer
• Keeping food and water next to me when sitting at my desk so it's easier to just grab a drink/eat without breaking hyperfocus and losing motivation
• Incorporating my current hyperfixations into more boring tasks to make them more interesting for my brain
• Keeping tomorrow's clothes right by the bed so it doesn't take much executive function to put them on in the morning. Same with keeping my bag packed with everything I need in advance.

Thank you, I really appreciate the hugs, this year has been hell for me in terms of chronic illness <3

I have the enhanced rates for both daily living and mobility for PIP (disability benefits in the UK)

I have a social worker but she is pretty ableist and doesn't tend to provide accurate information, so she would not be much help

I am moving into a supported living facility soon where I will have to use up all of my savings for my care costs for the first few months to get me into the threshold for the council helping to fund the care so if I manage to research and get one soon (next few months) then money shouldn't be too much of an issue as I have a fair amount in savings I am willing to spend.

Unfortunately the places around me that seem to do wheelchair programs or discounts require you to be able to make it to an inaccessible area of town for me.