Seigest

I'm not great with details, but I remember reading that many of us in the neurodiverse community struggle with sleep or energy levels.

Back in my early 20s, I went through the whole sleep clinic process. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and mild narcolepsy. They prescribed me a full-face CPAP mask because my mouth doesn't stay closed at night. That didn’t last long I dumped it after 2 months. I’m not a still sleeper — more like a rotisserie chicken — and the full mask just made me choke on my own drool. The doctors were frustrated and not very helpful. It felt like they expected me to control my body even while unconscious.

Now, over 10 years later, I’m going through the process again. Apparently, my body still isn’t getting enough oxygen during sleep, and it’s causing problems.

Still, I can’t help but wonder if the doctors are missing something — like autism as a potential root cause of sleep issues. In my neurodiverse friend group (both autistic and ADHD), I’m the only one not sleeping 12 or more hours a day. So now I’m left wondering what’s really going on — with me, and with them.

A birthday gift to myself I'll be 38. This is a plush from Plushie Dreadfuls I'm still learning about myself and working on self compassion. My autism is something I like about myself it's part of who I am. I figured this will help me visualize that part of myself and show it love.

Also this thing is ridiculously soft and very good quality.

It ain't pretty but it'll hold.

I have a grip strengthening thing. It's a fidget tool and is helping with some blood flow issues to my hands.

I was going to get a stronger model as the medium one is a little too easy. Is there a Canadian version of this thing?

I got myself a new Canadian made blood pressure monitor from bios. But I need some AAA batteries for it. Any suggestions?

These strange banana plushies showed up at our local salvation army store. They have no tags or any clues as to what they are. But the store sold out.

My roommate bought a few but he wants more. We think they are cute and you can tie them together in fun ways.

Does any have any idea of these are or where to get more?

We had a pretty good snowstorm. I noticed this guy out still looking for a late night snack.

I know this might be a controversial opinion, but I think it’s something that needs to be addressed in my area. It seems like people around here don't really care for their cats, and I wonder if some of the ones I see regularly might be part of a feral colony. I’ve seen over 10 different cats on my small property (not all at once), and recently, when the temperature dropped below -20°C (-4°F), I still saw them hiding under cars. One of the cats appeared to be only a few months old, which is heartbreaking. Another cat is missing its tail, and one has a missing ear. The area also has a lot of skunks and raccoons, which can be dangerous, so I’m concerned for their safety. If these cats have homes, they should definitely be in them. But I’m also worried that the city’s solution might be to just put them all down. What are your thoughts?

Update: I've done some research and found local groups monitor the feral cat population in the area. I am near a shelter (I didn't know that) so it's possible these are shelter cats. I'm just going to work with that shelter to see if thats the case. I have security cam footage of a few of them but not posting pictures for privacy reasons.

Also I'd love to bring them in but I only rent a room here. The owners should prefer I didn't do that so I need to honor that. However if the local shelter thinks it's ok I may set a heated cathouse in the back yard.

Middle of night woke up just to write this somewhere. Sorry is words are bad.

Game that's 2 player.

Player one is in a 3rd person fully emersive 3D city. This is a PC game. Player one is always host. The objective is just to make it to the other end of the city. No guns or anything. The city is being destroyed by a mysterious force. Plans are crashing building being leveled you just need to make it to safety without being crushed. It's night, theres fire and screaming, explosions all around scary stuff.

Player 2 is playing on a tablet or touch screen device. They are playing a cute game where all you need to do is tap the dot. The dot moves slowly from one end of the screen to the other hiding under colorful pipes and squares. You can also tap butterflies and things the dot might hide under to remove them. There is a lot of positive happy noises.

The dot is player one. The real catch. Player 2 is a cat.

I know not everyone has the luxury of dealing with it in this way. If you don't then I hope you can make your vote count. And if you can do this then maybe consider it.

You get a good chunk of it back anyway.

Last night, I had a dream where I was in my childhood bedroom. A woman barged in and started rummaging through my things, looking for moisturizer for her hands. I angrily told her to leave, feeling my privacy had been violated. Then my brothers came in, doing the same thing, hoping to help the woman. I managed to get them to leave, but I had to barricade my door to keep others out. They sent in odd celebrities—characters from movies and shows I’ve never seen—to try to convince me to open the door. I didn’t recognize them at all.

I noticed the moisturizer on a dresser. It was the same one I keep in my bathroom for my eczema, and I had been wondering if it was still good before bed. Its meaning in the dream wasn't anything salacious, just a simple product. As my siblings and the celebrities started tearing down my door, I agreed to give them the bottle if they would leave me alone. But as they broke through the door, I walked out with the bottle, and they pushed past me to loot my room. They casually took things and left. I was left standing in the doorway, holding nothing but the moisturizer they never really wanted. They just wanted to violate my privacy.

The recurring theme in these dreams is people trying to invade my personal space. It's not much of a mystery though. As an adult, this isn’t really an issue for me, especially since I have an open-door policy with my roommates, whom I trust. So it's odd I still have these. But growing up, especially in my early teens, my siblings were always doing this. They’d invade my room, usually just to be jerks. My sister was the worst. She would invite her friends over, and sometimes they’d break into my room while I was sleeping or changing, just to upset me.

I've always said I'm not afraid of dying alone. It's because I always imagine dying is the thing at the end. A future event. But we're all dying all the time. And being alone at the time of my death isn't the thing to fear it's being alone up to that time. It's being alone now. That's what dying alone is. And this realization makes me afraid.