TootSweet

If you like that, I highly recommend perusing the Hacker Jargon File, home of such gems as:

• wetware - [prob.: from the novels of Rudy Rucker] 1. The human nervous system, as opposed to computer hardware or software. “Wetware has 7 plus or minus 2 temporary registers.” 2. Human beings (programmers, operators, administrators) attached to a computer system, as opposed to the system's hardware or software. See liveware, meatware.
• splork! - [Usenet; common] The sound of coffee (or other beverage) hitting the monitor and/or keyboard after being forced out of the mouth via the nose. It usually follows an unexpectedly funny thing in a Usenet post. Compare snarf.
• bag on the side - [prob. originally related to a colostomy bag] An extension to an established hack that is supposed to add some functionality to the original. Usually derogatory, implying that the original was being overextended and should have been thrown away, and the new product is ugly, inelegant, or bloated. Also v. phrase, “to hang a bag on the side [of]”. “C++? That's just a bag on the side of C ....” “They want me to hang a bag on the side of the accounting system.”

Fuckin' magnets. How do they work?

Eagles. Duh.

We need to advocate for better pay

Yes.

and stop taking tipped jobs.

If people could just "stop taking tipped jobs" you really think they wouldn't have been doing that already?

Your post kinda has "have you tried just not being depressed?" energy.

Are you thinking not tipping would magically transform a "tipped" position (that was subject to the minimum tipped wage) into a non-tipped position (that was subject to the normal minimum wage)? What's the threshold? A particular percentage of transactions refraining from tipping? Under a specific dollar amount of tips per worker? The employer having to supplement the tips to get it up to the minimum tipped wage more than a certain percentage of the time? Are you sure "yeah, but there's a blank on the receipt labeled 'tip', so theoretically the workers could get tips" isn't enough to make the minimum tipped wage apply? Does it vary by jurisdiction?

Meanwhile, the real person behind the real counter of the real coffee shop you like probably regularly skips meals to afford rent.

Even if what you're suggesting could work, who's to say they wouldn't immediately replace it with some "gig economy" sort of alternative that would turn the workers into freelancers to whom no minimum wage applied?

Yes, advocate for worker rights, but don't kid yourself that not tipping your servers is somehow doing them a favor.

I mean, you should tip the barista, though.

"Fuckin'."

"The Fantastic Fuckin' Four."

(I mean, if I hadn't posted this, someone would have.)

Grikug's little helper.

There's civilized humans? Where?

Yeah, that's super shitty. I can just hear the Christian missionaries now. "They're outlawing the Bible."

OP what the hell is wrong with you

That's never a question you have to ask of a 4channer.

everybody walk the dinosaur