Turret3857

Hi all.

This is a stream of consciousness post before bed so it may be a bit all over the place. I'm a 20 something based out of the US and I don't know what to make of my feelings. I'm neurodivergent (cocktail of disorders + on the spectrum) but under normal circumstances i handle it well. So well in fact I got discharged from my therapist of 5+ years last year, pre-election.

Problem being, it's now post-election. I am a mix of a few minorities and fear every day for my family. One of my parents is making fearing for them harder than it needed to be, as they have drank the proverbial MAGA kool aid. Why i bring that up is that i have been regressing lately. Ive felt, paranoid i guess. I dont know how much of what I feel is paranoia and how much of it is really justified. i try to minimize my digital footprint and am very conscious of the technklogy i use. I also feel like ive been regressing mentally somewhat. I feel more inclined to do the things that remind me of my childhood. Playing games, watching comfort shows, feeling oddly sentimental towards old weathered decorations while preparing for the holiday. Its a sad feeling that I dont know how to describe. To add more insult to injury, my parents have separated this year and while I've always had a feeling it would happen, it feels surreal and like i dont really want it to happen. Especially since the parent who left is the sane one and sort of sent the MAGA parent into a mid-life crisis of superfluous hookups and money-spending, as well as making trying to talk any sense into them at all almost impossible.

To be truthful, what my heart most desires is a return to the early 2010s. Before I had known about the various mental disorders I had, when the US felt stable, when I didnt have to worry about if ill make my bills on time, and when I had more of a family unit to rely on.

Seeing as im posting this on lemmy, you can imagine i dont have very many friends. this isnt because i dont want them, but because its so difficult to find friends i relate to, especially post-college. I have a partner atm but they're in a similar boat to me and they try to be supportive.

I would go back to therapy but im worried as i have had bad experiences before, and i dont want to end up with a maga therapist who turns me in to some gov.t agency. im also strapped for cash as are a lot of people in the US.

To end off, i feel exhausted, empty and sad. melancholic. worried about the future and indulging in the past that no longer exists for comfort. i dont want to worry anymore. i dont want to have an existential crisis when i find a light up pumpkin my family has had since 2000 and get choked up wondering how awful I'd feel if something happened to it. i want someone to say they understand and help process these feelings. it feels selfish to end with that so. i hope you are having a good day.

cross-posted from: https://discuss.tchncs.de/post/47445145

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/55432036

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/33024615

slutty dr rule

somebody pull it off

Stumbled across this screenshot. Now, instead of judging people for yourself, the computer can do it for you!!! This will in no way be used negatively by Reddit nor people who are arguing with each other. Original post is here, if anyone still has Reddit maybe go spread the good word of Lemmy and Piefed to these users :P

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/48287684

Hi, I apologize if this isn't exactly "on-topic" so to speak, but I am not sure where else to go and I want to get my thoughts out somewhere.

I find it difficult to make real life friends, not because I necessarily have social anxiety but because I feel so disconnected from the reality everyone around me seems to be a part of. I live in the US, and I imagine I don't need to explain the current state of the country to a lemmy community. I'm a leftist progressive, who also happens to be very privacy/foss focused. I also have a couple mental disorders that make it more difficult to "properly" socialize. I find it hard to relate to people who use mainstream social media, as when I hear or see people talk about it, all I see is the abuse of the working class. I see data harvesting and propaganda. I find it hard not to bring this up when talking to others, as it's a core belief. I see it as fundamentally wrong that we allow ourselves to be whored out to data brokers for a quick hit of dopamine. I see the US falling into fascism and into a country of slavery (again) if we dont start advocating for workers rights and for the removal of the current admin. I use Linux, CalyxOS, I self host. I protest, I vote in local elections, and primaries. I like playing video games when I can bring myself to it. I have been enjoying the new DELTARUNE chapters, and am hoping to find a switch 2 (to keep offline and wait for homebrew)

The reason I mention these things is I feel so different from other people, and don't know if its possible to find people who will want to be friends with me now. I'm not in college anymore, I graduated and I live in a somewhat suburban area. I have an s/o, and they're supportive of my beliefs, but they also find it hard to make friends. Where should I go from here? Is my only solution really just sucking it up and have my internal monologue scream at me while listening to 'friends' talk about subjects and situations that trigger my inner activist to go off? Or are there possibly other people out there like me who I just haven't found yet? I know that friendships have to make compromises, but fuck if its hard to compromise on things you see as violating human rights.

They were on the phone btw. Big ol iPhone 16 Pro Max up to their ear, barely paying attention to the road.

edit: if anyone has any foss camera apps they'd like to recommend, I'm looking to find something better than the stock GCamera.

Hello Lemmy. Discord locked me out of my account and wants me to verify using my phone number. Issue being, I gave them this phone number over 4 years ago and I took it off of my account at least 2 years ago and never added a 2nd. The reason I can't verify that number is because it was a burner phone. What do I do, or am I completely fucked?