Sasha

hugs I hope things get a little easier soon ❤️

I gotta try electrolysis sometime, I've been doing IPL at home because laser was too expensive but I can't get rid of the last bit of facial hair -3-

No clue where the image is from, sorry.

Yeah, figured it would be something relativistic like that, I was just looking at overall power to do that back of the envelope calculation. Considering how high the energy is at ~0.25c, it makes me wonder what the average particle spacing is in the jet at that diameter.

I expect a lot wider too, the jets will diverge of course so it's going to depend on how far away from the star you're measuring. I just took 0.05lyr because it's a size I had a very shitty source for hahaha.

Same, I was a couple weeks shy of 1500, I think. Can't say I really miss it, I wasn't getting anything out of it except big number.

I did a little snooping and found someone claiming to have a source on the diameter of a jet, but their link went nowhere. I think it's this though. Anyway, at 0.05 light years across and presumed circular, a human body purposefully over estimated to have a cross sectional area of 2m^2, would be subject to 28.5 gigawatts.

Wolfram Alpha very kindly points out that this is the equivalent of nearly two and a half space shuttles blasting you, boosters and all. Good luck!

I've no idea how accurate this is, but googling gave me an estimate of the energy required that suggests it would take a little less than three seconds to vaporize an entire body. If it can create a plasma, that counts as subatomic in my books, but I've no idea what that would take.

Nuclear would depend more on the particle kinematics and I've got no intuition there tbh. I'm sure it's certainly possible though, especially if you get close.

Oh sick, I forgot to look this up. I heard a cover of it last year by a ridiculously good highschool punk band.

I have a playlist called "Loud Sleep" I put that on, crank the volume up enough that I can't hear my thoughts and wait around until I'm so exhausted I either fall asleep or get sleepy enough that I take them off and pass out. I specifically use Skullcandy crushers so I crank the bass waaaaaay up and let it vibrate my skull.

It's just a bunch of They Might Be Giants' more aggressive/loud songs and a couple that mean something to me. It's not really about avoiding feeling stuff, it's all intended to make me feel more, just without as much thinking. It's kept me alive on some really bad nights when I felt like all I could do was die.

I'm sure I've seen these before, but so far as I can tell they have been taken over by an educational company, as you said. Shame.

I'm saving this post though, if I spot any of these I'll shoot you a message, but I wouldn't hold your breath.

Imposter syndrome because the people around you beat you to coming out is real and sucks so hard. It happened to me, I watched a couple of my friends go through the exact same thing after I came out and it happened in reverse to an acquaintance when I heard someone angrily complain about said acquaintance coming out after them (it was unbelievably toxic and nothing I've seen before or since).

One of the closest people in my life literally hit me with the "just asking for a friend" to see if they're allowed to be non-binary without taking hormones like I do. Even with all the reassurance in the world it can take a long time. It's so so hard, being trans often means overcoming an enormous amount of self doubt and all sorts of internalised nasty things.

You've done an amazing job navigating everything. I'm so proud of you and it only gets better from here, I promise.

Thank you for existing ❤️

Thanks, I appreciate that a lot ❤️

I'm going through some really awful stuff at the moment, and it's hard to feel proud of anything when I absolutely despise myself, but these are things I managed to convince myself are okay:

• Surviving this. I'm working very hard to get better, I have lots of regrets and getting better isn't for the reason I want it to be, but I will succeed
• I helped start a transgender solidarity network, our first rally was the proudest moment of my life
• That time I tried to stop a coal ship from leaving port (it didn't work but it did do a lot of other important things for the rest of the protest)
• I make a really mean creamed cauliflower and I always feel super proud when I get to make it and hear all these strangers say how good it is (it's the easiest dish in the world, people are just addicted to salt)

Haha yeah EEAAO was a trip and I barely understand it either