Susaga

joined 2 years ago
[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 5 points 22 hours ago

Nah, they all get what they want. The world is saved, the idiot got the final blow and is hailed as a hero, the manipulator swindled a massive reward for their efforts, and the second idiot ate the reward. Or, more likely, the campaign falls apart long before they get to that bit.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As excited as I am to have more of this manga, the sudden snipe with two chapters in one day with a good few linguistic oddities by a group that demands you only use their site, but who also uses someone else's translations to fill their backlog... I feel like I should wait a little.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

The warrior went on a noble, world-saving quest, and they joined up with two idiots and a manipulator. Sounds like he's not even smart enough to realise he's also an idiot.

Meanwhile, the manipulator teamed up with three idiots, who she can probably manipulate easily. She's going places.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Like a Lord of the Rings "fulfill your oath" sort of deal?

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 30 points 2 days ago

Considering the guy leading the Republicans, I feel like they would say that about ALL babies.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

My first thought is brass, as in a machine made of brass gears. Because a machine has nothing in its mind but the instructions it was created with. But that might be too sci-fi, depending on what vibe you're going for.

My second thought is statues, either marble or copper? The monuments of the nation's heroes. It might not have the massive numbers that chaos does, but law need not match chaos when it can contrast it.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

I'm a little shocked that Square Strategy isn't a thing already. It seems like a bit of a gimme.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 days ago

On the one hand, this leaves Karlach as Scrappy, and I don't want that. On the other hand, Karlach would absolutely be Scrappy.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

No need for wordplay? What community do you think you're in?

 

It's a complete waist of space.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 week ago

I am engaging with what was said, I just don't agree with what was said.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

the sense I get is that it’s more like Pathfinder with feat trees

It's a class based levelling system, going from 1 to 20, where you get a skill and talent at 1st level based on your starting class, and then develop with every level you gain. You can mix classes as you level up and each class has different paths built into it. You can't jump ahead to grab a later feature without first taking an earlier one, and you can't stack the same feature from different sources for double the effect.

Are there differences? Yes. Is it very different? No. There is more to say how it's similar than how it's different. There are class systems that are very different, but this isn't one of them.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Saying it's not like D&D because it's more like Pathfinder is not a great argument, considering Pathfinder is essentially a split branch of D&D. And since the headline lists both D&D AND Pathfinder, it's still wrong.

 

Because I'm 32, so it was my thirty second birthday.

82
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/jokes@lemmy.world
 

As they go inside, God himself appears and says "my child, you have lived your life seeking answers, as misguided as your searching has been. Worry not. You are safe here, and I am ready to answer any questions you might have with perfect, absolute truth."

"I understand. I suppose I have one question that sits in my mind the most, and would bring me the greatest relief to finally hear the answer. My lord... Is the earth flat?"

God shakes his head. "No, it is not flat. It is a globe."

"Holy shit, they got you too? How high does this thing go?!"

 

He picks it up, takes one look at the front page, sighs, and puts the paper back down.

He does this day after day, never looking at anything but the front page before putting it down. Eventually, the news vendor decides to ask "excuse me, why do you buy the newspaper every day, then just put it down?"

"Well, I only bought it to check the obituaries."

"But you only check the front page. They don't put obituaries on the front page."

"They will for the guy I'm looking for."

 

One of them knows how to read, one of them knows how to write, and one of them keeps an eye on those two intellectuals.

 

A man is sitting on a bench in the hallway, waiting to be called to give testimony, when a judge passes by. The judge is in a fit of chuckles, even wiping a tear from his eye.

"Comrade judge, is something funny?"

"Oh, I just heard the funniest joke. I keep playing it in my head and it keeps making me laugh."

"That good? Do you mind telling it to me?"

"I can't. I just gave someone 20 years for it."

 

You've just been kidnapped by, bear with me, an intelligent animal who can read your social media posts and, bear with me, your only way to ask for help is by leaving subtle messages within your post, BEAR WITH ME.

 

"But you ARE a lawyer."

"Yeah, so where's my present?"

 

So they can hide in cherry trees.

Alright, why don't you ever see elephants hiding in cherry trees?

Because they're very good at it.

190
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/jokes@lemmy.world
 

That's an offer that's hard to turn down, or at least to look into a little. And the sign is right by the house with the dog sat on the porch, so it's easy enough to check out.

"So, you can talk, huh?"

"Yep" says the dog.

The man is surprised and impressed. "How did you learn to talk?"

"Oh, I was part of a government program run by the CIA to create a new genus of super dog, genius level intellect and top quality skills. I was the only one of the litter who could talk, so they fast tracked me up to being an agent. They taught me how to use a gun with my mouth, how to drive with my paws, how to diffuse a bomb with my tail, and even how to parachute into hostile territory. Apparently, thanks to the genius genes, I learned even faster than the human agents, and I was sent to Russia as a spy within a month.

"I had an amazing time chatting up the local pooches, begging diplomats for treats, and feeding top secret info back to the states. My work even helped delay the war on Ukraine by 2 years, but I blew my cover when I called Putin a jerk straight to his face. He sent his top guys after me, and I had to flee through the city. Jumped onto a train through Serbia and swam across the Bering Strait into Alaska.

"Unfortunately, Putin sent an assassin after me as I was moving through Canada, and he caught my dominant paw. I had to take the guy out with one of my ears, but I managed to survive, and my wounds healed really well. Now I'm retired, so I decided to keep this town safe."

"Holy crap" says the man, transfixed. When the dog's owner comes out, he looks up at the guy and asks "Why the heck are you selling him for only $5?"

"Cause he's a frickin liar! He's never spent a day outside of Utah!"

 

They couldn't see that well.

10
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Susaga@sh.itjust.works to c/jokes@lemmy.world
 

The genie appears before him and declares "I am a powerful genie! Due to budget cuts, I will only be granting one wish, but you can wish for anything you desire and I shall make it come true!"

The farmer wastes no time. "My neighbour, Peter, was once as poor as me. One day, he received a cow as a gift, and he began to sell the milk. Suddenly, he is earning twice as much. He could afford to fix the roof, he bought new clothes, and he even took a day off to have wild sex with his wife. That cow made his life so much better than it was before."

The genie nods. "I see. So, your wish is..."

"Kill his cow."

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