Swedneck

After fourteen years I left the sea, for a life upon a lake
After all the storms I'd seen, I needed a good break
I thought still waters would mean peace for me
But that was a mistake
For the place I chose was bedevilled by a giant, evil drake

A mallard of such malice, twice the size of any man
A bill to give you nightmares and a monsterous wingspan
You cannot hope to fight it, so avoid him if you can
That terrifying waterfoul, the beast beyond the dam

surprised the rats don't just have one sniff and bite the researchers in the finger, wine smells offensive to my dinky-ass sense of smell, i can only imagine what a punch it must be to a rat

but also if you're bringing home people who others in the household don't want to be around maybe you should talk to them about that and maybe visit your friends instead of them visiting you. I don't have social anxiety but if i had to deal with strangers showing up in my home i'd be completely nonfunctional, because it's my fucking home

one of the less cute animals i'd say, considering that all mammals just kinda default to being cute.

"oh fuck is that a wolverine? nope nope nope"
"oh fuck is that bear spray? nope nope nope"

resisting gravity is super easy, as evidenced by the fact that most things aren't black holes.

i don't think fire ants piss acid as a form of defense? the post is about ants that spray formic acid at scary things, not being stung.

honestly i'd expect most sounds to not be mating sounds unless it's specifically a time of year where most of the animals there are in mating season

i think we humans tend to forget that it's not very normal to just always be looking to bang, for most animals (and plants even) it's done very enthusiastically at specific times.

is it gay if you're both nonbinary/agender? i'll award $2 and some pocket lint to anyone who can provide a robust mathematical proof

i'm not talking large cabins, i'm talking about cabins that have about as much space as a housecar, and those are cheap enough that i've stayed in one with my not particularly rich parents.

because it's not true, them being smug is a tiny fraction of what's wrong with them, and pretending that it's worth noting is disingenous.

they did ask him and he said "being pope would be my first choice", you'll note how you were unable to even come up with something as nonsensical as what he actually said..