SubArcticTundra

My main problems:

• Inability to stick to lowly stimulating tasks
• Executive dysfunction
• Forgetting what I was doing every 2 minutes
  Bonus mention: random bouts of anxiety
  (Don't know which subtype this amounts to)

Meds I've tried so far:

1. Atomoxetine (extinguished the anxiety but did nothing for the ADHD)
2. Methylphenidate (amplified the ED, essentially gluing me to even boring tasks. This helped for reading but not for my executively intensive physics homework, where I literally had to use my inner voice to guide myself. Did nothing for the forgetfulness.)

Has anyone had a similar response? What ended up working? I'm in the UK so there's no Aderall.

My train of thought has gone down the same path hundreds of times when bored. There is no new realisation about that topic that remains to be had. And yet every time my inner monologue goes down the same well trodden path. It almost hurts at this point. I don't really choose the topic, it's usually just one I've come into contact with repeatedly and they change over the years. I commute by bus and the monologue is always at the same point at the same point in the journey. I am going crazy. How do I turn this off.

Lemmy, I have completed tens of modules across several different universities. I have been course-hopping for long enough that I’d have a bachelors degree by now had I found and stayed on a course that suited me. I can’t be asked to commit to one and study it for yet another 3 years before I get a degree*. Yet I feel like all of the effort that I have expended up to this point will go unacknowledged, just because it was spread across several unis and doesn’t fall into any of their pre-defined study plans. I am a person driven by short bouts of intense curiosity of the type that dives down Wikipedia rabbitholes**. I want to do a highly qualified job but am failing to fit in to the rigid framework that academia sets you. I have several Master’s theses that I’d start researching tomorrow if the system let me. Yet without so much as a bachelor’s I might as well go work in a supermarket. How do I move on from here?

*Perhaps it’s also because I’m now in my early 20s and finally want to have some time to explore.
**I am a logical thinker and predominantly interested in STEM topics.

Edit: while I'm at it, does anyone know what I should do when I'm waiting for a coincidence/adventure to happen, but it never comes? I can't really go outside and arrange for it to happen because I don't know what I'm looking for.

Often when I start feeling guilty for putting off a task (even if I genuinely didn't have time), the guilt makes it harder for me to get back to it. It's an additional emotion that I have to barge through in order to get started.

What if the person is annoyed with me for still not having replied? What if they've followed up with a strongly worded email that I'm now going to have to suffer through? And I'm going to have to come up with an excuse for taking so long. This would have been so much easier if I'd done it yesterday.

The guilt increases exponentially. How do you dispel it so that it's not in the way of actually getting to the task?
(Alcohol and sleep deprivation does not count)

For me showering means standing in a windowless room staring at a blank wall for 20 minutes (I get lost in my thoughts). Also there are several steps and I have to think about each of them.
This means that I only end up showering when my fear of coming across as dirty becomes bigger than the dread of being bored.
What do you do?

This has started showing up for some reason, suggesting that instead of updating my apps in the background, Google Play is waiting until I open an app to check for updates. Is there like a setting somewhere I need to change?

I'm thinking of switching fields within STEM and there are some mathsy modules which I missed out on during my undergrad (biology) that would come in really handy right now.
Since I would like to avoid doing another bachelor's from scratch, I was hoping there might be a website that lets you pick and choose from a range of undergrad-level subjects that you would take online, and then possibly give you a certificate that you could put on your CV.
Does anyone know if something like this exists?

I've found that breaking a daunting task down into concrete steps and eating away at it in baby steps helps me get it done. When I take Concerta, it helps me focus on the boring nitty-gritty bits, and it enables me to focus on activities like reading where you don't have to do any planning. But the actual process planning/task breakup stays just as cognitively straining as before and becomes the new bottleneck to my productivity. Can this also be fixed with a pill, or does everyone have it this hard and is it a skill that you get better at over time?

I can't work on maths problems: by the time I key a calculation into my calculator I've forgotten what I was actually calculating.

When I open my phone to write an email, by the time I have the 'new email' screen open I've forgotten what I wanted to write and to whom.

When I go off looking for something in another room, I forget what I was looking for by the time I've entered it. I constantly mutter 'What was I doing? What was I doing?'

This is so debilitating -- I can't live like this. What can I do?